My boyfriend isn’t talking to me after a night out

[sad2025]

I don’t often go out late in the evenings but I had a work invitation to go to a really nice event, as there were free drinks there I had a few but by no means was I drunk
My partner collected me from the station and stayed the night but has been ignoring ever since
I am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleep
The only thing he has said to me is I should know why because of Tuesday night

He is a jealous and controlling prick. You went out - that's your crime. Ditch this miserable arse!

Good for you OP. The longer you stay away from him the more you will realise that a) you are perfectly fine being alone and b) he is a manipulative, controlling, nasty man.

Block him too so he can't spoil your lovely relaxing weekend. You deserve one.

💯

Sounds like a good plan! And block him so he can’t disturb your headspace

Ditch him.

Think of all the things you will be a belt to do without him.

Go away for weekends.
Go out for drinks after work.
Go away for work without being made to feel guilty.
Go out for lunch on your own or with someone…you choose!
Take up a hobby.
Watch what you want on TV/read/knit.
Not have to constantly question what it is you’ve done wrong when you know fine well you have done nothing wrong but because you’re a nice person you’re concerned you have done something wrong so tie yourself in knots working it out then end up apologising for something you haven’t done so he’ll talk to you again. (That was tiring just typing it, never mind living it!).

Onwards & upwards!

'he is always telling me he knows I have another boyfriend'

Sorry, haven't RTWT but there's ^ your answer. Gaslighting.

This man wants you to feel 'sick and anxious'. Because you dislike feeling this way, so you will do anything to avoid feeling it again. Which means you will avoid doing anything that might 'upset' him.

It's how it starts. He's already moved to the next level with 'I know you've got another boyfriend' - which means that you will try anything to convince him that you haven't - including never going out alone.

Why would you WANT to be with a man who deliberately makes you feel anxious?

So let me get this straight. He doesn’t live with you. He’s currently not speaking to you. But he’s going to come over to your house to make the point that he’s cross and not speaking to you ? And now he’s cross because you’re not responding to this shit ? You’re feeling sick and anxious and that’s exactly the point of this behaviour - to keep you where he wants you. And why are you turning yourself inside out to please and placate him ? Is any of this better than being on your own ? Can you get a peek at his browsing history at some point because all of this is very Andrew Tate and I’d bet the farm that’s an In any event you need to put on your big girl pants and dump him. He’s given you more than enough reason. You’ll only realise how much he controlled you when you let go.

Get rid, block & have a peaceful weekend!

That's all I'm reading lately on here is about controlling, vile men! Why do we women put up with it??

Dump this man. He is controlling and makes you anxious. Trusting respectful relationships aren't like this. Your life will be so much better without him. You've given him 4 years, don't waste another day! Stand up for yourself, dump him and move forward with your life. Good luck.

My ex used to play this game saying "you know.. you know what you did". I didn't. I would spend hours or days racking my brain of every possible thing I could have done that could have upset him. It's a form of control and I would go as far as saying emotional abuse. I couldn't eat or sleep and ended up getting ill in a state of wondering what I had done wrong. Sometimes I don't even think they know. Perhaps they simply didn't like you going out but even they know they can't admit that because of how ridiculous it is and trying to put you off going out again. In my case, he also used it as a tactic to try and get me to reveal something that didn't happen.

@sad2025 Heavens above OP, you've put up with his jealous, controlling nonsense for four years? Why?! You've wasted four years on this man-child when you could have been building a relationship with someone who is loving, kind and respectful to you. I'm thrilled you've finally realised the problem is him, not you, and you've had enough, so if you really think he may come over this weekend if you continue to blank him, then you need to formally end the relationship: "DP, I have done nothing wrong - you believe I have because I dared to go to a social event without you. Going forward I hope your mindless, unwarranted jealousy and insecurities keep you warm at night because I won't be. We're done. Cheerio." Then BLOCK.

Get rid. You don't need this in your life.

At first I thought mmmmm, how tipsy were you actually? Because it can be annoying having to collect partner who is drunk (but thinks they are tipsy) on a regular basis (ie. twice this week). I had this with my ex and it was an absolute nuisance having to collect him from places and deal with his drunken behaviour and he always claimed he wasn't drunk but really was.

However, I then saw that he's complained about other things too and says things like he knows you have another boyfriend. So I'm inclined to think that you weren't drunk, that it isn't a regular thing which could get annoying and that he's just a jealous dickhead who doesn't want you socializing with people other than him.

Bin him OP. You can do way better than this.

YES

Some of us never have and never would.

ETA: If we don't know our own worth and show we know it, how can others know?

SHOW HIM YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH OP! 🤗

LTB now before he gets worse. He sounds like an immature controlling arsewipe.

I wasn’t that drunk,it’s a one off to collect me as we don’t live together, and it was a three minute journey from my place to the station but would have taken me 25 mins to walk it
I was happy tipsy because I had a nice evening
I genuinely rarely go out late because I have to dog to sort out cover for
that’s the only reason for him to come over ( it’s actually his dog but that’s another issue)

@sad2025 "I was happy tipsy because I had a nice evening." Yup, and this is the crux of his issue with you OP - you had a nice evening without him and he just doesn't like it. I will add to the chorus of consensus on here: GET RID of him.

This. I've been treated to enough silent treatment to last a lifetime. It's controlling. You deserve to know what you've done or what he thinks you've done.

Love this response!

Hang on a minute, he has foisted a dog on you to keep you from going out when you want???

Surely being single would be so much easier than putting up with this utter BS.

Tell him it's over and embrace a life of doing what you want when you want with no one to pout about it.

Because we think that it can't be happening and happening to some of us 'again' albeit in a different way. 😕

Go out more and enjoy your life without his jealousy and controlling behaviour.
Make plans with friends, join social groups, start some hobbies.

Big red flags about the other boyfriend.
State clearly that you behaved reasonably and enjoyed the night out on Tuesday as you have every year, that you thanked him for picking you up and that he needs to change his 'silent' mode to 'adult discuss' mode because you will not accept living with judgement.

You came home happy and perked up. He has behaved like a tyrant.
Recognise what level of anxiety you want to live with.