Argh! DD caught me with FWB in the house

[Lionesseses]

Long story short, my DD(15) came home unexpectedly from school earlier, and arrived home to find me in the house with my ‘friend’. She knows him vaguely as he’s the dad of a school friend of hers (we’re both single parents, and that’s how we met originally).

She didn’t catch us at it, thank God. But we were both upstairs (we had just had sex, and had got dressed again). I was all easy breezy about it saying ‘Oh, Andy is here! We weren’t expecting you home!’ But I was embarrassed and massively thankful she hadn’t been ten minutes earlier!

Then he left and she was asking why he was here, are we seeing each other etc. She doesn’t know that we’ve had this arrangement for a couple of years now, completely physical, friendly on the rare occasions we see each other otherwise but with no intention of becoming a proper couple.

I don’t want to explain our relationship to her because it’s not really her business and it’s not the kind of concept I’d want her thinking of (especially not in the context of me!). Am I right to do that…?

And I worry it might have spoiled things now cos my DD will tell her mate, and it might lead to embarrassment all round. Argh! Annoying.

Any thoughts? I guess I’m hoping it blows over.

I wouldn’t underestimate how embarrassed your DD might/will be when she realises what’s going on. She probably already knows what’s going on but is too embarrassed to bring it up. By all means crack on and have fun but do think about how you can be as discreet as possible. Teenagers really really don’t want to know about their parents sex life, particularly in your case where it involves another school dad.

Just tell her the truth.

Could you define stranger?

I think it's good role modelling personally.

She is 15, not 5! And there's nothing wrong with two adults having consensual sex. Lucky you for having an arrangement that works for you both, long may it last (if that's what you want).

We are discreet! We have probably had sex 30 or 40 times and as far as I know until today she didn’t have a clue.

I know someone who came home early from school and caught her mum in bed with a guy and she & her sister haven’t spoken to the mum since - it’s been over 20 years.
And yeah she was married but the ex-husband is now deceased. Obviously they divorced over the whole thing.

U r missing the point.
Having casual sexual relationships should be strictly off bounds in the vicinity of your children, irrespective of age

.....So not relatable to the OP at all.

Why’s the thread title exaggerating?

It wasn't in the vicinity of her child. Said child was in an exam hall with other candidates doing Biology GCSE.

My son was conceived by casual sex....which at the age of 11 he has worked out through maths.

I will absolutly support and loosely encourage my children to enjoy their lives and sexuality. Don't take relationships to seriously before you have to.

Fine out what you like, don't like.
Find out who you like it with and who you don't like it with.

Nothing wrong with good sex

Huh? Are we reading the same thread?

I have my son’s GCSE exam timetable practically burnt into my brain

You honestly deserve a 🥇!

Why thank you x

Because you are demonstrating that it is OK to have casual sex with someone you are not in a relationship with.
Your daughter is at an impressionable age and casual sexual relationships should be off bounds when it comes to your kids, irrespective of age.
Everyone is allowed sexual relationships of their choosing but not when it impacts on their families

Is that a kiss and me a stranger!

FFS how risqué.

Yes. The poster says the OP shouldn't be having sex in the same vicinity as the child. The child is in yr11. She will have, in all probability, sat GCSE Biology this morning. So nowhere near her Mum and the FWB.

Very worrying indeed

Jealousy coming her way. Jealous of what exactly some random women having a shag on Monday afternoon. Do you think the rest of us are all ugly cunts that can’t get a man or women. __

It's a stressful time... 😭

Tell me about it!

But it is - we should be modelling that casual sex is fine with someone we know and trust and do have a relationship with - even if the cornerstone of that is a casual friendship. They aren’t a stranger they are someone one assumes the OP knows and trusts. That her life doesn’t want or need a serious relationship but that sexual needs don’t disappear when you get older

we had just had sex

dd finished exam, papers collected, spoke with friends, gathered her bits and walked home.