Plus One wedding Issue

[libra89]

Hi my boyfriend has been to two weddings this year without me. He has said that in both wedding invitations that no plus ones are invited. I have been with him about a year now. I feel very left out because of this. Any advice what I should do. Thanks in advance

Bugger all you can do in terms of getting invited to other’s weddings OP

i am guessing there’s other issues too?

Had you met the people getting married? Were they his family?

Op you were the one that started the thread about him telling you last minute about going on a stag do, and you didn’t have anything else to do? No friends?

OP, weddings are expensive, guest lists are a nightmare, and quite a few have the rule of “no ring, no bring”. My DD was only invited to the evening part of a wedding when her DP was the best man (wedding was miles away in the country) - it happens. Nothing you can do about it, and rather entitled to expect to be invited to every wedding your BF goes to - you may regard yourself as a “fixture” after a year: other people don’t necessarily.

It's not clear from your post what the main problem is.

Is it that you don't believe him about plus ones not being invited? That he doesn't want you to join him for some reason?

Or do you think he shouldn't have accepted the invitations because you weren't invited?

How long have you been together? Do you live together?

It depends on a lot of factors, do you know the people? Weddings are usually planned more than a year in advance so if they booked the wedding with a set amount of guests then they will not want to be paying more money for including extra people.

Not much you can do about your boyfriend being invited to weddings without a plus one. Would be very different if he didn’t take you and it included a plus one!

You've been with him "about a year", which I'm guessing means you're rounding up. Have you even met the people getting married? They probably aren't inviting you because they don't know you or know yet that you will be a permanent fixture. Weddings are expensive and wedding photos last forever. I allowed 4 of my friends to bring short term boyfriends to our wedding (a year may feel long term to you, but in the grand scheme of "till death do us part" it's really not) because I wasn't that precious about it, but every single one of them has since broken up with the guy. They're all immortalised on my photos and much to my friends' dismay will forever be up on my wall (it bothers them more than it does me, but not all marrying couples will feel as relaxed about the prospect of a stranger on their pictures years down the line).

Also our wedding was 2 years of planning and we sent save the dates a year in advance, invites about 8 months before. So got would have very much not been on their radar when finalising guest lists.

Yes that was me I met his family but haven’t met his friends yet

I have met his parents

If you've only met his parents why are surprised you aren't invited to weddings?

I'd be more bothered I hadn't met anyone else.

Sometimes other people invite plus ones. I know they are expensive. I don’t think I am entitled or anything. I feel very left out and missing out on socialising with other people.

So you haven’t met the people getting married, but think you should be invited?

You don’t seem to have any friends? You have never been to wedding for a friend of yours?

No I haven’t met them it’s just to feel included

After a year you have not met his friends?

Do you have any friends?

Yes I have friends. I haven’t met one or two but that’s it

has he met your friends?

have you ever been to a wedding for one of your friends op?

Do you have your own friends? I can't remember if that was something you said in your last thread?

Also, don't you think it's a bit odd you still haven't met his friends after a year? Is he ashamed of them/you? Is he hiding something?

If you’ve only been together a year, he probably got the invitation to the weddings before you were even together? I’d be unlikely to invite a short term partner as a plus one to a wedding, unless the person I wanted to invite didn’t know anyone else going.

This is one you need to get over and you’ll eventually start getting invited, most likely once you’ve started to meet the people who will be getting married in future.

I think plus ones are a thing of the past nowadays.

More weird was him not mentioning the stag do weekend away until the weekend before it.

and he hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends

OP… this sounds like scraps at best

That isn’t their responsibility
to make a complete stranger to them feel included in the wedding day

op you are coming across as a little… peculiar

But bluntly, OP, it’s hardly the responsibility of a bride and groom you’ve never met to make you feel ‘included’?

How do I get over it

I don’t know. I met one or two of his friends and his parents

I know what you mean. I feel like I’m missing out socialising