New Partner Wet the Bed

[NewManIssue]

That’s it, basically.

I met someone about a month ago and it has been fantastic really good fun no issues at all, we’ve done absolutely loads together, met friends of each other and an adult child, and have lots of planned.

He came over yesterday afternoon because we were both off work and we went out for a walk had a few drinks. He made us some food. We had a few more drinks and we were both pretty drunk, I will admit.

The morning when I went over to give him a hug as the alarm was about to go off the bed was soaking, I presumed with sweat…no particular smell at this stage.

I left my bed open to air with a view to stripping the sheets after work, however when I went back in there the whole room reeked of urine and there was a huge stain and it has gone through my mattress topper and my mattress is still soaking wet as are the pillows.

I’ve never experienced this before, Although I know it can be something some men do when they are drunk…

I feel like it’s something I need to speak to him face-to-face about which I could probably do tomorrow when he finishes work at about 9:30pm but otherwise I’m unlikely to see him for a few days.

I feel a little awkward. I don’t want him embarrass him however surely it’s not the first time even if this is the first time with me since I’ve known him.

It’s not a dealbreaker initially, however if it’s a regular thing, it’s definitely a dealbreaker. I think I’m just gonna have to say, I had to sleep on the sofa tonight…the bed was still wet and it wasn’t sweat - which we initially assumed…

If anyone can give me any advice or have experienced this, please shout!

Bloody typical it has been going amazingly well, For the first time in my life, I’m with a man who is more keen on me than I am him (guards up still 🤣)

Jeez… another overkill response! Urine is actually sterile (unless he’s riddled, but let’s for once give him the benefit of the doubt!). Just air it out and let it dry… you can use bicarb to remove stains (pour on, rub it in and let it dry for few hours then vacuum off).

Another one shamelessly posting for an update 😂

So you should be. Chefs are amongst the hardest working people on the planet. I'm not surprised this happened. The point is whether he can learn to control his off time & whether you are prepared to accept this accident going forward. Regardless, it needs some serious discussion & the realisation from him this type of situation can't go on.

Oh that old chestnut. No, urine is not sterile once it leaves the body. It’s not overkill to say he should replace the mattress that he’s ruined.

I'd personally suggest having a conversation with him first before drawing your conclusions and see what he has to say. Find out the info then make your decision it sounds like you really like him and he is nice so hear him out, then act on that outcome.

How do men respond to women who ejaculate in their beds? Disgust or pride in their skills as a lover?

Exactly - that mattress will stink, and even if you remove the stains, the urine will have gone inside the mattress.

Strangely invested. Hope it went well op!

I know of someone that regularly gets drunk and wets the bed. Honestly unsure how he’s still married 😬

Oh THAT old chestnut… technically urine is not sterile once it leaves the body, this is true. It does contain SOME bacteria.

HOWEVER, the level of bacteria is FAR LOWER than is contained in saliva! So get some perspective (and read a book).

Sterile or not, it bloody stinks, especially after a skinful of beers! Airing it out won’t get the job done once it’s soaked into the mattress.

Maybe the OP has invited him back for round two.... Refreshed so many times hoping for a response!

Jeez… another overkill response! Urine is actually sterile

Once it starts to stink, it's far from sterile - what do you think causes the smell?

My post crossed paths with hers yesterday and i acknowledged that in another msg to her and a second to amother poster. So thanks for your comment but it's late.

The ex chefs I know don’t smoke and didn’t drink much as the hours were too unfriendly for socialising, and now they cook amazing family meals for their family and the lucky people like us who are their friends, and when you drop by of an afternoon there is home made jam for the freshly made scones. I’m a big fan of chef friends!!

UPDATE!!

As I said earlier, he was very very busy with work - love all the stereotypical assumptions about him 🤷🏼‍♀️ as he’s a chef.

The minute he finished work, we went and sat somewhere quiet and I literally just said to him before we even think about what we’re doing this weekend, I need to talk to you about Monday night.

Then I said it wasn’t sweat in the bed. He put his head down and he said oh my God, I did wonder and I am so sorry. I explained how I knew and continued to be apologetic offering to replace etc

So then fired by MN, I said the fact that you left me to deal with it is a massive issue. And he said I was absolutely mortified and I am so so sorry. I also wasn’t certain as you thought it was sweat. I lost count of the times he said he was sorry and how he apologised. I also told him that I was absolutely grossed out that I had touched it and it was a dealbreaker for me if it ever happened again.

He’s already ordered me a new mattress and topper and pillows.

He knows what triggers this and he is determined to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

I said there are no second chances and he absolutely realises that’s it.

I can’t wait for the grilling and abuse I’m now going to get on this thread for giving him another chance. I’m sure I’m going to be accused of being desperate which I’m absolutely bloody not but I also spent some time this evening talking to some more members of staff at his restaurant who told me how much he has changed since he met me and how he talks about me all the time and they can see a difference in him. To me those are positive signs if they don’t materialise, then I’ve still got the opportunity to walk away.

Thank you so much for those people that are invested. I will continue to update if there is anything to update and if anyone is interested and if you’ve got any questions, please fire them at me.

Seriously, never been this popular in my entire life 🤣🤣 all because of a piss filled bed - hmmmm🤣

Love ya! Come at me huns!!

Literally been lurking waiting for this update! Best of luck OP! Hope it all works out and you enjoy your new mattress!

It doesn't matter that he did it. It's that he ran away without stripping the bed. Horribly entitled. Did he think the problem would disappear?

Ive been silently reading along. What sort of changes have they seen in him? That’s interesting. Well done on confronting him btw.

I’m so pleased for you & proud of how you handled it. Will keep everything crossed 🤞🏽🙌🏽❤️

So what triggers it?

Also, I'm sorry, but I'm also a bed wetter (happens every now and then, so he has my full sympathy), and there is NO WAY he didn't know. NO WAY.
So it's a saving face thing he's done, but your decision obviously if you want to give him another chance.

I think you've made the right decision. It's a minor issue if the relationship is otherwise great. Obviously if it jeeps happening that's different but I think he deserves a second chance.

Very understanding of you to be willing to give him another chance.
But if he knows his triggers, he must know he has a problem, therefore I wonder what his bed is like at home? Has he done this before? What are his triggers? Has he spoke to a doctor about it?
Make sure you get a waterproof mattress protector too!
I have to say, even if I heard all those nice things about him, I still wouldn't be able to give him a second chance. But that's just me. Id feel extremely violated having a man do that to me.

Sounds promising, I've got my fingers crossed for you @NewManIssue (let's hope he's got his legs crossed)!