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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

526 replies

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 15:57

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

OP posts:
Marmalade71 · 19/06/2025 18:03

OP it's slightly concerning you need to ask.

Please never speak to this awful bully again

Melonmango70 · 19/06/2025 18:03

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 16:54

Thank you all for responding.

We found ourselves in a disagreement when I asked him whether he was seeking a sexual relationship (we have previously been intimate, but he recently made several comments that implied he was only interested in fun). He became quite annoyed with me and said that he had already told me he wanted a relationship, accusing me of not believing or trusting him. He said I accused him instead of simply asking, and started making comments like, "he might as well take what he wants from me as that’s what I think of him anyway." I told him he was being a dick mocking me, which prompted him to respond, "it’s not normal for your tits to bounce during sex, you fat cunt." and blocked me.

I feel like a mug.

He's vile. Bin him off.

Dickieanddolly · 19/06/2025 18:04

No. My cunt (from the Anglo-Saxon quint) is a wonderful part of my body — an amazing female organ. I don't have anything to do with anyone who uses the word as an insult. It's a sexist, misogynist insult and if you use it, you tell me everything I need to know about you.

OneFineDay22 · 19/06/2025 18:05

Never speak to him again. He is testing what you will put up with - very worrying that’s it’s so much so soon

Anyahyacinth · 19/06/2025 18:07

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 16:54

Thank you all for responding.

We found ourselves in a disagreement when I asked him whether he was seeking a sexual relationship (we have previously been intimate, but he recently made several comments that implied he was only interested in fun). He became quite annoyed with me and said that he had already told me he wanted a relationship, accusing me of not believing or trusting him. He said I accused him instead of simply asking, and started making comments like, "he might as well take what he wants from me as that’s what I think of him anyway." I told him he was being a dick mocking me, which prompted him to respond, "it’s not normal for your tits to bounce during sex, you fat cunt." and blocked me.

I feel like a mug.

He’s shown himself and he’s monstrous 🚩Ps real tits bounce beautifully during the best sex …you can do better ♥️🌷🌷🌷🌷♥️

KateShugakIsALegend · 19/06/2025 18:07

Christ, no.

And - just as an aside - has he never seen real tits before?

LucyMonth · 19/06/2025 18:08

I’ve been married 10 years and have kids and I leave my husband without a seconds thought if he said this even once. It’s really not a high standard to have. It’s the absolute bare minimum. Grown adults should never ever been swearing at each other and calling each other names during a “tiff”.

BagelandEggs · 19/06/2025 18:08

Absolutely not! It would only carry on and probably get worse. Sounds like anger management problems so get out fast and save yourself a lot of trouble in the long run! Good luck!

FreebieWallopFridge · 19/06/2025 18:09

You’ve known this man for 3 months.

I’ve known my other half for 3 decades and if he called me that I’d leave him.

If some man I’d known 3 months called me that it wouldn’t even be a question and he wouldn’t have had time to block me first.

Gyozas · 19/06/2025 18:09

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 17:36

@Namechangerage sorry, I didn’t mean to mislead people, I just wasn’t sure how to word the title. I understand he’s not my partner / spouse

Surely you’re not considering forgiving this @sunshineandroses25???😱 you’re THREE MONTHS IN AND HE’S CALLED YOU A FAT CUNT.

LucyMonth · 19/06/2025 18:10

& BTW tits are literally at their best when bouncing during sex. Men literally love bouncing tits. Wtf is wrong with him?

3peassuit · 19/06/2025 18:10

Not acceptable ever. Get rid of him.

Rollergirl999 · 19/06/2025 18:10

Bin him now - that’s unforgivable

Potatosaladsalsa · 19/06/2025 18:11

Three years in, if he bought a present, got me flowers and paid for dinner as an apology, then sure. But three months in? Out the door.

DoYouReally · 19/06/2025 18:11

Absolutely not.

It's early dating when people are trying their absolute best to be impressive- if he's this bad now he's only going to get worse.

For what it's work, I spend about 4 years in my mid 30s dating regularly - at least 50 men. The might not have been right for me or me right for them but not a single one of them ever insulted, abused or belittled me. My point being the majority of men are decent. Why saddle yourself with the bottom of the pile?

Dita73 · 19/06/2025 18:12

Can’t believe you’re even asking. Ditch immediately

Polecat07 · 19/06/2025 18:12

I wouldn't stay with someone I was arguing with after just three months.
Let alone someone who would say something so vile to me.
You don't do namecalling with people you love and respect. You just don't. Married 8 years, never stooped so low or even been tempted to.
Hope you chuck him where he belongs.

Potatosaladsalsa · 19/06/2025 18:12

I’m also very confused - I’m 125 lbs and have Bs, and mine bounce during sex - if they didn’t they’d be fake, surely?

C080889 · 19/06/2025 18:12

I would reply with - you know whats worse than being a fat cunt? An ugly single cunt who wasnt even good enough for a 'fat cunt' byeeee

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 18:13

@Gyozas no I’m not forgiving him, I’ve blocked his number and on social media. And also ordered a Chinese for tea to cheer myself up. Thank you x

OP posts:
KnottyKnitting · 19/06/2025 18:13

He has shown you who he is. Believe him and get rid. I wouldn’t even hesitate after 3 years, never mind three months.

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 18:14

@C080889 love this 😂

OP posts:
PassTheLemonDrizzle · 19/06/2025 18:15

That’s a horrible thing for anyone to say especially someone who is supposed to care about you. Please throw this one back. He doesn’t deserve your time or headspace.

OneNewLeader · 19/06/2025 18:15

I think I’d only forgive it, if I was fully prepared for more of the same.

Perhaps reflect on what you love about yourself. Then find someone who can bring more, not less, to your life.

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 18:16

Thank you for all your comments. I know I deserve better and I’ve blocked him on everything now. I’m glad he’s showed his true colours sooner rather than later

OP posts:
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