So last night was interesting.
He 'spoke' to me, in that he shouted at the telly in my presence, which is more than he's done in 5 weeks 😅
Here's the thing though, we suddenly started talking, but he didn't mention being particularly upset at me leaving on Saturday. Instead, he said to me "this is such bad timing". I can't remember whether I told you, but he already mentioned this to me back in June when we had that brief conversation where he got nasty - because he is being made redundant, it will be hard for him to rent a flat as he won't be able to show pay slips.
Obviously because I'm trying to avoid any drama/trauma, I had to just kind of nod and make sympathetic sounds. But in my head I was thinking - but you knew this a month ago, so why didn't you spring into action then, like I did it? Even now: he would still have the past three months' pay slips? I thought fucking hell, I managed to sort myself out FROM ABROAD and with a cat and Channel crossing to consider, and you think this is complicated for you?
I've always been the lead tenant, up until this place we live in, where I basically forced him to find the house and be the lead as I was sick of always being responsible for it. So as you know, he handed the notice in late, which takes him up to the start of September. In other places we've lived in, I've always told the landlord we will of course respect the notice period, but happy to move out earlier if new tenants want the property sooner. He always makes such bad decisions: this is a good sized house with a garden next to a school - a family would presumably want to move in ASAP, not late August/September. So get your fucking finger out then?!
Then he was like "....so what am I supposed to do? Move in with my mother, at 43?". Firstly, I was thinking: "well....yes?!" If I were moving local to my mum, it would be a no-brainer. That's what people do sometimes, when they're going through a complicated patch. What's the big deal? Secondly, I thought: I mean, she is your life priority apparently, and she self-describes as 'the most important woman in his life', so I would have thought this would be lovely for the two of you? 😂
And finally, I thought: Jesus Christ, so this is what's upsetting you right now? As you guys here on MN know, the practicalities of my living situation have been fairly inconsequential - I just took the first thing that fit my requirements, I'm giving up a load of my stuff and shelling out for a big move, and of course it's been something to think about, but I've just gone through the motions and dealt with it, the main thing taking up my headspace has been the loss of the relationship and managing his reactions.
I can't believe what's tormenting him right now is how he's going to manage moving ten minutes down the road where he has a massive community to help him find solutions, and a woman who will be paying double rent to facilitate the fact that he won't vacate earlier than the notice period.
Sorry for the loooong wall of text, but I want a record of all this for when the memories start to fade and I want to remind myself.