Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

[sunshineandroses25]

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

No I wouldn’t forgive anyone calling me or anyone else that. You are worthy more than that. 3 months and you should still be in the honeymoon phase.
Thats a really vile thing to say and the whole text message is awful.
Hes only going to get worse

Yes tits do bounce! This man is a complete idiot…, the reasoning here makes me think in a ltr he would blame you for everything. He sounds very unreasonable as well as being an abusive prick.

Get rid right away. It’s so early on that he should be on his absolute best behaviour. The fact that he’s shown this already means that there is far, far worse to come. He didn’t “just” call you a fat cunt in anger, it was together with the tits comment as well. He’s a bully with anger issues and you must get rid for your safety and sanity.

This is called ‘test and apologise’. It’s a classic move from toxic, arsehole men, and we should never, ever let them do this to us a second time. Dump and block!

This is going to sound harsh but if you even contemplate continuing with him then frankly you deserve everything you get. And what you'll get is abuse.

Do not reply to him. Block him. Never engage with him again. He is human trash.

You shouldn’t even have to ask.
Apart from being abusive and disrespectful he also sounds… odd!
Best piece of advice I’ve ever read… never serve them up your pain.
Which means when you meet a man don’t give him the list of all the terrible things exes have done to you.
It doesn’t mean not being yourself, but somebody needs to earn your trust and respect.
This man has zero. The apology means nothing. I have no doubt that within another three months the insult would be followed by a physical assault.

What a horrible man! Vile thing to say to you. Dump asap. Real boobs do bounce! He clearly is just seeing fake ones, probably in porn, that maybe can't move due to the implants. What an idiot. Don't waste any headspace on him 💐

What do you feel in your gut about this? From your OP I think you know he's not worth it.

You've known him three months, he's not even 'exclusive' e.g. he feels complete licence to cheat on you and you are allowing this because of a recent social convention.
You are already having arguments.
He is playing on your insecurities during these arguments.

None of us here know you, but it's fair to say we all know you are worth more than this.

ETA I just saw your update on the context of the argument. This man is a piece of human excrement and very much deserves your distain. Don't go near him again.

Bin

Of course you should split up with him, 100%, this will only escalate. Sounds like a right nasty fucker.

Well he's starting as he means to go on.

Apology accepted. Bye bye.

... started making comments like, "he might as well take what he wants from me as that’s what I think of him anyway."

Yeah, that's a "run like hell" warning, that his mind even goes there, let alone that he actually SAYS it!!!

I told him he was being a dick mocking me, which prompted him to respond, "it’s not normal for your tits to bounce during sex, you fat cunt."

Has he not had sex with any other women? Not mocking him if he hasn't but he shouldn't make comments about things he has no knowledge at all about.

... and blocked me.

He doesn't really sound mature enough to be in a relationship. Also (completely separately, not trying to excuse this bozo at all) if this convo was happening over some kind of text, SM, etc - it's probably a good idea in the future to cut this kind of stuff short and discuss it face to face when possible.

He's your boyfriend or a casual date not a partner after 3 months.

I'd not forgive a man after 3 days, 3 weeks or 30 years.

I've not read all the responses but it's concerning you have to ask.
It suggests you have a bit of a blur with boundaries .

If this is happening all the time with your dates, you should be seeking some therapy to help you a) avoid dick heads and b) improve your self-worth.

You clearly pick men who see you as a target for their abusiveness.

I have done in the past, to my sincere regret every time. NOT A CHANCE id tolerate this again, never, Get rid

Don’t forgive him as it’s such a horrible thing to say.
After 30 years of been with my partner who has never criticised my appearance he was going to leave me after I found out about a daytime date he had with someone else. Instead of been sorry when I questioned him he said he wasn’t attracted to me and said some other stuff which basically implied he didn’t find me attractive anymore and didn’t want to be together.
We stayed together in the end but there is not a day that goes by without me remembering those comments. This was from someone who was supposed to be my best friend and soulmate.
Don’t stay with him as you have only been together three months and if he can say those things that early in your relationship what will he be saying when you have been together as long as we have.
My story is longer than this but his treatment of me at that time was apalling. It was like someone I didn’t know and it changed me as a person. I don’t trust anyone now and it broke me.

I think the question for me is WHY you have so little self respect that you'd consider getting past this and continuing to date this man

Of course this is what he thinks of you

Why on earth would this man be part of your life after this?

You need to spend money on a therapist to help you to build your self esteem and belief

Absolutely not. Run a mile. 3 months in you’ve got nothing to lose….and if this is the level of disagreement you’re already having it’s only going to get worse. Don’t wait for the next time.

The worrying part is that your initial reaction wasn’t to dump this loser, but to ask if you can forgive this. You are in no way ready for a relationship op. Someone with healthy boundaries would actually haven’t even given this guy a second date because it’s people like him who are just a dead giveaway. He’s only 3 months in and could hide his colors, I’m certain there were big flags from day 1 too.

What a shit, at least you've seen his true colours before you're too invested, nasty piece of work. Find a man who delights in your bouncing tits op.

3 months into a relationship should be Hearts, Flowers and Rainbows.
Not arguments and vicious name calling.

Defo block him - major red flag! Who knows what kind of sex he's been having if there are no bouncing tits - I'm pretty sure men like that

You should also stop discussing the previous crap men you've dated with new men.

All that shows them is you attract losers and bullies.

If you are unhappy yourself with your weight, do something about it.
There's plenty of support here on various forums or in real life.

At 3 months in?! Absolutely not! Well at any point really but at 3 months I'd be running so fast.

Fuck that shit, vile specimen.
Me and my husband have had some humdinger rows over our many years together but never has he called me that or me him. There would be no going back.

If my husband of thirty years did that...not that he would....I would work through with him what made him take his life in his hands in such a way.....or maybe that should be putting his life in my hands! Three months is an acquaintance!