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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Random Message DH Affair Part2

923 replies

basilbush · 01/06/2025 10:41

Hi all

Link to previous thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5344952-random-message-saying-dh-affair?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

TLDR: I got a WhatsApp telling me DH (by name) was having an affair. The ‘proof’ was very suspect and I didn’t believe it. Went through it all with DH who denies it all and the messages turned to some insults.
We believed it was someone with malicious intent.

Im sorry I didn’t start a thread straight away-I didn’t want to start one and then not have the time to keep it up to date as yesterday was really busy. So some progress has been made:
-After being super certain the baby shower wasn’t put online I’ve discounted the woman from work. I’ve also found out that she’s moved back to her home country on the other side of the world so unlikely.
-I know people were unsure why I thought my college friend was the link. Essentially one of the insults I got sent was quite personal and about something I used to be quite insecure of when I was younger (not so much now) and college friend was aware of it.

I was still fairly certain it isn’t FROM her as I just can’t square that off but it seems to be too much of a coincidence that she was at the baby shower, has access to me online and knows about this thing.

We told PIL everything when they dropped kids off yesterday and DH said that he was supposedly with this woman that time I was at the baby shower-they completely backed him up that he was with them the whole time and couldn’t believe someone could be so vindictive. I felt bad we told them as they were quite upset about it all.

Back to college friend. We decided yesterday morning to follow Colleen’s lead and I posted a Facebook status viewable just to her along the lines of ‘absolutely devastated. Nearly 20 years only to be betrayed-anyone know a good solicitor?’ (Note, I would never normally share something so private!!).

We figured if it was her, I’d get a WhatsApp message mocking me or full of smugness. We could see she’d be been online lots through the day but we didn’t get anything from the number.

Then this morning I get a WhatsApp from her (using the number she used in the baby shower group) saying she’d seen my status, was so sorry and wondered if I was around for a catch up as she’s a bit worried about a few things and needs to talk to me.

Ive obviously tried to ask questions but she’s just asked if we could meet. We’ve got a few kids activities this morning but I’m meeting her at 2 for a drink and to see what she has to say.

Sorry, that was really long! And please don’t worry, this hasn’t completely taken over our weekend-we took kids to soft play party, had a nice bbq and this morning are going swimming. But I’m determined to find out what this is all about.

Random message saying DH affair | Mumsnet

Hoping for some advice here Background-been with my DH 19 years, married 13 with two young children (nursery and reception). I would say we have a h...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5344952-random-message-saying-dh-affair?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

OP posts:
WowIlikereallyhateyou · 01/06/2025 14:49

Hope OP is ok

mangonut · 01/06/2025 14:50

This reply has been deleted

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Lucelady · 01/06/2025 14:50

Good luck. I feel the little grey cells working.

GAJLY · 01/06/2025 14:51

I hope you get something out of it today. Be awful to go to such lengths, just for it to fall to nothing.

Bordersrule · 01/06/2025 14:51

Best of luck all rooting for you

marzipaninyourpieplatebingo · 01/06/2025 14:54

How much longer 😂 so invested!!

TesChique · 01/06/2025 14:55

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Ooh do you not think it's real? Interesting, how come?

AgathaX · 01/06/2025 14:55

I hope you get the answers you want. I think you've handled it all brilliantly.

mangonut · 01/06/2025 14:57

TesChique · 01/06/2025 14:55

Ooh do you not think it's real? Interesting, how come?

I’m not saying it’s not. But the writing style and storyline is similar to a couple of other lenghty threads.

purpleygrey · 01/06/2025 14:58

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NotaCoolMum · 01/06/2025 14:58

good luck op!! 💕💕

JessCil · 01/06/2025 14:59

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Jollyhockeystickss · 01/06/2025 14:59

Good for you, id be the same id have to know

Callie247 · 01/06/2025 15:00

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Really? I honestly thought this was genuine 😱

mangonut · 01/06/2025 15:01

This reply has been deleted

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And several others.

cantthinkofausername26 · 01/06/2025 15:03

ahhh noooo is this all made up? I’m gutted!

Mymanyellow · 01/06/2025 15:03

Well I for one hope it’s genuine I’m invested now.

Seahorsesplendour · 01/06/2025 15:04

Hope all ok @basilbush

Kreepture · 01/06/2025 15:04

Reminder, if you don't believe it, fine, but don't troll hunt.

Yes i will report every one who does it, the rules on this are quite clear.

gavesomanysigns · 01/06/2025 15:05

To those doubting, OP has been on MN since 2007 and has a solid posting history.

surreygirl1987 · 01/06/2025 15:07

How weird! Rooting for you, OP - hope you get some answers!

Psychoticbreak · 01/06/2025 15:07

Can we not clog the thread up with troll hunting? Some of us want to read the ops next post.

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 01/06/2025 15:09

Callie247 · 01/06/2025 14:40

This is someone’s real life

Oh come on! This is a modern colloquial expression. You must be such a joy to be around. 😂😂😂 The OP is clearly keeping people engaged intentionally.

333FionaG · 01/06/2025 15:10

BigDeepBreaths · 01/06/2025 14:23

l can’t imagine what the explanation is for all this. The best part has to be that the DH is calmly taking kids to park and encouraging the meet up which I doubt he would be doing if he was indeed having an affair. So very odd.

Unless it’s a double bluff? DH’s OW is very much real and he’s being cool, calm and collected because he’s lying through his teeth.

DoNotIron · 01/06/2025 15:11

Callie247 · 01/06/2025 14:40

This is someone’s real life

The OP has reassured herself that her DH isn’t cheating. She wants to know who has been malicious towards her and why. She has promised an update. I don’t get the impression that devastation is imminent. You can stop wringing your hands.

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