He kicked me out and took my son

[444pinkunicorns]

For the last 18 months I have lived with my partner in a property he owns. Today, following an argument he has asked me to move out immediately and has allowed me to take a small bag of my belongings.

We have an 8 week old son together, who he is refusing to allow me to take with me. Currently he is keeping our son away from me and refusing to let me see him, hold him, or take him with me following the break up.

I am our son’s primary caregiver and do pretty much all of the parenting. I have somewhere stable to move into and will be staying close to family.

Can anyone advise on what I should do or what my rights are?

The birth certificate is of no immediate. importance, the child’s safety is.

Are you are referring to my post where I told OP to tell the police that her partner has previously threatened that if she leaves him, he will take her DS from her and not allow her to have contact with her son, @Oodlesof?

OP has posted about her partner before and said that he had threatened that 2 weeks ago in a previous thread. He is acting on his threat. I do refer to it being in a previous post in my post. I know it’s not good form to refer to previous threads usually but I think it is justified in this situation.

What age of child do things change? Certainly if a father with PR and no court order in place picks a child up from school even if mum’s turn to do and doesn’t let mum see child. There is nothing school can do nor the police if the child is not in danger. As both parents have PR. So surely police do have to check whether parent has PR.

Totally understand distressing for OP and custody arrangements start off with limited time with dad if young baby and dad not previously involved. But if they have been living together is that different?

Bearing in mind in some countries many mums are back at work after 6 weeks so baby is used to be being away from mum.

No

@444pinkunicorns id call the police and ask them to accompany you to collect your so and Belongings .
Id this doesn’t work an emergency application to the court on Monday if you can .

Agree
Police today
See legal advice on Monday

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my post and weigh in with some suggestions. I apologise for not having time to reply to comments individually, as being on my phone for that long would cause further conflict. Hopefully, I can add some more context below.

My baby is formula fed. To ensure he is fed I have provided the dad with the formula and bottles. As parents we may be arguing, but the needs of the baby still come first.

I am still in the property and have no plans to leave without my baby, unless I am asked to leave by the police.

Dad is on the birth certificate and has the right to be with him. I’m not so concerned with them being together, more that our child is being withheld from me.

I have no plans on making any false allegations. I do however have evidence of aggressive behaviour and name calling from my ex partner.

As far as I am aware, there are no concerns regarding my ability to care for my child. My job pre-maternity leave was in a safeguarding role, I have no previous police involvement, no drug use, and there have been no concerns raised by any health care professionals involved in my pre and postnatal care.

I understand that options are limited, especially with it being the weekend. Thank you to everyone who has suggested contacting women’s aid and looking into a court order, I think this is the route I’ll try and go down.

The birth certificate is of relevance, @viques . If he isn’t on the birth certificate, he doesn’t have parental responsibility. He could get it by going to court but I think we can safely assume he hasn’t done that yet given that the baby is only 8 weeks old.

If he doesn’t have PR, the police can take the baby and return him to his mother. It makes things a lot simpler in the short term.

@444pinkunicorns

Are you safe where you are, OP?

I would really consider contacting non emergency police. At least they can advise as to what the law is.

Do you feel safe? Do you have family close by that can could come over?

So glad you’re still in the property for your baby’s sake, although I worry about his behaviour escalating as domestic abuse often starts during pregnancy and always escalates with time. Please don’t hesitate to call the police if you feel scared. It’s also truly horrific that he’s withholding such a young baby from you. Is there anyone in his family that you have contact with who could come and talk some common sense in to him? He clearly is so heightened he can’t even recognise that his actions at this time will reflect very poorly on him if/when it goes to court. With regards to next steps on Monday definitely speak to mash, so your concerns are at least shared, a solicitor, and if you struggle to get through to women’s aid a more local domestic abuse charity.

Just don't leave the house without your baby, OP.

Tell him if he wants you out he will have to call the police to come and remove you, and they won't force you to leave your baby behind.

Then call your family and get them to come and pick you up, together with your baby and ALL of your belongings. None of this "he's allowing me to take one small bag". You leave with everything that belongs to you, and if there is any trouble from him whatsoever you just call the police and then you and your family sit there until the police show up.

Sorry you’re going through this, OP. What a horrible situation. Your ex sounds very abusive as that is a horrible way for him to behave towards you. It’s good that you’ve not left without your baby. Are you safe where you are? Can a friend or family member come to be with you?

Sorry, I was responding because at the time it was not clear that the OP was still in the house. Like many others I assumed her partner had kicked her out and was alone with the child. In that instance, it would have been very irrational behaviour whether or not the partner was on the birth certificate or not, so the priority would have been ensuring the child’s safety. The fact that the OP was there all the time makes a difference. Hindsight etc etc.

I understand from your other posts that you are a qualified, acting social worker.

I am not in the legal profession and don’t profess to be. My understanding is that while preventing a mother from having access to her newborn is not technically a crime, it could be potentially harmful under the Children Act 1989. The aim of the family courts is of course the child’s welfare.

Happy to be corrected by someone such as yourself who is more qualified.

Must say I am pretty shocked though, that a father can simply push a mother away (someone who hasn’t even recovered from birth) and forbid all access and that the law would be on his side until such a time as family courts intervene.

So you haven't actually left the house yet, or left your baby?

That isn't the case in the UK, plus OP's previous thread said that her partner wasn't helping with the baby at all so her baby definitely isn't used to being away from its mum.

I would call the police and ask them to be present with you whilst you pack your bags and leave the property with your baby. And no this is NOT wasting their time.
Let him be the one to make an application for contact not the other way round.
Just get out of there and be safe.

Is he being withheld from you within the house? Ie is he shutting you out of a room for example so you can’t touch your child or is he denying you the ability to leave the house with your child?

The post is confusing have you been kicked out or not? Do you just need help?

Honestly? Take your baby and leave. Do not leave the house without your child.

From the update it sounds like the man is keeping the baby in a separate room and not allowing the op access to the baby.
How is this sustainable?

Call the police to assist you, this is an abusive man basically kidnapping the child whilst your still in the house.

I was in this situation

if he is asking you to keave

You leave with your baby when he isn’t there

contact the above services as pp have said