New Partner Wet the Bed

[NewManIssue]

That’s it, basically.

I met someone about a month ago and it has been fantastic really good fun no issues at all, we’ve done absolutely loads together, met friends of each other and an adult child, and have lots of planned.

He came over yesterday afternoon because we were both off work and we went out for a walk had a few drinks. He made us some food. We had a few more drinks and we were both pretty drunk, I will admit.

The morning when I went over to give him a hug as the alarm was about to go off the bed was soaking, I presumed with sweat…no particular smell at this stage.

I left my bed open to air with a view to stripping the sheets after work, however when I went back in there the whole room reeked of urine and there was a huge stain and it has gone through my mattress topper and my mattress is still soaking wet as are the pillows.

I’ve never experienced this before, Although I know it can be something some men do when they are drunk…

I feel like it’s something I need to speak to him face-to-face about which I could probably do tomorrow when he finishes work at about 9:30pm but otherwise I’m unlikely to see him for a few days.

I feel a little awkward. I don’t want him embarrass him however surely it’s not the first time even if this is the first time with me since I’ve known him.

It’s not a dealbreaker initially, however if it’s a regular thing, it’s definitely a dealbreaker. I think I’m just gonna have to say, I had to sleep on the sofa tonight…the bed was still wet and it wasn’t sweat - which we initially assumed…

If anyone can give me any advice or have experienced this, please shout!

Bloody typical it has been going amazingly well, For the first time in my life, I’m with a man who is more keen on me than I am him (guards up still 🤣)

Yep agreed. Am married to a chef, have worked in hospitality for 20 years - a very very large number of chefs have either drink, drug or anger problems in my experience.

he’ll Know and hopefully be suitably embarrassed

very invested in his response op. I do think it’s possible that it’s a medical issue, not necessarily a secret alcoholic. Still pretty vile of him to leave it for you to deal with though. I would absolutely be calling him out on that.

Should you call him out at his place of work though…?

I hope the poor bloke doesn't feel awkward. Please don't embarrass him for the sake of a juicy update.

I agree, there's no way.

I can't understand the waiting to speak to him either. I'd've told him to get round asap with new sheets and mattress. There's just no way I'd have been cleaning up a grown man's piss, whilst worrying about how to raise it with him.

I'd be asking if he's had a prostate check lately.
Or heard of Tamsulosin hydrochloride.

Hmm wow. I mean I wet the bed when I was drunk!

Yup there are.

My friend is married to a man who does this. He's done it all over their house, in hotels, in friends houses, her parents house, his parents house.

Their 'old' friends from student days know and laugh about it. But as they've grown up, had children and met new people, it isn't something you generally want newer friends to find out about, and honestly, it makes her a nervous wreck every time they socialise. I feel for her.

Why the face? It's very handy to have a man who can cook 👍

Ah this is a bit of a sad thread. Just noticed it. Poor man. Imagine if he knew all these women were sadly waiting for an update/some baying for his blood because he wet the bed. And waiting for a ‘juicy update’ that the OP seems to be enjoying almost. No adult wants to wet the bed. No child does either. He’s clearly got an issue. It’s not entertainment.

I actually can't believe you are asking this question and justifying it by saying friends partners have done it when drunk!

This is very straightforward. Dump him. Raise your standards.

It's revolting. He's an adult.

I don't care what the reason is - too drunk, drugs, whatever - it's disgusting and life is too short to deal with that. You are better off alone that with even the nicest person who can't control themselves.

I'd say that anyway but on top of this, he didn't even bother to help you clean up. No one wakes in piss wet sheets and doesn't know. That's as bad as the urinating in the first place. Even if it's a medical issue (unlikely) this is as awful and he's got a responsiblity to manage his medical problems too.

I am speechless that this is even a question for you. Are you so desperate for a partner you would consider even another date? It's insane.

Oh blimey I worked in catering for years and the male chefs were big drinkers. Good luck OP

I really don't understand. Is it a British thing or a MN thing?

I've NEVER encountered this in reality, ever. Was a big drinker in my younger years and still am once in a while. Had multiple partners/boyfriends/a husband/one night stands over the years and drink was often involved. Not one of them pissed the bed, ever. I never heard this even being a thing before reading MN.

So I'd be gobsmacked and horrified, as I've never even heard of adults pissing their beds, no matter how drunk. Exceptions are small children and seriously ill people. I'd ask him to cover the cost of the ruined bedding/cleaning and then block&delete.

Unless he was very apologetic and offered to either clean it or ideally replace it this would be a deal breaker for me.

Because, as someone else has said, and my experience is the same, "...have worked in hospitality for 20 years - a very very large number of chefs have either drink, drug or anger problems in my experience"

Yeah most the chefs I know live off cigarettes and coffee 😂

I agree with you @MeliusMoriQuamServire

I don't think it's a British or MN thing. It's a people who have low standard and are mixing with people who have low standards thing. She says she has friends partners who do it too.

It's like some men get drunk and get in a fist fight in a bar and get arrested and taken down the police station. Does it happen? Yes. Does it happen to people who I count as friends and socialise with? No. Would I tolerate it in a bf? Hell no.

The reasons don't matter because he's just left without mentioning it and for her to clear up which is really really offensively rude. Who does he think OP is? His chambermaid?

I agree. Some people are clearly just enjoying mocking a man and punching down for low level entertainment

Thought it was coke that chefs were into but maybe this one likes ket.

I don't think they are mutually exclusive!

Jesus Christ… @SirQuintusAurelius sounds like you’re particularly triggered by a bit of bed wetting! I disagree that giving someone the benefit of doubt or a chance to discus or explain equates to desperation! In fact, it feels more “desperate” to move on so quickly! It’s just a bit of pee…

He’s a chef.

Somebody said ketamine bladder earlier. Could be.

Maybe OP's next BF should be a musician.

How awful OP, nightmare, in your own bed!!

Wonder if he's like a dog marking out his territory.

A new mattress is the least he owes you.

I wouldn't be having him anywhere near it.