Argh! DD caught me with FWB in the house

[Lionesseses]

Long story short, my DD(15) came home unexpectedly from school earlier, and arrived home to find me in the house with my ‘friend’. She knows him vaguely as he’s the dad of a school friend of hers (we’re both single parents, and that’s how we met originally).

She didn’t catch us at it, thank God. But we were both upstairs (we had just had sex, and had got dressed again). I was all easy breezy about it saying ‘Oh, Andy is here! We weren’t expecting you home!’ But I was embarrassed and massively thankful she hadn’t been ten minutes earlier!

Then he left and she was asking why he was here, are we seeing each other etc. She doesn’t know that we’ve had this arrangement for a couple of years now, completely physical, friendly on the rare occasions we see each other otherwise but with no intention of becoming a proper couple.

I don’t want to explain our relationship to her because it’s not really her business and it’s not the kind of concept I’d want her thinking of (especially not in the context of me!). Am I right to do that…?

And I worry it might have spoiled things now cos my DD will tell her mate, and it might lead to embarrassment all round. Argh! Annoying.

Any thoughts? I guess I’m hoping it blows over.

On the contrary, it's GREAT role modelling, especially as the mum of a girl, to demonstrate that you can have a power-balanced, healthy sexual relationship with someone without rushing off to the registry office.

RIGHT?!?

Mondays are miserable. Oh I could only dream of a mid Monday afternoon shag. What a delight.

No advice OP but jsut a hand clap really

It wasn’t avoided.
She missed because she arrived 10 minutes after. It was a coincidence.

OP didn’t go to any lengths to “avoid” it.

The acronym FWB draws the pearl clutchers in like moths to a flame

I swear we'd all be handmaids if it were up to some of this lot, the Jezebels that we are

Just tell her if she asks that you're friends (you are, thats the friends in FWB) and that you aren't seeing eachother and have no intention of becoming a couple (also true).

If she asks specifically about sex, at 15 I'd say just tell her. It's a lesson, and you've done nothing wrong. I assume you've already had conversations with her about consent and safe sex. It's perfectly reasonable to explain to her that's a way you have safe sex. It's same person, you know him well, you trust eachother, you're safe, you're both on exactly the same page about it and no one leading anyone on. It's emotionally and physically healthy.

I think it’s more likely that the women professing to be jealous and applauding the OP are the sex starved ones.
Not the posters who emphasise the importance of keeping it separate from your children.

HONESTLY the judgement is so boring. If this was a man the replies would be so different.

Nothing wrong with displaying a healthy consensual attitude to sex.

I would probably explain it away as a plumbing or electric issue you needed help with and leave it at that because young girls can get embarrassed about this stuff but you did nothing wrong OP.

Also unrelated but anyone know where I can get a uhh plummer to help me out on a Monday afternoon?

Of course she did.

It's not like they decided to shag at 3pm and shrugged because they knew DD was on her way back with not a care in the world.

She was at school and came home earlier than expected. They have likely shagged a million times over the last 2 years when she was at school with no issues.

And yet, she was 10 minutes away from her daughter witnessing her having casual sex with her friend’s dad…

How can you not see how traumatic this would be for her daughter?

Exactly this. We plan our meetings specifically for when DCs aren’t around. We even take time off work. On more than one occasion we’ve had to cancel on the day due to ill kids. On this one occasion there was an unexpected complication.

I think traumatic is taking it a bit far 😂

But it didn't happen.

No-one has to run off to a registry office.

Have sex with whomever you like, Dad down the street whatever, just lock your door and think of your dc coming across a random man in your house. Same way you wouldn't want to bump into their hook ups on the landing, it isn't great role modelling in the slightest.

Which happens.

Being married to the guy you're shagging doesn't make you immune from it either.

Just tell your dd the truth, OP. No big deal.

I take it you have no experience working in or qualifications in therapy.

Jesus

By the sounds of some posters they're the ones shaking and crying at an unexpected knock at the door.

Talk about catastrophising 🤣

So why is OP shaken enough to make a thread about it?

Exactly. Either lock your door, leave the key in or deal with teens and a man in your house.

Omg some of the comments!!
How very DARE you enjoy an intimate relationship with someone you know and like!!!!
I will be sending you a chastity belt post haste, get that on your fufu straight away and don’t you dare take it off until your daughter is safely ensconced in a nunnery!
(You sound fabulous btw)

OP is already laughing about it with FWB. Doesn't sound that shaken to me.

Not at all!

I think you haven’t either!

😂😂😂

No, but if I'd known finding out parents have sex was so traumatic the kids need lifelong therapy afterwards maybe I would have. But then again most of the adults I know (myself included) have either heard or walked in on a parent having sex with someone before and yet none of them are traumatised or are in therapy over it.

P.S. Your conception was unlikely immacualate, and if you have any siblings, I'm afraid that means your parents having sex wasn't a one time thing. I hope some day you recover from this trauma.

Thank you so much. Could you also send me some heavy duty hand sanitiser and a thick pair of gloves cos I touched a man’s willy?
Actually no, just chop them off. I deserve nothing less.