Annulling marriage as spouse is trans?

[confusedpasty]

Hi everyone,

I got married 3 months ago. I have been with my now husband for 7 years and prior to the wedding, we honestly had a fantastic relationship. We also have a 14 month old boy. We are best friends and have shared everything together and talked about having more children after the wedding.

Intimacy has trailed off a bit since our baby was born, mostly on my part actually as I haven’t felt in the mood much, but I guess from his side too. Anyway, I thought this was just a phase due to our circumstances and was excited for the wedding.

Slight relevant background - my husband has always been more ‘feminine’ if you can call it that, as in interested in clothes and hair and underwear etc. No problem, loved him for who he was and we got on great.

Fast forward to after the wedding - no sex despite me trying and trying. 12 weeks have now passed since our wedding so I finally sat him down last night and asked what’s going on. He told me that he feels ashamed to admit it, but that deep down he feels he is transgender and his true feelings are that he identifies as a woman and that sex now feels disgusting to him as he’s not behaving like his true self?

Lots of crying and emotion followed - he begged me to support him and stay if he chooses to transition publicly, I feel that I cannot do this. I am torn. He has gone to stay with his mum for a few days whilst I process this.

I know this is a bit of a niche situation, but has anyone out there faced a similar situation? I am considering applying for an annulment, I think this would be fair on the grounds we haven’t consummated the marriage? Husband says he would contest this. I am so, so confused and haven’t yet told anyone in real life.

If objecting to a FULLY INTACT MALE in a female only space is 'transphobia', we now know that 'transphobia' is just another word for 'misandry'.

What’s APG? I don’t want to google it

Who's research and who did they study?

The problem with making assumptions is that often they're wrong. I'm cis female - probably just like you, actually.

What's a 'cis female'?

That means nothing these days. India Willoughby used to call herself a cis female, now he calls himself a biological female.

A man who 'transitions' will stay the male sex. Your argument does not follow. The child will have a mother and a trans identified father, which is a hideous state of affairs and bears no resemblance to the situation of a same sex couple deciding to have a child.

Yun Zhang et al: "Family outcome disparities between sexual minority and heterosexual families: a systematic review and meta-analysis".

You can look up the details yourself.

Autogynaephilia. Getting off to the thought or sight of themselves dressed in stereotypically female clothing. Usually hyper sexualised stuff but plenty of weird twinset and pearls types as well. There’s not enough eye bleach to erase the sheer number of selfies they post tho, so you are very sensible not to google!

If you identify with gendered expectations of feminine behaviour and appearance, no, probably not like most women.

AKA a Pick Me

With respect I hadn't read the 25 pages posted since yesterday before I replied.
Apply the handcuffs and take me away Thread Police. 🙄

autogynophillia.

Some men are sexually turned on by the thought of themselves as female. Presenting as "female" in public excites them. Hence the choice of clothing that men think of as characteristically "female" - from the 'floral 50's housewife with pearls' look to the boobs out "slutty" look. It doesn't much matter which look is chosen, it's their own projection of what "female" looks like that turns them on.

I was responding to the comment that the child would have a second mother.

I disagree that having a trans parent is a hideous state of affairs. These are the kinds of comments I referred to as transphobic in my original comment, which has attracted so much excitement!

OH he's deep into some group that's leading him by the nose. I'm sorry but he's in their clutches now.

Yes. It’s a woman (adult human female) who believes she has a feminine gender identity. As opposed to a woman who doesn’t subscribe to the concept of gender identity & just knows she’s a woman because of her biology.

The people at childrenoftransitioners.org/ would disagree.

‘Cis’ women don’t refer to themselves at that, it’s an obnoxious phrase. We would say biological woman if we had to make the point.

Because he deliberately crashed it! I bet my house that if the OP could access his internet history she’d find a tsunami of utterly repulsive sissy porn and vile Reddit threads full of men writing about their new ‘titties’ and sharing where to buy hormones online. It’s squalid, and he’s dragged an innocent woman and child into by deception.

Eh? 🤔

To be fair some women do refer to themselves as cis.

I think it might be similar to being a trad wife.

Plenty of trans-identified men think they have turned themselves into biological women by taking HRT. True story. You'll find them stating that on Reddit or BlueHair BlueSky.

And yet here I am, a cis woman, referring to myself as such. The only people who object are those who deny the existence of trans women. Transphobes.

Perhaps you could explain what you mean by CIS?

As far as I understand you think that somebody assigns you a gender at birth (masculine or feminine), and that if you don't identify as that gender you are trans, and if you do you are cis.

The World Health Organisation defines gender as

"the characteristics of women, men, girls and boys that are socially constructed. This includes norms, behaviours and roles associated with being a woman, man, girl or boy, as well as relationships with each other."

So you identify wth the characteristics of women and girls that are socially constructed, including the norms, behaviours and roles associated with being a woman, or girl.

No idea why you would do that, but I notice that trad wives are a phenomenon on instagram and TikTok.

You're a woman. No 'c1s' is required (btw, the word 'cis' is banned on mumsnet, just thought you'd like to know). The only ones who use the word 'c1s' are handmaidens and trad wives and femphobes with internalised misogyny. No one is denying the existence of males.