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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

526 replies

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 15:57

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

OP posts:
Flamingoknees · 19/06/2025 17:30

He must be the only man in the world, who doesn't appreciate bouncing boobs. He'll be easily replaced.
Your life will be miserable if you continue with this abusive excuse for a man.
Edit - straight man

DollieBantrysPantry · 19/06/2025 17:30

Bin him and block him

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 19/06/2025 17:31

3 months in? Nope.

DemelzaandRoss · 19/06/2025 17:32

No, no & no again.
Horrible individual.
No.

skyeisthelimit · 19/06/2025 17:33

Not acceptable after 3 years never mind 3 months. He isn't your partner , he is a bloke you have been seeing for a few months, and a nasty one at that.

Block him and don't engage with him again. He has shown you his true colours.

Burntlemon · 19/06/2025 17:33

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 16:54

Thank you all for responding.

We found ourselves in a disagreement when I asked him whether he was seeking a sexual relationship (we have previously been intimate, but he recently made several comments that implied he was only interested in fun). He became quite annoyed with me and said that he had already told me he wanted a relationship, accusing me of not believing or trusting him. He said I accused him instead of simply asking, and started making comments like, "he might as well take what he wants from me as that’s what I think of him anyway." I told him he was being a dick mocking me, which prompted him to respond, "it’s not normal for your tits to bounce during sex, you fat cunt." and blocked me.

I feel like a mug.

What a low life.
Its really sad that you have to ask OP.
What a truly shocking thing to say.
I really hope you block him.

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk please do this.

SimplyReadHead · 19/06/2025 17:34

Tits bouncing during sex is the best bit!!

stargazer2012 · 19/06/2025 17:34

Think of this as a near miss and end it. That is a vile thing to say.

PickAChew · 19/06/2025 17:34

No way. It's 3 months and this is supposed to be him loved up and on his best behaviour so even less than no way.

Namechangerage · 19/06/2025 17:34

Why do you mention partner/ spouse? You’ve been dating the bloke 3 months?

But no. Not acceptable however long you’re together. I’d just block this one and move on, no further explanation.

Motheroffive999 · 19/06/2025 17:35

Absolutely not , I would never have anything to do with him again.
Emotional abuse

ThatLilacTiger · 19/06/2025 17:35

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 16:54

Thank you all for responding.

We found ourselves in a disagreement when I asked him whether he was seeking a sexual relationship (we have previously been intimate, but he recently made several comments that implied he was only interested in fun). He became quite annoyed with me and said that he had already told me he wanted a relationship, accusing me of not believing or trusting him. He said I accused him instead of simply asking, and started making comments like, "he might as well take what he wants from me as that’s what I think of him anyway." I told him he was being a dick mocking me, which prompted him to respond, "it’s not normal for your tits to bounce during sex, you fat cunt." and blocked me.

I feel like a mug.

You need to seek therapy immediately for questioning whether you should accept him speaking to you in this way. That's what's abnormal.

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 17:36

@Namechangerage sorry, I didn’t mean to mislead people, I just wasn’t sure how to word the title. I understand he’s not my partner / spouse

OP posts:
tartyflette · 19/06/2025 17:37

It's really completely normal for natural tits to bounce during sex (and at other times).
Unless you're just laying there like a statue, of course.
If that is his expectation it says a great deal about his previous 'experiences' with women.
Dump and keep dumped.

HunnyPot · 19/06/2025 17:37

If he’s calling you that after 3 months I dread to think what he would do in 3 years.

Block him and move on to something better Flowers

waitingforthehallmarkedman · 19/06/2025 17:38

My ex called me that once and 12 years on I can still remember how devastating it was. If this is 3 months in then God knows what you'd get long term.
Get rid.

Katkins17 · 19/06/2025 17:39

If he thinks it’s okay to call you this after 3 months…..how the feck is he gonna be talking to you after 3 years???

from my own experience…please value yourself for the amazing woman you are, and say Adios to this vile human…. It won’t get any better sweetheart x x

5128gap · 19/06/2025 17:39

I think a better question would be "would you go on to form a relationship with a man who called you that after knowing you three months? When you barely know each other, have no shared history to give context, and no ties to keep you together? Would you ignore a massive red flag for an abusive, aggressive man who plays on your insecurities?" I think you'd find the Noes would have had it.

AnonAnonmystery · 19/06/2025 17:39

Wow it’s only been 3 months. I’ve been with my partner nearly 6 years. Never during and argument has either of us called each other a horrible name. It’s a big red flag warning you of things to come. Don’t let this slide …

MatildaTheCat · 19/06/2025 17:40

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 19/06/2025 17:19

PS whilst this is not the point, he plainly hasn't done the deed with anyone else if he thinks that it's not normal for breasts to bounce during sex

Yep, I’m betting his sexual experience is very largely made up on his laptop/ phone, plastic breasts and his big hairy hand.

Please say you have blocked him and deleted his details.

MrsAga · 19/06/2025 17:40

Just in case you haven’t got the general consensus…. Hell no! Block, run, never look back.

Sunbeam01 · 19/06/2025 17:40

Vile.

Block him. Do not give him a second thought.

Hecatoncheires · 19/06/2025 17:41

You've had a lucky escape, OP, if he's blocked you. I'm with the people who are querying why you would have to ask if this is acceptable. Please try to value yourself more. And of course tits bounce during sex!

movintothecountry · 19/06/2025 17:42

The hills are that way ➡️ Run!

PumpkinSparkleFairy · 19/06/2025 17:42

He’s shown you who he really is I’m afraid. Not a nice person.

Lucky it was only 3 months in, in a way - while it’s horrible for you, at least you’re not super invested yet and can get rid of him!

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