Page 5 | Really good or really bad? Fantasies chat with BF

Foolonthepill · 2025-06-29T05:45:40+00:00

I really don’t know if I think BF was being really open or *too* open last night! Started seeing him in Feb so not too long ago. Really nice guy though who I know through mutual friends. Sex is good with no red flags (until now!). Couldn’t have sex last night because I have my period so instead I suggested that he describe his biggest fantasy whilst I played with him. Well, it turns out that his biggest fantasy (without going into the jaw dropping details) involves watching his female friends doing various private things, and when he actually came it was whilst talking about them using the loo. Vom. Fantasies are fine. I have my own and frankly I wouldn’t be entirely shame-free if in the cold light of day I had to describe the ones which sometimes got me off. There’s no way I’d ever actually do them. But I don’t like his!! I don’t know whether it’s great that he felt he could be that honest, or a bit gross about what they actually were! I’m also not sure if I ever want to hear about those things again or whether indulging that kind of thing is OK.

KPPlumbing · 29/06/2025 17:04

OneOliveOtter · 29/06/2025 14:27

What a baffling conclusion- you’re happy for him to watch you poo as long as he’s not thinking about other women pooing. This kind of kink is extreme and used to be understandably taboo. Now there have been multiple people on this thread who are saying that it wouldn’t be an issue for them and it’s your fault for opening the door, thankfully not literally yet. For anyone reading this, it’s really not a mainstream thing and if someone asks you to do this or to be involved in this type of extreme kink, it’s not vanilla or boring or any other ‘pick me’ ‘cool-girl’ insult. It’s literally extreme. So extreme that it’s not the type of thing you’d find on most porn sites, on which places men are pushing as many boundaries as they possibly can in the pursuit of views on their content by mainly men. And yet still; this isn’t freely available.

I've said the fantasy wouldn't bother me, and it wouldn't. But that doesn't mean I'd be willing to actually let DH watch me poo or, heaven forbid, be prepared to poo on him!

InjuryMyArse · 29/06/2025 17:50

Unleash The Power Within Upw GIF by Tony Robbins

Ffs

TheWisePlumDuck · 29/06/2025 18:59

Greenfields20 · 29/06/2025 15:48

If a man pleasures a woman is he a performing monkey?

I think women realise it's highly unlikely that the only woman a man ever fantasises about is his girlfriend, but yes it was stupid to admit to.

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Op is on her period, not really into it by her own admission while this 'poo' fantasy is playing out.

The 'performing monkey' part is in reference to this, not the act of pleasuring someone else.

It's the equivalent of a man currently experiencing ED, and pleasuring his missus as she talks about her male friends, even though he's uncomfortable about it.

Greenfields20 · 29/06/2025 21:00

TheWisePlumDuck · 29/06/2025 18:59

Op is on her period, not really into it by her own admission while this 'poo' fantasy is playing out.

The 'performing monkey' part is in reference to this, not the act of pleasuring someone else.

It's the equivalent of a man currently experiencing ED, and pleasuring his missus as she talks about her male friends, even though he's uncomfortable about it.

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It was her desire to pleasure him, she says this in her opening post. Her idea.

As for the fantasy element itself- she only realised she felt off by what he was saying as he was saying it, she didnt know what he was about to say. If your in two minds about how you feel about it you wouldnt necessarily stop just when he is reaching orgasm.

Dancingintherainxxx · 30/06/2025 01:33

it's degrading
he fancies his mates and he can't be trusted now with them
if they knew, they wouldn't be his mates
D U M P

GarlicMile · 30/06/2025 01:49

IButtleSir · 29/06/2025 07:55

Oh god, no. Just no. I couldn't come back from this.

Me, neither. I agree with what @Treatedme wrote: fantasies come from somewhere, they aren't entirely disconnected from who we are and (obviously) our sexuality. It's a pity in several ways, perhaps, but I would never be able to separate what I now knew about him from our actual relationship.

Because I'm a boring twat with too much time on my hands, I have analysed what my fantasies have told me about myself - and altered many of them. They reflected unhealthy power dynamics that had no business being in my secret sex life and, for all I know, could have influenced my generally atrocious choices of partners. I'm not saying I'm clever or anything, I'm trying to show that I really do believe they reflect our inner weirdness.

I mean, if you can just laugh and shrug it off, okay. Me, I'd always be wondering if he was getting off on my bathroom noises or stalking the Ladies' in his free time 😬

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 30/06/2025 01:50

Poor you OP. I'd have to dump him, that is beyond disturbing. I guess this is the problem about asking people what their fantasies are (although fair enough not to expect that!)

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 30/06/2025 02:14

Greenfields20 · 29/06/2025 08:35

Well this is the problem with disclosing fantasies. I may be wrong but I can imagine many men fantasise about women they know as opposed to made up women. The issue here is the toilet element. But there are far worse fantasies he could have, and I'm not talking about anything illegal.

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Tbf they most likely fantasise about having sex with them which is perfectly normal not watching them take a dump! What could be worse than that?! Poor you OP, I almost have to laugh. I don't know how you managed to keep it together!

MyQuirkyTraybake · 30/06/2025 02:49

Treatedme · 29/06/2025 07:29

I would end a relationship over this.

The whole ‘it’s just a fantasy, you did ask’ thing is nonsense. This fantasy tells you something about him. If a man fantasized about racially abusing women, you’d know he is a racist. If a man fantasized about cutting women, you’d know he is a misogynist. You wouldn’t think ‘aw, isn’t it lovely he trusts me enough to tell me’. It’s just boundary eroding shit that women are encouraged to think all this.

This man is a voyeur and a fetishist. I’d never feel safe that he hadn’t set up cameras. there was a case a few years back of a man who used to occasionally joke amongst his friends that he’d put cameras in their bathrooms. He had. ( he was also a prolific and sadistic online sex offender).

And OP, these are not even anonymous women, he’s fantasizing about his friends.

I would absolutely end it with this man. He likes eroding boundaries and feeling in control of women, so eroding yours whilst you felt obliged to keep on ‘servicing’ him, by telling you all that was probably a big part of the turn on for him.

I’d dump him without hesitation. It’s that old saying ‘when people tell you who they are, believe them. He’s very clearly told you who he is. Believe him.

Edited

Yup. This. Porn has rotted his brain at the very best. At worst, he might act on these things.

Greenfields20 · 30/06/2025 06:44

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 30/06/2025 02:14

Tbf they most likely fantasise about having sex with them which is perfectly normal not watching them take a dump! What could be worse than that?! Poor you OP, I almost have to laugh. I don't know how you managed to keep it together!

Edited

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A quick look at a lot of porn out there tells you what could be worse.

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 30/06/2025 06:47

Greenfields20 · 30/06/2025 06:44

A quick look at a lot of porn out there tells you what could be worse.

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It's been awhile, but I'd rather someone was into choking than shitting

Hiiiti · 30/06/2025 07:02

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 29/06/2025 09:33

Next time you’re all out and one of the friends excuses themselves to go to the toilet, you’re going to be wondering if he got a little semi.

🤣

Greenfields20 · 30/06/2025 07:10

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 30/06/2025 06:47

It's been awhile, but I'd rather someone was into choking than shitting

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I'd rather a boyfriend into choking than watching me on the loo also, but in terms of when he fantasises about his friends I'd rather it was something tame and not fantasising about them suffering, being degraded, tortured etc

DontTouchRoach · 30/06/2025 21:57

OneOliveOtter · 29/06/2025 14:27

What a baffling conclusion- you’re happy for him to watch you poo as long as he’s not thinking about other women pooing. This kind of kink is extreme and used to be understandably taboo. Now there have been multiple people on this thread who are saying that it wouldn’t be an issue for them and it’s your fault for opening the door, thankfully not literally yet. For anyone reading this, it’s really not a mainstream thing and if someone asks you to do this or to be involved in this type of extreme kink, it’s not vanilla or boring or any other ‘pick me’ ‘cool-girl’ insult. It’s literally extreme. So extreme that it’s not the type of thing you’d find on most porn sites, on which places men are pushing as many boundaries as they possibly can in the pursuit of views on their content by mainly men. And yet still; this isn’t freely available.

I don’t think anyone’s suggesting it’s mainstream, and I don’t think anyone has suggested the OP ‘should’ be up for trying it.

Nobody should be doing anything they don’t want to, but that applies as much to straightforward penetrative sex as it does to letting someone watch you take a dump. If you don’t like something, don’t do it.

Whether or not it’s ’mainstream’ is irrelevant.

Kimsey1509 · 02/07/2025 20:16

Not being gross or anything but there was a big news item recently that I read about . Google Dubai Porta Potty Parties. This will make this guys fantasies appear tame.

Original poster

Foolonthepill · 02/07/2025 21:47

The post above popped into my feed and reminded me to update this thread!

I went to the gym yesterday with the friend he talked about. That was slightly weird!

The whole thing is odd. We were in bed on Monday just talking and I said he could watch me if he wanted. He said no and that it was the thought of the secret ‘private things’ (his phrase again, which for some reason I find really icky!). rather than actually doing it that was exciting. He then said he didn’t really want to talk about it, so we stopped and I was quite relieved!

Luckily he has been out of the house when I’ve been since then!

OP posts:

BuckChuckets · 02/07/2025 22:00

Sssssecret pppprivate thingsies. Is he poo gollum?

RockingBeebo · 02/07/2025 22:46

I honestly find this so worrying. The focus on "secret private things" screams voyeurism and hidden cameras and perviness. Horrible and so off-putting

BuckChuckets · 02/07/2025 23:09

RockingBeebo · 02/07/2025 22:46

I honestly find this so worrying. The focus on "secret private things" screams voyeurism and hidden cameras and perviness. Horrible and so off-putting

It's disturbing, isn't it? The fact that when he's offered it with consent, it doesn't do it for him.

InjuryMyArse · 03/07/2025 00:16

Yet you have haven't ditched him.

PolyCat · 03/07/2025 03:24

The whole watching without consent thing is making this way more ICK

MsDogLady · 03/07/2025 04:39

@Foolonthepill, your BF gets aroused at the thought of stealing the agency of his female friends during their private moments. That is deviant in my book. He would be history.

Original poster

Foolonthepill · 03/07/2025 06:29

MsDogLady · 03/07/2025 04:39

@Foolonthepill, your BF gets aroused at the thought of stealing the agency of his female friends during their private moments. That is deviant in my book. He would be history.

Yeah it is making me wonder now. I won’t be seeing him for a few days now so will give it thought.
Our sex life is normal. He’s never said or done anything unusual until this thing. On the one hand I feel bad saying ‘Tell me anything. It’s fine!’ and then it not being fine! But on the other hand… he wants to watch our mates without them knowing, in theory at least.

OP posts:

OfcourseitsaNC · 03/07/2025 06:42

Not weird at all. An awful lot of people get off on the "hidden" agenda. The secrecy is the kicker. Knowing you could be discovered adds to the thrill.

From the way your guy is talking about it, this sounds purely fantasy to me. Something he wants to stay in the brain to get him off and never wanting to act on it.

Greenfields20 · 03/07/2025 07:16

Yes it sounds just like pure fantasy not anything he is likely to do in real life.