Annulling marriage as spouse is trans?

[confusedpasty]

Hi everyone,

I got married 3 months ago. I have been with my now husband for 7 years and prior to the wedding, we honestly had a fantastic relationship. We also have a 14 month old boy. We are best friends and have shared everything together and talked about having more children after the wedding.

Intimacy has trailed off a bit since our baby was born, mostly on my part actually as I haven’t felt in the mood much, but I guess from his side too. Anyway, I thought this was just a phase due to our circumstances and was excited for the wedding.

Slight relevant background - my husband has always been more ‘feminine’ if you can call it that, as in interested in clothes and hair and underwear etc. No problem, loved him for who he was and we got on great.

Fast forward to after the wedding - no sex despite me trying and trying. 12 weeks have now passed since our wedding so I finally sat him down last night and asked what’s going on. He told me that he feels ashamed to admit it, but that deep down he feels he is transgender and his true feelings are that he identifies as a woman and that sex now feels disgusting to him as he’s not behaving like his true self?

Lots of crying and emotion followed - he begged me to support him and stay if he chooses to transition publicly, I feel that I cannot do this. I am torn. He has gone to stay with his mum for a few days whilst I process this.

I know this is a bit of a niche situation, but has anyone out there faced a similar situation? I am considering applying for an annulment, I think this would be fair on the grounds we haven’t consummated the marriage? Husband says he would contest this. I am so, so confused and haven’t yet told anyone in real life.

All evidence to the contrary.

Have you heard yourself? you sound like a brainwashed cultist. No one is assigned anything by their parents, people simply have male or female children. Take your TRA agenda elsewhere. Its not welcome and everyone can see YOU for the gaslighter you are, as well as the poor OPs cowardly husband.

I advise you to give it up as well. virtually nobody believes the old assigned at birth nonsense anymore and the people that pretended to go along with it to "be kind" have had enough. The scales have fallen from their eyes after seeing the endless parade of grotesque fetishists getting off on inserting themselevs where they are not welcome and poor traumatised, confused young girls being taken advantage off by grifting doctors like Helen Webberley. Give it up. Its over. Call us all transphobic if you want, no one cares, and no one believes it anymore.

They're not the one so fuelled by hate. Your gaslighting and DARVO is yet another sign of femphobia, misogynistic bigotry and Toxic Masculinity.

Funny thing is, it's not me who's making it about me, it's people who seem to be obsessed by my gender for some reason. I challenge you to find anywhere where I've made any reference to myself except in direct response to somebody's question to me. Off you go...

The problem with casting aspersions about "transphobic" comments is that even trans people don't know why they are what they are.
It used to be that you needed a gender dysphoria diagnosis, but this has stopped as trans campaigners won their right to self ID. Something that transexuals have said that they are against and that it devalues their experiences.
But then the trans umbrella stretched way to wide and included transvestites and furries, whilst ignoring AGP etc.

How are others supposed to support what you are when the "community" itself doesn't know what what it is (we had to go to court for a definition of women ffs) and is still co-opting LGB as a basis for existing?

This really should be a different thread.

There is nobody in this thread who has demonstrated more ably than you, Flaky, that you are fuelled by hate. You can repeat yourself as many times as you want with nonsensical notions that you imagine are hurtful, insulting put-downs, but they reflect far more on you than me. Please don't stop on my behalf - it's just water off a duck's back to me. I can't take you seriously at all.

Coming from you, the one who has posted deep-seated malignant hatred against females and our rights, yours is simply gaslighting and DARVO. Look in the mirror. And feel shame.

Have I? Crikey! I must have been writing in my sleep... 🙄

transphobic yayda yadda, bigot, fueled by vile nazi hate spew vile transphobe bigot do better etc etc. Dont you get it? I, and the vast majority.of women, don't care what hackneyed old insultsbyoubthrown out anynore. We don't care. You do better and be honest with yourself and stop trying to gaslight women.

You replied twice to my one post. Twice. And 17 minutes apart. So still pondering my post after 17 minutes. It's clear that I'm the one living rent free in your head...

lol do better. hope you're ok OP x

Think that poster's doing that classic STOP TALKING AND GIVING ADVICE!! nonsense, so is spamming thread with rubbish to try and deflect from it's purpose, giving OP support.🙄

Yep, I'm going to let them keep obsessing over me and over other feminists. I live rent free in their head. Reading my post twice and replying twice is indicative of a serious obsession. I'm not going to reply to them anymore. The thread is about the OP and right now she really needs help and support. The Mens Rights activists can jump.

Depressing isn’t it that all other women apart from us can post in Relationsips for advice without the thread turning into this sort of shit show. Just trans widows get this special treatment, still.

Yes please take your arguments elsewhere … the OP will be overwhelmed as it is.
@Pupinskipops most disagree with you on this thread, even if they’re not replying to you. Can you start your own thread maybe?

Poor OP

@confusedpasty - I hope you’re still around reading the genuine supportive posts and haven’t given up due to the monotonous agenda driven derail.

OP is he on your son's birth certificate?

As someone said upthread all this debate is of no help to the OP.
Her marriage hasn’t been consummated so there is no reason why she can’t apply to have it annulled if this is what she wants. The fact that her and her husband have lived together for sometime and have a child is irrelevant.
If the marriage is annulled it won’t prevent them remaining friends and parenting their child together, it will just mean that they are not legally bound to each other and are free to marry again if they wish.
The government website contains all the necessary information about annulment and my advice to the OP, particularly as her husband has said he will contest an application is to seek legal advice and instruct a Solicitor to act on her behalf.
A family member had an annulled marriage on the grounds of non consummation and it was all finalised within 5,months of the wedding which included the Christmas break. She was not required to attend court at all.
Bearing in mind the situation OP now finds herself in and the fact that her husband has said he will contest an annulment, her case is likely to be not so straightforward so all the more reason to seek legal advice.
As the OP’s husband allowed the wedding to go ahead feeling as he does/did, yet doesn’t want the marriage annulled I wonder whether whilst he’s at his mums he might decide to try and suppress the feelings he has in the hope that he can persuade the OP that the marriage is salvageable. In her shoes I’d be careful not to allow anything to occur that might jeopardise an annulment if this is what she really wants.

About what? I'm not making any particular argument - just responding to other people's comments (abuse, mainly) to me...

yawn.

Stay strong OP.

I’ve said my peace about his AGP assholery. But I think k this is worth a watch The White Lotus saying the quiet part out loud. Make no mistake, he is a fetishist and he’s using and abusing you in his roleplaying. Get rid!!!!

You can start at 6 mins and then rewind to the beginning if it’s easier