Page 16 | Shit men on dating apps.

ThatAquaRobin · 2025-05-10T13:13:59+00:00

Feel like giving up. I mean seriously what's the bloody point? I'm 49. I have been chatting to what seemed like a smart intelligent guy (55) for the past week in Whatsapp. Met on bumble. He checked out ok, one mutual Facebook friend. We had set up a date for this evening 6.30 and the last message I had was around 8ish last night saying how he was looking forward to it. Today he cancels at 1pm-ish saying "he's met someone else he likes and wanted to be honest" Am I naive or is this the norm now? Honestly I just want to cry What's the point?

TwistedWonder · 30/09/2025 20:06

iamnotalemon · 30/09/2025 20:02

If I see this I immediately swipe left. Not the type of man I want.

Show quote history

Ditto. You know they’re the sort of bloke who loves ‘bantz’ and is about as charismatic as a boiled potato

TwistedWonder · 30/09/2025 20:10

Crushed23 · 30/09/2025 13:35

Is that one real?! I think these things are such a cliche now that if a man is serious about finding a woman on OLD or has had a female friend review their profile, they wouldn’t put such rubbish in there.

Red flags are much more subtle now. For example I found the men who had any kind of self-congratulatory quote in their profile (think “man in the arena…” and the like) or who alluded to being obsessed with a certain branch of self-development (cold plunge, sauna therapy etc) to be the worst. They had zero interest in an equal partnership and just wanted a (usually younger) woman to worship them. They had ‘main character’ syndrome, as the kids are calling it.

Show quote history

It’s very real and very commonly quoted, usually by men who think they’re hilarious but actually about as funny as norovirus.

TheSuperfluousWoman · 30/09/2025 20:51

shuggles · 30/09/2025 19:41

@TheSuperfluousWoman The fact is that it's simple demographics. From a certain age on there are simply more women than men in general. And there are also more single women than men.
This means that a decent single heterosexual man over 50 has his pick of women. There are some who become rude because of this.

You literally just made this up, because it's incorrect.

Men on dating apps massively outnumber women.

Men compete for women on dating apps; it's not the other way round. If a man was to swipe right on every profile, he might get 2 or 3 matches a month or so. If a woman was to swipe right on every profile, the number would be higher than that.

There are plenty of single men who are prepared to go on dates with women. Pretending otherwise is just delusion.

Edited

Maybe men outnumber women on dating sites but most of them put so little effort in making themselves dateable that they cannot be considered options.
Many are lazy and stingy: profile hardly filled out, bad pictures, refusing to take a paid subscription with the result they can only send a standard "I am interested", and if they have a subscription and could write a couple of lines they still stick to "Hi".
None of this makes a woman thinks this is going to be a decent partner.
The few that have a decent profile disappear after a couple of weeks since they have already been snatched away by a woman. Women throw themselves at these guys.

Meena50 · 30/09/2025 20:59

@TheSuperfluousWoman id have to agree, my ex went on a date a week for a year. He was tall and could write well and was inundated.

shuggles · 30/09/2025 21:00

@TheSuperfluousWoman Maybe men outnumber women on dating sites but most of them put so little effort in making themselves dateable that they cannot be considered options.

Right, so there's a difference between there being no single men, and there being no single men that meet your checklist.

To say that there is no single men is just incorrect. Again, single men massively outnumber single women, especially on dating apps.

Many are lazy and stingy: profile hardly filled out, bad pictures, refusing to take a paid subscription with the result they can only send a standard "I am interested", and if they have a subscription and could write a couple of lines they still stick to "Hi".

Having a paid subscription is a no-no. Appearing too keen or enthusiastic kills a man's relationship prospects. The standard for men is to not appear enthusiastic, which means not having a subscription on a dating app.

TheSuperfluousWoman · 30/09/2025 21:02

BeerAndMusic · 28/09/2025 10:30

Because in theory we are all looking for the same thing.

People suggest meeting someone socially - I find that impossible. I joined a new gym recently (for fitness rather than meeting someone). But there isn't really much chat before or after classes and no way of knowing who may be single of not.

I have used the apps in the past and without trying to make it into a sob story or boast, was quite surprised (after reading posts on here about how rubbish ex husbands were) to get so little matches for me. While I am no Brad Pitt I would consider myself average looking, physically fit, wide range of hobbies from pubs to travel to flying, high income, nice house - super clean, can cook, emotionally intelligent yet despite having good pics and detailed bio got very little. I was only looking for long term.

Show quote history

You seem to leave one thing out: what's your height? Are you on the smaller side. If you are so great as you describe I can't see why you don't have success in OLD. The older men are the easier they have it.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not one of these women who wants at all cost a tall man. As a matter of fact I seem to have a thing for not too tall guys with an athletic well-proportioned built - think Tom Cruise, Patrick Swayze - yes I was young in the 80ies 😁.
But when I speak to women height as a preference comes up so often that I think it is really a thing for them. Even really small women want a guy of at least 6 feet tall and won't give others the light of the day. I find this so incredibly stupid, as if height has anything to do with character, success and being a good partner. I think many women are very shallow in this one, and this has most of all to do with the opinion their girlfriends will have on their boyfriend. Nothing with the quality of the relationship.
It's the equivalent of the obsession with age by guys. Of course if a guy wants kids it makes sense to go for a woman who can still have them, and if he's 40 that means he might go for the 30 year old. One can then wonder why he did not have kids at 30.
But if a guy does not want kids or not any longer, why still the obsession with age? Especially knowing that if he picks a younger woman without kids there is a big chance she will want them at some point.
Show that both men and woman have often very shallow unrealistic expectations which stand in the way of finding a good, decent partner.

Bittenonce · 30/09/2025 21:31

TheSuperfluousWoman · 30/09/2025 20:51

Maybe men outnumber women on dating sites but most of them put so little effort in making themselves dateable that they cannot be considered options.
Many are lazy and stingy: profile hardly filled out, bad pictures, refusing to take a paid subscription with the result they can only send a standard "I am interested", and if they have a subscription and could write a couple of lines they still stick to "Hi".
None of this makes a woman thinks this is going to be a decent partner.
The few that have a decent profile disappear after a couple of weeks since they have already been snatched away by a woman. Women throw themselves at these guys.

Show quote history

As a man, obviously I don’t see the other men’s profiles and have to take your word for it but I’ve got to say - there are plenty of women relying on pictures alone, no profile details, no subscription, old pictures, ‘age is really X but I can’t change it’. And you think it’s tough for you? Apparently the norm is for men to get about 1% of the ‘likes’ a woman does. If we’re fussy (yes, I am!) then that leaves a depressingly small number of people who seem capable of writing a literate, articulate profile. I’d guess the ‘disappearing profiles’ are as likely to be the result of going off with our dogs to try to re-find some self worth, as they are finding a real relationship.

TheSuperfluousWoman · 30/09/2025 21:43

Bittenonce · 30/09/2025 21:31

As a man, obviously I don’t see the other men’s profiles and have to take your word for it but I’ve got to say - there are plenty of women relying on pictures alone, no profile details, no subscription, old pictures, ‘age is really X but I can’t change it’. And you think it’s tough for you? Apparently the norm is for men to get about 1% of the ‘likes’ a woman does. If we’re fussy (yes, I am!) then that leaves a depressingly small number of people who seem capable of writing a literate, articulate profile. I’d guess the ‘disappearing profiles’ are as likely to be the result of going off with our dogs to try to re-find some self worth, as they are finding a real relationship.

Show quote history

You don't answer the 1 million dollar question: what's your height?

TheSuperfluousWoman · 30/09/2025 21:45

shuggles · 30/09/2025 21:00

@TheSuperfluousWoman Maybe men outnumber women on dating sites but most of them put so little effort in making themselves dateable that they cannot be considered options.

Right, so there's a difference between there being no single men, and there being no single men that meet your checklist.

To say that there is no single men is just incorrect. Again, single men massively outnumber single women, especially on dating apps.

Many are lazy and stingy: profile hardly filled out, bad pictures, refusing to take a paid subscription with the result they can only send a standard "I am interested", and if they have a subscription and could write a couple of lines they still stick to "Hi".

Having a paid subscription is a no-no. Appearing too keen or enthusiastic kills a man's relationship prospects. The standard for men is to not appear enthusiastic, which means not having a subscription on a dating app.

Having a paid subscription is a no-no because you would seem to eager??? What a twisted sad reasoning this is. Sounds more like being stingy, which is probably the biggest turn-off for me in anyone. That's the kind of people who want a maximum input with putting in as little as possible.
It also means that the women have to take a paid subscription in order to be able to write to you.

shuggles · 30/09/2025 21:59

@TheSuperfluousWoman Sounds more like being stingy, which is probably the biggest turn-off for me in anyone.

It's not stingyness. Dating app monthly bills are extremely expensive. If I used a dating app, I would not want to pay the extortionate bills.

It also means that the women have to take a paid subscription in order to be able to write to you.

That's false. People can write to each other on Tinder without paying the subscription.

Bittenonce · 30/09/2025 21:59

TheSuperfluousWoman · 30/09/2025 21:43

You don't answer the 1 million dollar question: what's your height?

Show quote history

Haha that’s so important?? I must admit I pay about as much attention to that as to someone’s star sign - but for the record, 6’3”

TwistedWonder · 30/09/2025 22:01

TheSuperfluousWoman · 30/09/2025 21:45

Having a paid subscription is a no-no because you would seem to eager??? What a twisted sad reasoning this is. Sounds more like being stingy, which is probably the biggest turn-off for me in anyone. That's the kind of people who want a maximum input with putting in as little as possible.
It also means that the women have to take a paid subscription in order to be able to write to you.

Show quote history

Depends on the app. I’m a woman and I’ve never paid for a subscription. Bumble definitely you don’t need to pay to chat

Bittenonce · 30/09/2025 22:06

TwistedWonder · 30/09/2025 22:01

Depends on the app. I’m a woman and I’ve never paid for a subscription. Bumble definitely you don’t need to pay to chat

Show quote history

That’s the plus about Bumble - but I did try paying on Ourtime just because it gives you more scope to actually talk about who you are and what you want.

Gymbunny2025 · 30/09/2025 22:08

Bittenonce · 30/09/2025 21:59

Haha that’s so important?? I must admit I pay about as much attention to that as to someone’s star sign - but for the record, 6’3”

Show quote history

Haven’t you posted about the challenges of being short and trying to date a few times?

Bittenonce · 30/09/2025 22:10

Gymbunny2025 · 30/09/2025 22:08

Haven’t you posted about the challenges of being short and trying to date a few times?

Show quote history

Er, not me! I’ve been accused or many things but ‘too short’ isn’t one of them!

Crushed23 · 30/09/2025 22:27

When I was OLD I paid for both Hinge and Tinder. On Hinge it made no difference whatsoever to the ‘quality’ of men, but on Tinder it made a world of difference. Actually, subscription Tinder was the least awful OLD platform that I tried. Tonnes of filters on the paid version, so you don’t have to see so many of the ‘instant no’ profiles, which saves a lot of time. Never got on with Bumble for some reason, although lots of my friends rate it.

Catullus5 · 30/09/2025 22:30

Aren't there some pretty conclusive statistics on height preference on dating apps? The very nature of dating apps makes them a statistical goldmine. Same with women typically getting much more attention than men.

Newfigtree · 01/10/2025 02:10

Bittenonce · 30/09/2025 21:59

Haha that’s so important?? I must admit I pay about as much attention to that as to someone’s star sign - but for the record, 6’3”

Show quote history

Hahahahahaha

CallmePaul · 02/10/2025 19:41

Ha ref the 6ft 3 thing apparently it's considered the most ideal height on the apps for blokes.

I'm that height (male) & I'm told lots of shorter guys say they are & if are taller it can put ladies off as they consider it too tall so they also say it.

Gymbunny2025 · 02/10/2025 19:55

Suddenly all the male posters are claiming to be 6’3!

Original poster

ThatAquaRobin · 02/10/2025 20:00

The best sex I've ever had was with my recent ex. 5ft3

OP posts:

TwistedWonder · 02/10/2025 20:11

I’m 5’7 so about 6ft is my ideal height I think.

Though it’s amazing how many men in OLD claim to be 6ft but are not much more than a fag paper taller than me.

My ex H and DS are both 6ft so I can judge very well if someone is the height they claim

Bittenonce · 02/10/2025 22:59

Gymbunny2025 · 02/10/2025 19:55

Suddenly all the male posters are claiming to be 6’3!

Maybe it’s true? Stranger things have happened🤣
Must admit I can’t get my head around people who exaggerate their height on dating profiles - it’s not like you can keep up the pretence and if you meet it would be like ‘OK you know I’m happy to lie to you even before we’ve met, just wait until I really get started!’
Makes no sense….

Meena50 · 03/10/2025 05:59

@Bittenonce did you say you used Ourtime? (I assume you must be in your 60s) What were the women like on there? I havent heard great things about the site myself. Definitely think get a friend to review your profile.

Not sure im too bothered on height because youd never write someone off in real life due to height so why online. I've dated/had kids with a gorgeous man who was about 5ft 8, but later in love with a man who was 6ft 6 so I have no preference!

Catullus5 · 03/10/2025 07:08

I feel closer to 3'6 and am known in the office as 'wee Catullus' or 'my little friend'. 😂 Which I find rather sweet and don't mind at all.