Argh! DD caught me with FWB in the house

[Lionesseses]

Long story short, my DD(15) came home unexpectedly from school earlier, and arrived home to find me in the house with my ‘friend’. She knows him vaguely as he’s the dad of a school friend of hers (we’re both single parents, and that’s how we met originally).

She didn’t catch us at it, thank God. But we were both upstairs (we had just had sex, and had got dressed again). I was all easy breezy about it saying ‘Oh, Andy is here! We weren’t expecting you home!’ But I was embarrassed and massively thankful she hadn’t been ten minutes earlier!

Then he left and she was asking why he was here, are we seeing each other etc. She doesn’t know that we’ve had this arrangement for a couple of years now, completely physical, friendly on the rare occasions we see each other otherwise but with no intention of becoming a proper couple.

I don’t want to explain our relationship to her because it’s not really her business and it’s not the kind of concept I’d want her thinking of (especially not in the context of me!). Am I right to do that…?

And I worry it might have spoiled things now cos my DD will tell her mate, and it might lead to embarrassment all round. Argh! Annoying.

Any thoughts? I guess I’m hoping it blows over.

Something to look forward to I suppose 😂

To those people talking about ‘not bringing a man into the family home’. Are you mad? Would you prefer we went to the local Premier Inn?

Or just lock the door so your kids can't walk in on you

Ha! I wish. All done in 90 mins normally and that includes preliminaries, a coffee and a shower each!

Well no because the issue wasn’t that my DD (nearly) caught us, but that I’d had the temerity to bring a male into the sacred family space.

No. I really don’t. @Gloriia needs to keep her nasty judgemental replies away from my jokey post about my pretty grim (ha) situation.

And I’m not the only person who has pulled her on it.

Yep, don't give any thought t what the pearl clutchers think!!

im sorry to hear you were widowed 🌹

…Because there’s a possibly of her walking in on it

Yours is.

But the former only happened because of the latter. When you have teens, you have to be a bit more aware about stuff like that.

Have whatever sex you want, but have the common sense to be aware that you have a 15 year old so if you're going to fuck her mates' dad, you may want to be a little more discreet about it, that's all.

This thread is amazing.

@Lionesseses You sound fab, and I'm sure you'll be able to have a very sensible conversation with your DD if needed.

Nailed it

Couldn't you go round to his place if he's single.

Unless of course he has full custody of his child or he is a widow.

It can be difficult for a 15 yo to understand the concept of casual sex. If she was completely unaware of your “fwb” arrangement before, then she’s finding out about it for the first time and might be a bit shocked. Under normal circumstances you don’t need to explain anything but since she now knows, I think you do.
How do you think kids form their opinions and feelings about sex? They don’t get downloaded in to them when they turn thirteen. They form gradually over the years in part from the impressions they get from those around them. They may also be different to yours. For all you know your daughter could end up thinking there is something wrong with having casual sex because of that time she came home to find her mum clearly having just slept with her friends dad. You can’t assume she’s all clued in and laid back about this sort of stuff. She’s fifteen.

And time to kick back and start a mumsnet thread!

This. Discretion, common sense and locked doors, it ain't rocket science.

Your thread title then… exaggerating?

@Lionesseses

you're a disgrace l!

imagine having such a healthy attitude to sex & not teaching your DD it is only be endured after marriage.

😂

Especially when school around the corner and it’s GCSE!

Yes, I think we have got your opinion after 18 posts.

Both my dds at 15 would absolutely have known we were sleeping together. Just say to her we were just catching up as friends but we won't ever be in a relationship or anything. Shel know what you mean without having to say it.

Oooh I’ll count

@Lionesseses ignore all the judgement. I honestly love that despite your situation you are still getting some fun and affection. Not everything has to be a serious relationship!

Urgh, I can see why that would have been embarrassing and I'm sure your DD is mortified if she's considering the possibility that her mum is having it off with her friend's dad (or actually, she might just find it funny. Hard to tell with teens). To be honest if she's 15 I'm sure she'll work it out and I'd probably just say that you are friends and seeing each other very casually.

That said, I am probably over-romanticising this but is there no way it could become more serious, if he's fun and lovely and this is an enduring arrangement?!... or is there another spanner in the works?

9

and only one pointing out that the hyperbolic thread states DD caught them

now “nearly caught”

I suspect it’s just the Op attention seeking with the title

And since you edited, I’ll expand - I wasn’t agreeing with @Gloriia, because she extrapolated that if I was “fine with casual sex” - (because that would be a bad thing?) - then I shouldn’t be surprised or upset if my children grew up to follow in my footsteps.

Which is just a passive aggressive way of saying, “if you’re happy to be a slut, you can’t complain if your children grow up to be sluts too, just like mommy”.

So no, I don’t agree with her, and I don’t need to calm down at all, because I’m perfectly calm. I just won’t be spoken to like shit by some random with outdated ideas about women having sex. It’s pure misogyny.