Random Message DH Affair Part2

[basilbush]

Hi all

Link to previous thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5344952-random-message-saying-dh-affair?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

TLDR: I got a WhatsApp telling me DH (by name) was having an affair. The ‘proof’ was very suspect and I didn’t believe it. Went through it all with DH who denies it all and the messages turned to some insults.
We believed it was someone with malicious intent.

Im sorry I didn’t start a thread straight away-I didn’t want to start one and then not have the time to keep it up to date as yesterday was really busy. So some progress has been made:
-After being super certain the baby shower wasn’t put online I’ve discounted the woman from work. I’ve also found out that she’s moved back to her home country on the other side of the world so unlikely.
-I know people were unsure why I thought my college friend was the link. Essentially one of the insults I got sent was quite personal and about something I used to be quite insecure of when I was younger (not so much now) and college friend was aware of it.

I was still fairly certain it isn’t FROM her as I just can’t square that off but it seems to be too much of a coincidence that she was at the baby shower, has access to me online and knows about this thing.

We told PIL everything when they dropped kids off yesterday and DH said that he was supposedly with this woman that time I was at the baby shower-they completely backed him up that he was with them the whole time and couldn’t believe someone could be so vindictive. I felt bad we told them as they were quite upset about it all.

Back to college friend. We decided yesterday morning to follow Colleen’s lead and I posted a Facebook status viewable just to her along the lines of ‘absolutely devastated. Nearly 20 years only to be betrayed-anyone know a good solicitor?’ (Note, I would never normally share something so private!!).

We figured if it was her, I’d get a WhatsApp message mocking me or full of smugness. We could see she’d be been online lots through the day but we didn’t get anything from the number.

Then this morning I get a WhatsApp from her (using the number she used in the baby shower group) saying she’d seen my status, was so sorry and wondered if I was around for a catch up as she’s a bit worried about a few things and needs to talk to me.

Ive obviously tried to ask questions but she’s just asked if we could meet. We’ve got a few kids activities this morning but I’m meeting her at 2 for a drink and to see what she has to say.

Sorry, that was really long! And please don’t worry, this hasn’t completely taken over our weekend-we took kids to soft play party, had a nice bbq and this morning are going swimming. But I’m determined to find out what this is all about.

I’m inclined to agree!

Edit: was quoting @Merryoldgoat and forgot quote😬😆

Sooooo invested.

Good Luck @basilbush. Just remember, if it is her that sent the nasty messages, she may be intending to give you more 'bad news' about your husband and try to stick the boot in even further, when you meet. Nothing in writing that leads back to her would make sense then. Let her lead with whatever she wants to say.

I do suspect from what you say that she has said, that will be her intention. Likely to tell you more of the same things she has already said on the What'sApp. So be prepared for that, please and have ready what you are going to say if she does!

Hopefully all the people ‘shamelessly placemarking’ won’t fill the thread whole up and just click the watch button instead so OP doesn’t have to make a 3rd thread.

Placemarking

Oh I really hope you find the culprit what a vile thing to do!

Good luck

I disagree. having been on the receiving end of nasty similar stuff, (obscene voice phone calls directed at my late DH from another man) its horrible how stressful it can be even with no foundation to it. Its years ago now, before mobile phones, texting, any of that, just a landline. We never found out who or why. What we had to do was change our phone number and go ex directory (I know it all sounds historic now) At the time if we could have found out the who and maybe the why, it wouldn't have felt so unpleasant for so long. You just go round looking at people and going "is it you?"

Agree with this. Hope it goes ok OP

Hope all goes well - stressful and annoying for you!

@Merryoldgoat here here!

I was just thinking the same. Is it necessary to tell people you’re following a thread?

I think you’re going to find out the truth op please update!!

Hope you get some clarity. Good luck with the meeting.

I would do the same. People can't get away with this sort of thing. I would find them (probably do a Wagatha) and once sure confront them.

It's not petty. It's nit revenge. It's letting people know that they were caught and they didn't win.

I would be exactly the same as the OP, if someone was out to destroy my family I would want to know why and if we were at risk

Did this post from you not just add an additional unnecessary post to it, pushing it closer to filling up?

And yes, so did this from me...it's kinda how threads work.

Good luck

Good luck - I would do the same thing in the circumstances!

I see the forum police have arrived on this thread. And now I’ve added to it, naughty me. 🙄

Good luck op x

I think something may have happened in the past with her and your partner and for some reason she has decided to bring it up now, but why after all this time?

You sound very measured, OP. I hope you get answers.

Good luck OP! All very intriguing 🤨

Shamelessly placemarking - this is so intriguing!