Random message saying DH affair

[basilbush]

Hoping for some advice here

Background-been with my DH 19 years, married 13 with two young children (nursery and reception).

I would say we have a happy marriage and solid family life. We rarely argue, spend time together and mostly manage to be respectful and have fun. We are intimate fairly regularly with no issues there (that I’m aware of).

So now to the weirdness. Yesterday afternoon I got a message on WhatsApp. It’s from a number I don’t recognise and the contact card photo is a flower so not identifying. The message said my DH (used his name) was cheating on me, had been going on for 6 months and I was naive to think my marriage was happy.

i haven’t replied. I’m not sure what to say and it’s knocked me for 6. I know you read posts from women all the time where they can’t see what’s right in front of them but I honestly don’t believe it. I don’t believe he’s capable of it-nor has he really had the opportunity.

He has recently started going to the gym and got fitter but we’ve both had health scares and it ties in with that.

Im not really sure what to do. I was going to just ask him outright (he’s away with work and back later today) and say I’ve got this weird message but it seemed so ridiculous to even ask him.

And being away with work isn’t a red flag-he’s sent photos of the conference, we faced timed last night and he rang me when got back to the room. First time he’s stayed away for a work thing in a year.

sorry, this was long and rambling!

I had somebody use me for sex whilst his wife was relocating. Sent her the proof of the time Date and location that it happened in. He denied everything went to another child with her and no doubt they’ve put the whole thing behind them.
But it did happen, I had no reason to lie and the only reason why I told her is because it has been done to me previously and I would’ve wanted to know

Well yes but it’s a bit suss that all the proof is so lame?
Why messages from only one time period. Why no evidence from the baby shower afternoon - it only proves they know Op was at the event -not where her DH was.

I’d definitely call their bluff just say something like,
“Ok your last message proved you are talking bollocks. Malicious emails are an offence ,I have reported you”

Not sure if anyone had suggested this but have you tried to GOOGLE the number yet ?

She said she had an nothing comes up x

You're absolutely right but it would be nice for them to know just how shit their efforts have been!

Ah OP. I think it’s a scam too. Hope for a peaceful evening for you xxx

Scammers do have an intention, to get money out of you.
Next they will offer further information on the "affair" if you cough up a fee.
Always be aware that there is loads of information about almost everyone online, doesn't take a brilliant hacker to find it.
Sadly there are those who aren't bothered how they exploit people's vulnerabilities.

I'd act along with it, respond with the likes of 'thank you so much for telling me, I feel like a fool. Ask them for more evidence cos you need to catch him out

See how they respond, either revealing themselves to be a scam or a nutter.

As much as the lynch mob on here would have your husband strung up by now, from what you've said it seems unlikely he's actually having an affair

If it’s saved to your contacts go to Snapchat and see if you can see a name there if they have an account.

Sadly this isn't proof either. It's easy to find out if someone has a tattoo. Someone just has to start up the conversation and people will often tell you what they've got and where without showing anyone.
The part I don't get is why us it an old photo unless he has 2 accounts? Or 2 sins in one card. I really hope as your gut is telling you that this all of this is made up. Either way it's malicious with intent to hurt you both.
Hope you're OK OP.

Ha! I did wonder if it was from her!

what a bizarre story!!

This is really weird. Usually I'd say there's no smoke without fire... but it does sound like it could simply be malicious.

However, why would someone do that?!

Does anyone else think it's some bitter, jealous acquaintance from the baby shower..... trying to stir up some trouble
👀 👀

Okay so if you’re sure it’s false - it would drive me mad to know the how / why / who. Is this pic of him an old one from Facebook or other social media? Does your SM mention the baby shower? If I were him i would be wanting to find who was doing this - it is actually a criminal offence under the Malicious Communications Act (though I’m not convinced whether the Police would be bothered to trace the number).

So to me this sounds like someone who has beef with you rather than your husband. Have you had any fallings out with anyone, colleagues maybe or a jealous ex? Who knows you were at your friends baby shower? I'm definitely erring on the side of it being bullshit and I'd usually think no smoke without fire, but they sound like they are enjoying tormenting you so I think someone doesn't like you and is being a massive dickhead. Xx

Sorry someone is fucking with you OP, really not nice that someone would be so malicious.

I agree. And if it’s a scam, they haven’t asked for any money before sending their ‘proof’, so what’s the scam?

I wouldn’t believe the message due to the significant change in language but it sounds like it’s from someone who knows you, who was either at the baby shower or is a Facebook friend - if you were tagged in a post about it which was locked down to friends only (if it was a public post with the globe or visible to friends of friends it could be anyone).

I really hope that he isn’t doing this! I’m team wifey. Been happily married for 13 years together for 23 years. Our relationships sound very similar! I’m also the breadwinner not that it matters everything goes in our joint account and it’s all just ours. I once had a ex now best friend who said to me I could have your husband if I wanted 🤣🤣 he seen her as a little sister and felt sorry for her because she was in an abusive relationship (she choose to marry him despite that) my hubby never seen her in that way and was gutted that she even thought that way about him. But she wanted to hurt me because I refused to be her maid of honour because I didn’t agree with who she was marrying. Sad thing! I still love and miss her as a friend. But her own jealousy and anger caused the rift and it could have ended our marriage. Some people are just vile! I’m hoping it’s false news.

I don't feel like this person is suggesting she's the OW but trying to pretend she has 'info' here.

I'm getting strong blackmail type vibes and I remain curious about what the OP and her husband may do for a living.

We don’t either, in fact there’s only a few in my circle that does.

Late to this but has anyone mentioned here how this person knew YOUR number @basilbush ?

Is your number out there?

Or would they have found it on your H's phone?

Yes, I did. I find it much more likely this is something targeted at the OP. It's all very creepy.

You can't blackmail anyone for something they didn't do - unless you're capable of producing good-quality fake evidence. This person isn't.

'I did'

What? You mean you were the OW and found the wife's number?

Sorry , I'm not sure what you meant.

The baby shower reference is the detail here that I think is significant. Knew where the OP was. The DH - not so much.