New Partner Wet the Bed

[NewManIssue]

That’s it, basically.

I met someone about a month ago and it has been fantastic really good fun no issues at all, we’ve done absolutely loads together, met friends of each other and an adult child, and have lots of planned.

He came over yesterday afternoon because we were both off work and we went out for a walk had a few drinks. He made us some food. We had a few more drinks and we were both pretty drunk, I will admit.

The morning when I went over to give him a hug as the alarm was about to go off the bed was soaking, I presumed with sweat…no particular smell at this stage.

I left my bed open to air with a view to stripping the sheets after work, however when I went back in there the whole room reeked of urine and there was a huge stain and it has gone through my mattress topper and my mattress is still soaking wet as are the pillows.

I’ve never experienced this before, Although I know it can be something some men do when they are drunk…

I feel like it’s something I need to speak to him face-to-face about which I could probably do tomorrow when he finishes work at about 9:30pm but otherwise I’m unlikely to see him for a few days.

I feel a little awkward. I don’t want him embarrass him however surely it’s not the first time even if this is the first time with me since I’ve known him.

It’s not a dealbreaker initially, however if it’s a regular thing, it’s definitely a dealbreaker. I think I’m just gonna have to say, I had to sleep on the sofa tonight…the bed was still wet and it wasn’t sweat - which we initially assumed…

If anyone can give me any advice or have experienced this, please shout!

Bloody typical it has been going amazingly well, For the first time in my life, I’m with a man who is more keen on me than I am him (guards up still 🤣)

You could try dragging the mattress out in the sunniest spot if your garden on the sunniest day. One of my children had a lot of bedtime accidents and there’s no way I could afford to keeping buying mattresses so I did that a few times. It’s worth a try. You have to drag it out the house to get rid of it anyway!

How the fact that someone, one month in, has pissed in and ruined your bed is, not a dealbreaker makes me wonder what on earth in your world would be a dealbreaker.

Just when I think the bar on here could not get any lower…

Checking back for the update.

God some of you mumsnetters make me laugh….all conquerors of making mountains out of mole hills, leaping to conclusions, red flags all over the place, giving full imagined backstories. Seek therapy? For what? Because her new bf peed the bed and she’s asking how to confront him? 😂

It is a symptom of alcoholism if it was definitely wee.

There is a big difference between the smell of a new puppy or little girl’s urine and that of an adult male full of alcohol and testosterone. Trust me (from one who knows 🤢), that mattress isn’t coming back from this.

Good luck tonight OP. You’ve had lots of comments and advice (and plenty of nonsense from those who either can’t or won’t read what you’ve actually said) and you sound like you have your head screwed on so I’m sure you’ll come to the sensible conclusion. For what it’s worth, my feeling is that he knows very well what he did, you don’t get to age 50 and not know what it feels like to piss the bed, and it will not be the first time this has happened, whatever he tries to tell you. He may have some lovely qualities and you get on like a house on fire but waking up in someone else’s beery piss, even only occasionally, will very quickly outweigh all of that.

Can you imagine if you knew that you might piss the bed when you’d had a few drinks? If that didn’t turn you teetotal, if not for your own self-respect then for that of whoever shares your bed, I don’t know what would. For someone to carry on drinking when they know that is a possible result does not make them a good person. Vile.

It would give me the ick frankly. And he's not had the decency to apologise?

I'd not even bother with a conversation I'd just quietly get rid.

Good luck with the conversation Op.

I'd expect a grovelling apology, a new mattress and waterproof mattress protector at the very least. If he doesn't offer that, throw him back in the pond for some other sucker to clean his piss up.

Nah! You would have thought if he had any respect for you and himself he would have striped the bed and put the sheets on a boil and then assess the damage to said topper and mattress. The fact you have got on with your day and had to then deal with that! Nah thank you next!

He would be an ex, if it were me. Not because of the pee, because of the cheek!

Come on. You're telling me this guy is Brad Pitt except the fact he occasionally pisses the bed and leaves it 😂

Good luck with the conversation OP.

he left and said nothing? Well…that sets up his expectations for you right here and then.

fs he must've known he'd pissed himself! You couldn't be lying in your own pish and not realise.
None of this makes sense (thus I hope this isn't some weird fetish thread). How could both of you get out of a ringing wet (with actual pish) bed and not discuss it! I'd've had the sheets off and him out the door in seconds.
Regardless of any extenuating circumstances, I would be beyond ick and wouldn't be seeing the filthy twonk ever again. Even the thought of it is making me queasy 🤢

Mine used to say it was after 5 pints he did it 😆

Red flags:
1- he drinks a lot.
2- urinates on the bed.
3- Doesn't notice he woke up in a bed covered in pee.
4- maybe he does notice but doesn't bother to say anything.

@NewManIssue so you left him sleeping in (what you assumed to be) sweat but when you got home later and aired the bed you realised it was piss?

Or did you both get up together, you aired the bed and later realised it was piss?

Either way he has to know what he did? He'd have woken up wet and pissy?

I'm wouldn't be hopeful about this. He knows what he did and he's made a choice to ignore it.

Hi everyone, thanks again for the good wishes and good luck for the conversation. I don’t really think I need it. It’s only gonna go one way or the other…

I think mostly the most recent posters are only repeating what’s been said over the last 500+ messages. I have been very much a reader of MN more than someone that takes part for the last 25ish years - who knew this would be pretty much my posting debut 😳

I won’t be seeing him till around 9 but I will update when I get home maybe around 915😬🤣

If he only knew 500+ women knew about his bed wetting incident and that he was just about to be quizzed on it……he would be horrified😂

Best of luck with your meeting. I would say he’s mortified and was on the back foot when he said it was sweat. I think it is a medical issue which he needs to get checked.

He certainly knew in the morning he'd done it this time and didn't apologise or clean up

Also you were gunna leave it if it was just sweat?!?!

9:15 we will all be assembled for the update 🤣

I would love to be a fly on the wall during this conversation and hope he doesn't piss in the hotel bed.
What are you going to tell the person who removes the mattress from the property ?
Or you could leave it steaming on a hot day in his front garden.

Maybe he was so drunk and thought it was you who peed the bed! 🥴
He doesn’t want to embarrass you by saying anything 🥴

In all seriousness, I’d get the ick from this and I’d be furious he didn’t clean up after his mess.