Head to the divorce board. At the top in MN blurb is link to ADVICE NOW
go onto site and download their guides to DIY divorce process….they fantastic and will tell you what you do NOT need a lawyer for, what you might, and where you DO need one.
they explain the processes- you absolutely don’t need a solicitor to do the legal divorce itself. Any solicitor that tells you they will do it, is a scam. Law changed in 2022 to make it very simple for anyone to do..in about 30 mins or less. advice Now also (used to) has links to solicitors who will do specific tasks yourselves need- over phone etc at very good rates.
ADVICE NOW then have guides for getting your financial settlement done. They describe the really important bit around the law on “fair settlement”. It is crucial you understand this. The 7 or so criteria that must be met (where applicable) for the courts to seal the financial settlement. You do NOTneed a solicitor to understand which apply. Read up in these guides, read agian and then determine what that will likely mean for you and stbex. It does NOT start with 50:50 contrary to what is touted on MN all the time. Court like it if it ends up that way, but it is often not possible where “fair settllement” and limited assets come into play. Understand settlement is based ONLY on future needs, not past behaviour. (What was deemed by law lords colloquially as “shared misery”). You will both be worse off. In most cases arguing about it with solicitors will cost you £1000s, and make little significant different to outcome of what you walk away with financially as you’ll loose money in legal bills. Yes, you need solicitor for some very spepcifc tasks but at £200+ an hour, don’t STARTat solicitors. Yep you get a “free” 30 mins but this is mainly very basic stuff you can read on advice now, and then a sales pitch. Do your homework first, then go to solicitor with specifics around questions youhave and what exactly are tasks you want them to do vs you can do yourselves. That way you’ll make the most of your free 30 mins!
do not agree to any financial settlements informally until both of you have completed you full legal fiancnail disclosure. This is common mistake. Arguing about who has what before you’ve legally stated what you both have. Get forms E and D81 completed and signed first . Then enter negotiations around “fair settlement”. Again Guides will walk you through this. But ALL assets including pensions are listed, refuse to engage in any discussion on divorce until you’ve done this…otherwsoe this is stage that some couples drag out for years as the wealthier individual doesn’t want to fully declare. If he wants out the marriage, you have leveredge here to say you won’t discuss anything until he and you completes the forms E and D81 with evidence.
guides also cover child custody arrangements.
imho you should also ensure your stbex has copy of guides as well, and reads them. That way he’ll also understand lengthy legal processes will only cost you shed loads of money, increased stress, and a much much longer process. If you can both park anger and other emotions you can get this legal stuff sorted mostly yourselves at lower cost in majorities of cases.
where you need expert help is where there are massive excess assets (arguing about those second homes🙄, or diamonds) or where someone is potentially lying on their legal financial declaration ( this is a crime btw, but doesn’t stop some people trying to hide wealth), or your spouse is abusive. and in the case where assets are tied to business - that can get quite complicated.
in 2021 my (abusive) ex and I divorced using these guides. Cost less than £1400 as only used solicitor for 2 specific tasks. Also did the whole thing form petition to final decree in Less than 4 months- as you could back then for where there were quickie reasons. You can’t do that now - min of 26 weeks. no reasons for divorce given other than one or both parties say marriage broken down irreparably. We achieved that by me sharing the guides with him, us walking through process and “fair settlment” laws and what they meant. Sure we argued, but I was able to negotiate my way to settllement without protracted nasty abusive behaviour and get out of marriage quickly for my own safeguarding.
please do have confidence you can do a lot of tasks yourselves. The legal processes has recently been simplified to try to do this.
also you may find it help to look at “grief pathway”. You will probably be grieving for your marriage. This pathway describes the stages you may cycle through and why you feel the way you do. It basically follows any sort of change process- this is a massive sudden change and will result in a lot of feelings of fear etc. knowledge is a massive help to eliminate fear - fear is the unknown.