Argh! DD caught me with FWB in the house

[Lionesseses]

Long story short, my DD(15) came home unexpectedly from school earlier, and arrived home to find me in the house with my ‘friend’. She knows him vaguely as he’s the dad of a school friend of hers (we’re both single parents, and that’s how we met originally).

She didn’t catch us at it, thank God. But we were both upstairs (we had just had sex, and had got dressed again). I was all easy breezy about it saying ‘Oh, Andy is here! We weren’t expecting you home!’ But I was embarrassed and massively thankful she hadn’t been ten minutes earlier!

Then he left and she was asking why he was here, are we seeing each other etc. She doesn’t know that we’ve had this arrangement for a couple of years now, completely physical, friendly on the rare occasions we see each other otherwise but with no intention of becoming a proper couple.

I don’t want to explain our relationship to her because it’s not really her business and it’s not the kind of concept I’d want her thinking of (especially not in the context of me!). Am I right to do that…?

And I worry it might have spoiled things now cos my DD will tell her mate, and it might lead to embarrassment all round. Argh! Annoying.

Any thoughts? I guess I’m hoping it blows over.

Your daughter is probably too mortified to say anything to you. She'll probably mention it to friends though and the whole school will know in a few days including his children. 🫣 Are you 100% certain he isn't in a relationship?

Pathetic

@LosingSleeping - certainly a FWB can be clinical occasionally but, in my experience, most have led to a very open, honest relationship with real feelings - just not the ‘conventional’ view of relationships. I just don’t want to be in a full time relationship - done that for over 35 years

Just want to say bravo @Lionesseses ignore the repressed haters, sounds like a tip top arrangement to me. As far as your daughter is concerned, I’d be economical with the truth because teenagers can be even more judgmental and overly dramatic than MN. They are also incapable of keeping secrets, the things I know about some parents in DS’ peer group would make your bit of tiffin sound like tea with the vicar.

I agree! All that wanton consensual writhing sex with tea afterwards it’s shameful. I hope that it isn’t contagious. I recommend a priest or shamen to perform an exorcism

It’s not pearl clutching. Bringing some random mucky dad into the house when teenagers are milling about is just not done.

I doubt she wil tell her friend but she may confide in another.

This has the capacity to spread.

Would you be ok with that op.

Random Mucky dad🤣🤣🤣🤣

Agree! I prefer a non random mucky dad, any ole day

Pretty sure OP said her daughter asked if they were seeing each other ... But don't know what OP's response was, presumably "no" based on subsequent posts??

Fantastic, meanwhile your teenage daughter was 5 minutes from seeing her friend’s dad boshing you in the living room where she watches telly. Seems like you have everything in hand so I’ll
leave you to it.

Do you actually read the thread before posting twollox?

No living rooms were harmed in the scenario

“Leave you to it”
if only.

Everything in hand, o’er a double entendres ?I definitely think everything was in hands🍆

Good for you both you seem happy and nothing wrong with rumpy pumpy during the day just tell daughter he was fixing a leaking tap 😉 happy days 😊 xxx

@TigerMum8

are you drunk?!

@TigerMum8

they weren’t having sex in the living room

Don't use mental health slurs - that reflects poorly on you. Really poorly. Don't call people insane. There's no need. I've lost two people to suicide over mental health - don't throw out slurs just because you aren't happy that people have called you out for being a liar and prioritising cock over your daughter.

Your attitude is great! Ignore the haters. Prob jealous. Just stick to your story. She won’t want to think of her mum
shagging so will be glad to believe it. Stick to it whatever.

I'm not tearing anyone down just pointing out the very obvious that if you're having a fuck buddy round you lock doors and exercise a bit of caution. Hun .

I was going to ask this. I think it sounds the perfect solution to keeping your house and lifestyle separate but still enjoying a comforting relationship with someone who you share a lot in common with!

The comment about about getting him DBS checked actually made me spit my tea out 😀

Oooo I've never boshed😭

Is it something I should try at 68?

Does it have to be done in the living room?

I thought I had quite the experienced past but obviously not😭

The lovely lady you upset last night wouldnt agree with you. So I tend to think it's a bit of a hobby with you.

Why not try some boshing in the living room.....might make you stop repeating yourself over and over like a polly parrot

Go away and grow up. Stop lying to your daughter - there is no need. Tell her the truth - but you won't. Because you are shagging her daughters dad. Seriously. I hope the seedy sex you are having is worth lying to your daughter over. You made him a brew - who cares. Go on - tell her. And get Andy to tell his daughter at the same time. See how it goes.

Bless you. You've woken the ever-wakeful beast of MN Official Disapproval Of Sexual Pleasure When You Are A Mother, I see : )

And a single mother at that omg and how come you are not in a miserable marriage? What did you do? How did you fail???

...

You are super responsible and fair as far as I can see.
You actually haven't wheeled some bloke into the kitchen and made your DD get on with it. You haven't risked introducing a new life partner. You've been utterly discreet and imo pretty selfless.

It's not just ok for you to have a guy for regular sex, a guy you trust, know, like, it's actually totally your right. You are v sensible to have him because women who have nice regular sex actually live longer and are happier and healthier.

You are not a slapper or promiscuous. You have one sexual partner and have had him for 2 years.

You are literally a model mother and I for one will say well done, this is good, you know it is, have the courage of your convictions.

As for DD, you need to cover this up. Maybe the guy is literally going to have to come round with his toolkit fully in view of DD and act our tinkering underneath the basin, to put her off the trail.

Then keep it v quiet in future. Be even more careful. Because she doesn't need to deal with thinking about that private aspect of your life, and defo not with a friend's dad. Fair enough. But that doesn't make it wrong. It's actually v good. But it is just as you rightly feel not for her info.

OP, take no notice of the mudslingers. They don't get it.