Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

[sunshineandroses25]

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

no way

This happened to me with my ex. It was 4 months in over the Easter weekend. It only got worse and it led to him hitting me and grabbing me by my hair several times. Run now. Trust me it will only get worse. This is the honeymoon phase where you’re meant to be on your best behaviour. I’d hate to see him at his worst if this is his best. Please go.

Jesus! Run and don't look back! How dare he!

I'm delighted to read that you have binned this specimen off. The abuse would only have got worse. I would.put good money on the fact that you actually look lovely. Bullet dodged!

Not a chance! Run for the hills!

Absolutely no way. Are you crazy? You've been with him three months and he's calling you names and blocking you.

No. I couldn't.

My ex fiancé said something similar to me (before we got engaged). 20 years later and I still remember how humiliated I felt - it was in front of all his friends too who looked at me pityingly. I should have dumped him on the spot instead of two years later 🙄

Never again will I tolerate being put down like that.

This isn't your partner or spouse either, this is a boyfriend who is at the point where he should still be trying to impress you. This is him at his best. Be warned.

If it was 3 years in he’d be dumped, what a vile thing to say. Get rid before this becomes a pattern.

3 months? No.

You dodged a bullet there, he sounds horrible and abusive, lucky you found out sooner rather than later. Sending hugs.

Well done Op. He has shown you who he is and what he thinks about you. You’re much better off without him.

The fact he was so comfortable to do this 3 months in makes it kind of worse. Men put their best foot forwards in the first few months If this is his best imagine how he’s going to be like later.

My ex called me a pig because I ate all my takeaway rice I left him after this, so no I couldn’t and you’re months in your relationship

Come on girlfriend. If he's calling you something like that after just 3 months then he doesn't respect you. It would be bad enough after years together.

Absolutely not

Get rid

Life hack - don't tell new partners until at least 2 years your insecurities / low confidence / previous poor treatment from partners. Otherwise they think the bar is low and can get away with treating you shit

Good for you. What an arse

I agree especially about not disclosing poor treatment from exes.

I don’t go into detail but if asked I kind of hint at the idea my exes were decent guys just not for me lol

I may bring up one arsehole from my teens/early 20s to make it more plausible , but I act as if all the ones since then have been good.

Unfortunately a lot of men take info on past treatment and use it against you. Their attitude seems to be well you let A,B and C treat you like that so why should I treat you any better? It also tells them that is what you will tolerate and what they can get away with.

Dump him. Absolutely no way I’d stay with a guy who verbally abuses me - especially only 3 months in when you should be in the “honeymoon” phase!
throw him back!!

OP he has shown you loud and clear how he feels you should be treated, and when someone shows you, believe it. Whatever you say from now on will NOT change his outlook on you or any woman for that matter. He clearly has issues and you are not looking for a project, and next time a man decides to insult you, dont own it, discard of the comments and throw them back with silence, your time is precious so use it wisely on people who value you, not some pricks who have been around you for 90 days or so. Common now.

Obviously wanker, well done for binning off.

I'm sure it was a horrible experience but Jesus H Christ, I'd have struggled to keep a straight face at that comment. It's not normal for tits to bounce during sex... Um... How bad is this man at sex that all of his partners are so stock still that their boobs don't move.

3 months in its fat cunt. 6 months in its other nasty comments and then snide comments 1 year in it starts with pulling your hair testing the waters see name calling will she continue with me knowing I called her a fat cunt. Then after the hair pulling comes the punches the rib digs the exclusion from friends and family then after he's got u were he wants u it could lead to worse. I've been there. Leave!! It's 3 months in just be glad you found out now and not 1 year down the line

This guy showed just what he's capable of! You deserve better so get on with your life - without him - and the right, respectable, man will come along. Bless you!

This can only be the start of things to come... get rid immediately. What an absolutely disgusting thing to say and sorry you had to be subjected to such degrading remarks. You're worth much more than that. Take care x

Bin. Abusive language so early on (or ever) is a massive red flag.