My boyfriend isn’t talking to me after a night out

[sad2025]

I don’t often go out late in the evenings but I had a work invitation to go to a really nice event, as there were free drinks there I had a few but by no means was I drunk
My partner collected me from the station and stayed the night but has been ignoring ever since
I am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleep
The only thing he has said to me is I should know why because of Tuesday night

This is not a good man and you deserve better! He is emotionally abusing you.
I hope you had a good night and find the courage to dump him, even when he inevitably comes grovelling and promising he will change!
Good luck x

Lovely, he saw collecting you from your event as a transaction. He was expecting sex probably and didn't get it. That's what he means. Either that or he's punishing you for daring to go out and have a few drinks and a nice time.
Either way, he's way out of line to treat you like this, and you deserve better than him.

Does the old MN mantra work here, you know the one about listening when someone tells you what they are like? I think it does.

he is telling you he is

controlling
jealous,
emotionally immature
spiteful
unable to express emotions
resentful
pig headed
sulky

Lets face it, if he was a coercive control bingo card you would have just hit the jackpot.

Fucking hell. Raise your bar, girl!
Dump his controlling jealous arse and move on.

Oh god, run, keep running and don’t stop! He’s a controlling asshole and things will not get better.

you deserve better than this. Please, please have some respect and leave this dickhead. There are plenty of decent men out there, who will tell you to go out and enjoy yourself then make you a bacon butter the next day when you’re delicate!

This one is easy
Tell him to “fucking do one” OP

As you say you have a full life getting rid of this lump will improve your chances of not ending up lonely not diminish them

“body count” is a recent term from the online toxic manosphere - as is the control of your actions - as is the sulking - as is the expectation you should act as he deems fit.

screw that it’s a lovely summer
imagine how much brighter it would be without “well this”

My ex was also early 50s, me late 40s and for context I’m an introvert, dress modestly, never wear make up, wfh a lot - and even when I got with him, didn’t invite him to mine or sleep with him for months as I’m naturally cautious - AND YET….he still believed that I was messaging other men and unfaithful! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Re your body count comment, for some weird reason he was also obsessed with knowing ‘what number’ he was and just wouldn’t accept I had literally only had 2 guys I’d previously dated - I felt like to satisfy him, I had to increase the number to make it to what he expected it should be. Just crazy really.

It’s like a sickness this inherent paranoia some men have and will suck the joy out of your relationship. Eg he would passively aggressively asks me when I was thinking of selling up so we could live together like he was so deluded he couldn’t even see he didn’t even seem to like or trust me yet still wanted a future together?! Needless to say, I dumped him and moved on. I was sick to my stomach and anxious as otherwise he could be sweet and funny and oh so handsome to boot. Being as quiet as I am with no family or friends I felt if I dumped him I may be alone forever but on the other hand it’s no fun being accused or treated as not up to someone’s standard on a weekly basis. My ex didn’t even like me studying for exams because it was time away from him and also gave me the cold shoulder if I had to stay overnight for a work event - so not even a party!

@sad2025 You have to be brave and just throw this one back. There’s really no future in being with someone where you have to second guess them all the time like you’re a criminal amd always walking on egg shells.

He's a horrible, gaslighting cunt and you should leave him. You know that don't you. He's turned you into an anxious, stressed out mess just because you had a lovely evening out without him. It won't change. This will be the rest of your life. How could being single be worse than being with someone like that?

Please take notice of this, OP.

Please leave him. He sounds horrible, immature and controlling. You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells around him. You shouldn't have to run after him begging for forgiveness (especially when you haven't done anything). You shouldn't be too scared to go out because of his reaction.
Dump him and if he chooses to think it's because you have another boyfriend that's up to him. You could try telling him it's because he's an immature controlling twat but he won't listen so I'd just dump and block.

Your life would be the same without him except you wouldn't be chasing ghost problems that's he's made up to fuck woth your head and all the time you spend trying to please an insecure price would be spent on pleasing yourself.

You are not a service animal. You don't exist to prop up his ego.

And gently, you need to take the advice you're getting on this thread about dumping him because the emotionally healthy response to this is

"If you aren't going to tell me what I did wrong on Tuesday then there's nothing to discuss. I have no interest in having a relationship with someone who cannot clearly articulate their concerns and communicate as an adult. Bye."

sweetie, Im a very old glimmer here, possibly old enough to be your gran. Listen to me. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS

Can never understand when folk get pissy over their partner going on a night out?

I see it as a great opportunity to watch that show or movie you know your partner would hate but you're dying to see.

He is punishing you for having a life. He is making things difficult and unpleasant for no reason purely so you won’t have the audacity to go out without him again.
Absolutely don’t reach out or apologise. Eventually he will either contact you being completely normal because he knows he’s got nothing to actually berate you for, or he won’t. Personally I think the best option would be if he doesn’t.

Dear god

Dump him

You don't even live together and he's possessive and controlling

The only reason he wanted to pick you up was to 'confirm' his opinion of you

Use it as your chance to end the relationship. Your saving grace is that you don’t live together. Change your locks if he’s got a key, and just never reply to him again.

what a controlling arsehole. I’m so glad you’ve recognised that his behaviour isn’t ok. Don’t waste any more time on him.

Unfortunately from personal experience, I'd say if he's accusing you of cheating, there's a good chance he's the one cheating.
He's judging you by his own standards and can't imagine someone being faithful, because it's not in his realm of experience.

And this is better than being single seriously, hes punishing you for going out its complete control , its the cycle of abuse google it the power and control wheel, you then feel its your job to walk on egg shells and do as you are told to stop him sulking, and why are you with someone who doesnt trust you

I haven’t replied to him at all, which normally is very unlike me, I normally turn myself inside out to placate him. I can’t speak to him he has gone to far

He sounds really nasty and controlling. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

You both sound about 15.

Tell him that you don’t know what you’ve done wrong, so he either acts like an adult and communicates it or can stop contacting you all together.

Do not speak to him until he tells you what it is.

Its likely you’ve done nothing wrong which is why he’s not said anything specific, he enjoys you being stressed and anxious.

He is incredibly childish and I can’t be bothered to speak to him at the moment
I suspect he will come over so I can see that he is incredibly cross with me as I haven’t replied
I think I shall take the dog and stay somewhere else for the weekend

Get rid of the controlling pathetic excuse for a man.

You're already on your own.

Ditch him, you'll be so much happier without that albatross around your neck ❤