Argh! DD caught me with FWB in the house

[Lionesseses]

Long story short, my DD(15) came home unexpectedly from school earlier, and arrived home to find me in the house with my ‘friend’. She knows him vaguely as he’s the dad of a school friend of hers (we’re both single parents, and that’s how we met originally).

She didn’t catch us at it, thank God. But we were both upstairs (we had just had sex, and had got dressed again). I was all easy breezy about it saying ‘Oh, Andy is here! We weren’t expecting you home!’ But I was embarrassed and massively thankful she hadn’t been ten minutes earlier!

Then he left and she was asking why he was here, are we seeing each other etc. She doesn’t know that we’ve had this arrangement for a couple of years now, completely physical, friendly on the rare occasions we see each other otherwise but with no intention of becoming a proper couple.

I don’t want to explain our relationship to her because it’s not really her business and it’s not the kind of concept I’d want her thinking of (especially not in the context of me!). Am I right to do that…?

And I worry it might have spoiled things now cos my DD will tell her mate, and it might lead to embarrassment all round. Argh! Annoying.

Any thoughts? I guess I’m hoping it blows over.

The only difference is the sexist attitudes some people have.

Not all women are the same. According to your description, I'm a man.

No standards left in UK society… what a line 🤣🤣

Now let’s get onto religion shall we….

We’ll start with catholic priests.

I couldn't agree more 👏

We should be teaching our daughters that sex is special and should be saved for a loving relationship. I don't give a shit if that sounds old fashioned.

The GCSEs are on now-if she's 15, she could be in Yr 11, or Yr 10. But then, I guess OP would have known if her daughter was doing GCSEs, so she'd have known when she might be home.
Posting this just in case anyone is worried about their kid being let out-school should always let parents know, even if they're 15, as some children might have additional needs, so the parents might need to arrange childcare for INSET days or if they're let out unexpectedly, say if there's a major issue at the school. They should give timetables and notifications in advance, unless there's an emergency.

I hate to let the cat out of the bag but my hunch is that most teens are not having sex within the confines of a loving relationship! I don’t think at 16 most teens would understand what a loving relationship would even mean- it’s all hormones and curiosity at that age! I don’t think most would be willing to wait until their mid twenties to start having sex

I did tag you earlier but just for clarity, I’ve recognised that we cannot find a common level on which we can converse.
I don’t think it’s helpful or fruitful to continue to try.

I hope that read as politely as I meant it.

Erm... Islam ... I'll start with terrorist's should I ? No. Exactly. Your line is identical to mine.

@Praying4Peace given the state of the world you might have more success praying for a life. Failing that, for the giant stick to be removed from your arse and the pious cat bum mouth to be loosened.

Oh so “not all catholic priests sexually abused young boys/girls” and the catholic church didn’t cover it up?

So I can’t mention it?

I can and I will!

Hence you teach them about the tricks that hormones play in making you want to have sex. A fumble around is different to consciously making the choice to engage in having sex with different boys, ones of which aren't even your boyfriend.

You can’t acknowledge it didn’t happen?

Christ, the priggishness by some on this thread.

Two consenting single adults in regular easygoing sexual relationship horror, oh no, what is the world coming to! Mothers being allowed to have and enjoy SEX, people in their 40s actually sleeping with each other, aren't they meant to be married or totally celibate?

Get a grip. Seriously. Get a grip. This isn't the 1890s. Learning that your parents are still sexual beings, however naturally yuck that is for the average teenager (including when it's your own married parents), is a part of life that most of us grown ups have learned to cope with. It's not a moral outrage of any kind. Grow up.

Ok... So not all Muslims go round terrorising - but some did, so which argument is making most sense to us here ? I think they call that whatabouttery?

I can’t find a way to connect our lines of thinking. And I have a feeling that you’re going to start to become even more hostile and start using insults.

I just don’t want to participate with you anymore 😊

Fine, then stop?

No one is forcing you too.

Just because someone is your boyfriend doesn’t mean you are in love with them…

honestly this thread has taken a very odd turn!

And I don't give a shit that you are so tiny-minded that you are unable to cope with the concept that two consenting adults having a regular sexual relationship that is not marriage but that sounds as if it based on friendship, mutual need and desire and not at all disrespectful, without having conniptions about her daughter being "corrupted." Pathetic stuff.

I do.

Sex is fun and doesn't always have to be in the confines of a loving relationship. My DC's will be advised to wait until at least 16 because of the law and consent will be drilled into them.

I certainly won't be teaching my daughters that sex is something 'special' that you give to a man. Yuck.

You obviously have a very open and relaxed attitude to sex OP.

And you obviously would like your DD to grow up.similarly relaxed and open.

So what I don't understand is why you felt the need to start this thread and share the story of what happened.

I would have thought that your DD coming home unexpectedly, especially as she didn't catch you in flagrante wouldn't have phased you at all and it was quite within your capability to deal with appropriately.

Because she doesn’t otherwise she would have told her daughter

Why are so many posters against this? Ignore them OP! They’re probably just jealous as they’ve not had a good shag in years! You’re both single and not doing any harm! Why do people get so weird about a woman taking control of her own sex life!
it’s a bit embarrassing to nearly get caught, but just say he’s a friend (not a lie) whose offered to help with some decorating or something xxx enjoy!

Why are so many posters against this? Ignore them OP! They’re probably just jealous as they’ve not had a good shag in years! You’re both single and not doing any harm! Why do people get so weird about a woman taking control of her own sex life!
it’s a bit embarrassing to nearly get caught, but just say he’s a friend (not a lie) whose offered to help with some decorating or something xxx enjoy!

Why are so many posters against this? Ignore them OP! They’re probably just jealous as they’ve not had a good shag in years! You’re both single and not doing any harm! Why do people get so weird about a woman taking control of her own sex life!
it’s a bit embarrassing to nearly get caught, but just say he’s a friend (not a lie) whose offered to help with some decorating or something xxx enjoy!

Did someone leave the gate open at the high horse farm again?

I know if I had to get my jollies on a Monday, a casual, uncomplicated shag with a nice funny, man would be preferable to moralising gymnastics whilst sucking a lemon.

I’m all for telling legal age teens and young women that sex can be fun and pleasurable and doesn’t need to always be within the confines of a relationship if it means more women leave when the sex is awful, because they’ve been taught that once they’ve shagged some nipple twiddle and two pumps merchant once, they are stuck with them for life.

That kind of experience could turn someone so bitter they’d spend their days getting off on the fumes of policing other adults having consensual fun. Imagine.

You brought religion and the alleged positive effects it had on sex into this!

I’m pointing out that many catholic priest abused children whilst preaching that sex should be within the confines of marriage etc. and judging women particularly, if that was not the case.

But you carry on clutching at irrelevant straws.