He kicked me out and took my son

[444pinkunicorns]

For the last 18 months I have lived with my partner in a property he owns. Today, following an argument he has asked me to move out immediately and has allowed me to take a small bag of my belongings.

We have an 8 week old son together, who he is refusing to allow me to take with me. Currently he is keeping our son away from me and refusing to let me see him, hold him, or take him with me following the break up.

I am our son’s primary caregiver and do pretty much all of the parenting. I have somewhere stable to move into and will be staying close to family.

Can anyone advise on what I should do or what my rights are?

Omg F off with the islamophobia

my white British ex did the same to me, it happens. Your ignorance and prejudice is breathtaking

This. Went through similar when we kept my stepkids from their bm and had to go court next day (although alot of issues with bm so we won full custody).
With no court order in place both parent's have the right to have the child reside with them unfortunately.
Police will not intervene if no court order as, just for an example, the dad could've thrown the mum out for abu..ng the child, the police cant just hand baby over on a person's say so. It's wrong but it also makes sense.
OP, if you have friends or family that can encourage dad to do the right thing then try that. Do not go in all angry or threatening as dad could then use that against you for being 'unstable'. Also dad would want to know when he will see his child again as that fear in him could be fuelling his decision making. When you, family or friend approach him, suggest what days etc he can see his child and make a note of it all.
If that doesn't work then court would be the next step. As above with the police, social services are unable to swoop in and take the baby and hand over to you without them doing their checks.

If you think there is no basis in fact that in many Muslim countries the father is presumed to be the rightful 'owner' of the children in a relationship breakdown and that the courts in those countries would support the father in removing a child from his mother for ANY reason, because the prevailing Islamic cultural belief is that children belong to their father and their father's family, then the one with the ignorance and prejudice is you.

I'll wait for an apology.

You are right that I have taken it upon myself to wonder (not assume) if the father is Muslim, because life experience (living in the ME for many years and knowing people this has happened to) has taught me that this is not an uncommon scenario there when marriages break down. Whereas it is definitely not a very common scenario here that white European men truly believe they stand a chance of keeping a young child from its mother, even if they threaten it. Certainly not when there is no evidence of abuse or neglect from the mother.

In many ME countries there doesn't even need to be evidence of abuse or neglect from the mother. It's the default practice if it's what the the father demands, and especially if the wife is foreign, non-Muslim and likely to want to leave the country with the child.

You can call it bigotry and prejudice if you like. I call it realism.

Wtaf

Are you the partner?????

Is it? The baby is his son. I'm not defending his behaviour, but what would the police do?

What are you even talking about? OP posted at 10:36, has probably been too busy to post again, and you want the thread removed? Because she didn't return in an hour and a half?

Yeah, I do call it bigotry and prejudice to jump to the assumption that the father is a Muslim in this instance, and clearly so do Mumsnet, who have taken your post down as hate speech

You’re wrong about ir not happening in the UK by the way, this shit happens, it’s about control.

aso to follow your argument to its logical conclusion, are you suggesting that a Muslim man living in the UK would not be clever enough to know that the rules might be different from his country of origin?

your post just stank, pretend you’re being a realist all you want, but some reflection might do you more good

I don't think it would be classed as kidnap, but I doubt that without solid grounds a father would be legally allowed to remove a young baby from its mother's care, especially when the mother has been the primary carer up to now. Not in the UK anyway. As I say, in some countries where Islam and the law are entangled, it's different. But not here.

I imagine this is the sort of thing that would go to an emergency family court hearing with social workers involved, if the police could not persuade the father to see sense and hand the baby over without a fuss.

Oh shut up.

If you have working connections to safeguarding teams, then you'll know that you can seek advice from the duty team as its the weekend.

Call the police and ask to speak to the domestic violence unit. Explain you have an 8 week old baby, your partner is trying to throw you out of the house without all your possessions and while denying you any contact with your baby and being abusive - name calling etc. You are scared of what he will do if you refuse to leave as you can’t leave your baby. Also call your family. You need support and protection. Do not leave voluntarily without your child.

Do this OP

The amount of misinformation and bad advice on this thread is genuinely scary

There is absolutely zero chance that the police wouldn’t allow you to take the baby. This is serious, serious controlling and coercive behaviour. You must must must ring 999 and they will help you to escape with your baby within the next 15 minutes!

The fact that you are still in the house is excellent. If he has been abusive to you previously as well as this episode of coercive and controlling behaviour you can call the police and ask them to assist you in leaving safely with your baby. As you haven't left the house, they will be able to do that.

Wtaf? Call the police, or wait until he falls asleep, take your baby and run.

Omg you need to get some proper advice and speak to the police now. The fact your ex is withholding access is a massive risk and providing bottles and support to facilitate him being the primary carer is simply madness. I am really sorry but I simply don't understand why you named the father on the birth certificate and why you haven't reported this already.......

A man deliberately trying to separate an 8 week old baby from its mother IS a danger to that that baby. He clearly either doesn't care about or understand the baby's needs, and so shouldn't be left in sole care.

Exactly. Especially when he has done barely any of the parenting so far.

Police and social services. Baby way more important but only allowing you a bag is another sign of controlling behaviour.

I'm pretty shocked too. If it is in fact the case that the law treats both parents of newborns as if they were completely interchangeable, and think its fine for a father to take a young baby from its mother, the law is not protecting babies