Plus One wedding Issue

[libra89]

Hi my boyfriend has been to two weddings this year without me. He has said that in both wedding invitations that no plus ones are invited. I have been with him about a year now. I feel very left out because of this. Any advice what I should do. Thanks in advance

This is heart breaking

I would hazard a guess this chap doesn’t even know he’s meant to be the boyfriend of the OP

can you talk to your parents op? I understand you don’t want to tell us how old you are so I’ll leave that

Ok solid advice.

STOP expecting your boyfriend to expand your social circle. if you feel that he’s not including you in his life enough then TALK to him. STOP expecting strangers to invite you to their wedding to help you “feel included”. EXPAND your own circle- make friends of your own. MOVE OUT of your parents house if you can!! Unless you’re a carer for them or saving for a place etc there’s not many valid reasons that you should be living there especially as you’ve said you’re trying to be independent.

IF YOUR BOYFRIEND ISNT WILLING TO INTEGRATE YOU INTO HIS LIFE YOU NEED TO DECIDE IF ITS ENOUGH AND WALK AWAY.

She’s 35

Did op confirm how old the “boyfriend” is?

You are 35 and still living with your parents, and he presumably is a similar age still living with his. Unless you are a carer this also says quite a bit.
OP it is not normal to include a plus one. I have never been to a wedding that did this (I’m 63 so have been to quite a number). And for partners to be invited they are usually living together or are in a long term committed relationship, which you are not in. So that answers the wedding issue.
The greater issue of you feeling excluded is really nothing to do with your boyfriend. You need to get a life outside of him. That doesn’t mean you need loads of friends. It does mean pursuing activities that interest you and leading a full life outside of your parents and boyfriend. Work on that.

I'm sorry you're offended by people asking if you have learning needs OP, but your communication style is very repetitive and you don't seem to be taking in the advice people are giving you. If you were vulnerable in some way the advice people are giving you would be different and less direct.

You need to actively work on expanding your social network without your boyfriend. Yes, it's nice to have couple friends, but if you split up these friends are unlikely to remain friends with you if they knew your boyfriend first. It's great that you've got a couple of good friends, but it's also nice to have more casual friends that you can do stuff with occasionally or have a chat when you attend the same hobby.

I would also suggest you have a chat with your boyfriend and make sure that you're on the same page about how serious your relationship is. If you haven't been introduced to most of his friends it suggests that he might see your relationship as more casual than you do.

What do your friends and family make of your boyfriend, did they like him?

I think you’re putting a lot of expectation on your boyfriend to occupy your free time. Yes couples usually spend a great deal of time together and sometimes friendship groups blend together but you also need to be self reliant and self sufficient.

You’re expecting your boyfriend’s social life to become your social life. People who do not know you are not going to Invite you places.

This more needs to be a discussion with your boyfriend about where your relationship is going. If things are progressing well then I’d expect you to meet his family which you have but also get to know his friends more.

You might feel some posters are having a go at you but it’s simply because you’re expecting others to consider you and include you when they have no idea who you are. You are repeating some things over and over so it reads as if you’re lonely.
It’s horrible feeling lonely and thinking that the world is going on and you’re stuck at home but might be a good idea to get yourself out there and start a hobby, increase you’re own social circle.

You can’t expect me to agree with everything and say yea yea I should go with this advice and that’s it. I have opinions too

are you an expert in special needs???

I can see what your writing about me and it’s not nice

Bloody hell this is like pulling teeth 😂 You're illustrating my point to perfection. You're not understanding the words that people are saying. It's not about you agreeing or disagreeing, it's about you literally not being able to comprehend what people are saying/asking. I'm bowing out here.

I understand perfectly well what everyone is asking.

But you didn’t when I asked

“you don’t know if if you have one or two good friends”?

ie
one OR two

I said two

You did not

I have one or two good friends but they are married

I have met one or two of his friends

There is so so much to unpick Op.
I don’t really know where to even begin

If you don’t want to engage, why start a thread?

The more the OP posts, the more things become plain. I can’t see her accepting any of the well intentioned advice on the thread.

I think she’s got some significant issues to work through but doesn’t want to put in the effort, she wants it fixed for her.

That isn’t going to happen.

So she’ll remain at her parents’ home, seeing her boyfriend in his mid 30s who keeps his social life separate, and her two married friends who have other priorities now. Refusing counselling “because it makes her feel like there’s something wrong” and not engaging with others socially.

It’s very frustrating.

You are taking all of this out of proportion. One or two nice people giving me friendly advice the others judging me by what I say

And I do I not have an opinion either

U wot? 😂

I said Two read the last message

this is getting ridiculous now