Random Message DH Affair Part2

[basilbush]

Hi all

Link to previous thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5344952-random-message-saying-dh-affair?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

TLDR: I got a WhatsApp telling me DH (by name) was having an affair. The ‘proof’ was very suspect and I didn’t believe it. Went through it all with DH who denies it all and the messages turned to some insults.
We believed it was someone with malicious intent.

Im sorry I didn’t start a thread straight away-I didn’t want to start one and then not have the time to keep it up to date as yesterday was really busy. So some progress has been made:
-After being super certain the baby shower wasn’t put online I’ve discounted the woman from work. I’ve also found out that she’s moved back to her home country on the other side of the world so unlikely.
-I know people were unsure why I thought my college friend was the link. Essentially one of the insults I got sent was quite personal and about something I used to be quite insecure of when I was younger (not so much now) and college friend was aware of it.

I was still fairly certain it isn’t FROM her as I just can’t square that off but it seems to be too much of a coincidence that she was at the baby shower, has access to me online and knows about this thing.

We told PIL everything when they dropped kids off yesterday and DH said that he was supposedly with this woman that time I was at the baby shower-they completely backed him up that he was with them the whole time and couldn’t believe someone could be so vindictive. I felt bad we told them as they were quite upset about it all.

Back to college friend. We decided yesterday morning to follow Colleen’s lead and I posted a Facebook status viewable just to her along the lines of ‘absolutely devastated. Nearly 20 years only to be betrayed-anyone know a good solicitor?’ (Note, I would never normally share something so private!!).

We figured if it was her, I’d get a WhatsApp message mocking me or full of smugness. We could see she’d be been online lots through the day but we didn’t get anything from the number.

Then this morning I get a WhatsApp from her (using the number she used in the baby shower group) saying she’d seen my status, was so sorry and wondered if I was around for a catch up as she’s a bit worried about a few things and needs to talk to me.

Ive obviously tried to ask questions but she’s just asked if we could meet. We’ve got a few kids activities this morning but I’m meeting her at 2 for a drink and to see what she has to say.

Sorry, that was really long! And please don’t worry, this hasn’t completely taken over our weekend-we took kids to soft play party, had a nice bbq and this morning are going swimming. But I’m determined to find out what this is all about.

And because he knows this college friend knows nothing about anything.

Still, I hope for the OP's sake, she is right.

I hope it’s not her. I hope it’s some unhinged randomer that is somehow linked to her

I've been following both threads. Just wanted to say you sound very intelligent and I think you are handling this brilliantly. As others have said, def have your DH around when you meet her. You just don't know what people are capable of. People are so strange. I had a 'friend' for years that suddenly started acting like she hated me. Turned out she was in love with me.

Shamelessy placemarking! X

Well that seems to have escalated in my absence because (checks thread) I use the same words as other posters! I would be ecstatic if any naysayers want to report this thread and then MN can reassure anyone that I’m not the same posters as other lengthy threads and in fact I don’t think I’ve ever had a thread go beyond a few posts before (mostly as they have been about how to get pee out of car seats or something else mundane)

Anyway, I’m in the car outside the pub and about to go home to relieve my DH who has to be at the gym at 4 but it’s not my college friend but I definitively know who it is and why-my college friend unwittingly had something to do with it and spilled it all.

Its a really long and convoluted explanation and as soon as I’m home I’m going to write it up so sorry for the forthcoming lengthy post.

I enjoyed the gifs on here. If I had to sum up my reaction in a gif, it would be …

I’m sorry to say but it’s sounds like someone is very jealous of your life. People can be like this, even if your life is just normal, run of the mill. It comes from a place of their unhappiness.

Instead of improving their life, they try to bring yours down.

What happened??

She's posted above. Just before you did. She's going to give a longer explanation once she is home!

I am way too invested in this now and I think you’re awesome OP!

You’d be perfect working at SIS (MI5)!

Following, gosh op what a quandary!

Honestly, you and your DH sound rock solid. Because I believe that is true from the bottom of my heart, it has enabled me to enjoy your brilliant sleuthing. Thank you for not leaving us hanging 🙏

So invested!

Goodness we're on tenterhooks here waiting for news!

Amazing update . Can’t wait for the deets.

Place marking for the update.

Sorry you've had to go through all this nonsense but glad to hear you got to the bottom of it.

Placemaking

Placemarking - well done on a successful investigation OP!

Yes it doesn’t make sense not to want to get to the bottom of it. Suppose it was your best friend, having her in your house, laughing and chatting away innocently, you’d be sickened by it if you eventually found out much further down the line. Why on earth would anyone not want to know. 🤷‍♀️

Oh god, I hate this kind of shite! If it’s all a load of bollocks (and it really sounds like it is op) I cannot fathom being the type of person who would do this. It turns my stomach. I truly hope you get this all sorted out and put behind you.

@basilbush are you nearly here yet???? in true 5 year old's voice!

I find this plausible sadly have come across people doing these mad things. My lovely sister got a weird poison pen type letter pre
internet from a previously nice friend who went mad. Another friend was genuinely stalked and was sent vile post by her boyfriend who was trying to scare her so she would turn to him for protection! Her parents had to get the police involved and he attended their meetings! Seemed like a lovely guy on the surface.

How did they find out it was him?

I was thinking this too ☹️

Tenterhooks 🤔

And you can stop insulting people you don't know.b