DH near death experience but down to his own stupidity.

[breakdown98765]

I’m using a throw away account just in case this becomes outing. I am trying to keep it vague as I need to rant/support and do not want the world putting two-and-two together and thinking I’m a heartless wife while my husband shakes like a leaf in the corner. I’m writing this on relationships and not on AIBU to try to stop the crowd trying to unpick our anonymity.

I was hoping last year would be the wake up call he needed to change his lifestyle. It’s nothing illegal, nor morally wrong, just idiotic at best. I’d say he increases his chances of these NDE by at least 70% by part taking. Something you can get away with when you’re in your early twenties but not when you’ve got a wife, kids and getting older.

The night before the second NDE I had a go at him/‘what are you doing.. this is stupid’. I’ve been a lot more vocal since the first NDE with him being idiotic, so much so his called me a nag/acting like his mother. I’ve wrote on mumsnet before, there’s been an unanimous ‘yep he’s stressed but he needs another outlet/become a real grown up etc’. He’s been in delusion that his choices did not correlate with NDE but there can be absolute no argument with two NDE that this is not a fluke. I guess he thought I was being a nag because I was wrong. Everyone in my immediate circle called it as soon as they heard. His side not so much as they don’t know what he’s doing to contribute to it. It’s basically like he’s saying he’s fell down the stairs but missed out the part of him doing it on stilts. While delusional he’s evidently embarrassed and knows he’ll be judged.

Fortunately he’s got no life altering injuries but now isn't the time for me to be having it out with him. I’ve not been able to eat since it happened. He’s extremely apologetic, again, and beating himself up.

He’s also going to miss out on earning too screwing us financially too. Also another thing we can’t prioritise right now.

I'm fairly confident Rod Hull didn't have Emu up on the roof with him at the time, but if he did it does add another level to the recklessness of the act.

I think you are being so obscure about what he’s done and what the outcome has been that it is impossible to comment . How injured is injured ? Aare you using NDE as he was actually near death or he could have been if it had gone a different way ?

Whatever he is doing, whether it be ironing in the nude whilst blind folded or playing Russian roulette with a spud gun, doing reckless things all the time and being aware of it indicates that he is stupid.

What was that bunch of American men that had a tv show years ago? Jackass, thats the one.

Utterly embarrassing to see grown arse hairy and ugly blokes acting like inane prat’s doing stupid things.

Rod Hull definitely did not have Emu on the roof .

Except the one example she's given us and said it was "like" is doing DIY with 3 extension cords in the rain.
Just someone trying to do something useful to both of them, but being inadvertently incompetent - hardly Jackass.

OP you’re using a throwaway account so there’s no link to other posts, so why not tell us what he’s done, so people can get the full picture. Otherwise there’s no point posting, and you’re going to get 10 pages of people trying to guess the activity. Also, I can guarantee he won’t be the only man to have a serious accident doing DIY this weekend!

How can you be sure? Were you there?

Did you push him?

@breakdown98765 3 extension cables? Has he been on the roof in wind and rain by any chance? 🤔 Christ on a biscuit, has he got a death wish(or maybe fixation)? Sending you hugs whatever it is. xo

Yeah, that's the first thing I thought of but disappointingly it's just something like trying to eletrocute himself while doing DIY.

How can a grown man with an ounce of common sense think water and electricity are a good combination!? I know someone who was struck by lightning while wearing a Viking helmet (re-enactment) and he's lucky to be alive.

@Dolphinnoises or does he drink and drive?

OP said it's something you get away with in your 20s. The overwhelming majority of young drivers have the knowledge and maturity not to drink and drive, and almost none of them ever do so.

Right enough, his Wiki page gives the cause of death as 'pushed off his own roof by a Mumsnetter',

I just edited checked it.

Again, that was an analogy - she said it was "on the lines of" that.

Firstly, do not indulge him in any of his ‘post trauma’ dramatics, “shaking like a leaf in the corner” ffs, tell him to get a fucking grip.

Sit him down and insist that he takes out life insurance if he doesn’t have it already, or increases his cover (and make sure it covers dickhead behaviour) if he does.

He’s also going to miss out on earning too screwing us financially too.

Ask him what his plan is for this? If he doesn’t have one then he needs to come up with one fast.

Have a real serious think about whether you want to continue living like this. He doesn’t really give a fuck about his kids does he, if he’s deliberately putting himself in dangerous situations.

At least if you’re already separated when he dies the kids will be used to him not being around some of the time.

I always knew there was more to it.....

This is so vague that no one can give you what you want here.

From your analogies it could be drink driving so a child isn't left stranded, it could be climbing on the roof to get a ball, it could be working 7 days a week to pay for a holiday when he is in poor health. All quite different, all could lead to serious illness/injury. You also don't say what has actually happened to him, you say near death experience, that could be a fall that could have been fatal but he sprained an ankle or it could be cardiac arrest, again both very different and the former not really a near death experience. As he and his side don't see a link, maybe there isn't a link and you are being dramatic. You really need to give more info if you want valid judgments.

By god I think you’ve got it!

OP is married to Johnny Knoxville.

Op reckons you can “get away with” this particular activity in your early twenties, but not later.
Kind of rules out taking chances with electricity, the danger doesn’t differentiate by age.

I understand the need to be vague but there needs to be some detail for people to follow.

I have absolutely no clue what this is about or the purpose of posting either, if I'm being really honest.

In any case, sorry this has happened, and hope you're both OK, OP.

Hmmmm.

DIY that gets more dangerous with age.

Roofing. He fell off and broke something and he's not near death but two inches thataway and he'd have bought the farm?

Also, who the hell insists on doing bad DIY electrics? The first post makes it sound far more like this is some sort of hobby that her partner chooses to indulge in. Doing your own electrics isn't a hobby. Nobody really enjoys it; that's why electricians get paid.

I was just thinking "are you that junkie that's married to Bam Margera?"

Moto x ?

Or cutting down a tall tree! Chain saws and heights.