Husbands pitbull becoming snappy in old age, and I’m pregnant

[Oliveover28]

It took me two years to convince my now husband to keep his pitbull dog with his mum for me to move into his house with my two small dogs. The reason for me not wanting my two dogs around his dog is his dog previously attacked and killed his mums small dog. Apparently he done this because the smaller dog kept snapping at him and the family seem to think it’s justified? Bear in mind this was a teacup senior dog. Awful.

anyway the agreement was the pitbull can come back once we buy a bigger house as I pushed for the can’t separate 3 dogs in a small house excuse. Anyway we are looking to buy a house this year, and husband is saying why wouldn’t his dog come back to live in the house he buys. Well, lately the dog has been snapping at people a little more, husband says oh it’s old age.

problem is, I’m now pregnant. I feel extremely uncomfortable around this dog, this dog around my dogs and now this dog around a defenseless baby? He says we will keep them separate, but that sounds like hell having a new born, and 3 dogs to keep separate whilst he’s at work all day. He said sometimes he will take him to work, and I could probably push for only having the dog at home on the weekends. But still, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to relax in my own home and I want to be in the best mindset possible to raise my first child. I want to feel relaxed at an already stressful time.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to say to my husband as to why I don’t want his dog coming back. He is saying oh he only snaps at people he doesn’t know, not his own family. I will also add the dog only snaps at weak people (a senior with cancer, and a friend with MS) it’s like they can sense weakness. He fully believes this dog is going to see our baby as his family, but this dog is already ten years old.

I remember your previous posts. You were give so much advice and everyone was telling you it was a horrible idea to move in with this man.

You are now bringing an innocent child into this.

You need to start acting in the best interest of your child and leave him. I really don’t understand how you could be so naive.

Do you really want to wait and see if a pitbull will attack your dogs or god forbid your child?

I'm a huge dog lover, and to me this is ridiculous. This dog is clearly dangerous and should have been PTS after killing another dog. I can't believe your MIL agreed to take it in given it was her dog it killed. This speaks volumes about your DH, who must have some kind of power over her to persuade her to look after an animal that took her own beloved pet away.

I'm also pregnant and live with two dogs who have never shown themselves to be a risk to children or people, but they do occasionally have scraps with each other (maybe twice a year, when the younger one gets too boisterous and the old one decides they've had enough play). I'm nervous about managing them moving forward when I'll be prioritising the baby and may miss cues that they're about to fall out. But it's only ever between the two of them, and they're matched in size and stature. In your circumstances this is a dog with a proven track record of extreme aggressive directed at both people and animals - your smaller dogs and baby are at huge risk here and the right thing to do is to walk away from DH if he refuses to put you and the child first.

This man and his family can't be trusted. I would leave and report the dog - it's a dangerous dog. Someone, or at the very least another animal, is going to be very hurt or killed.
Your DP is incredibly stupid. A snappy older dog is only going to get older and "snappier". It's a killer. You know that.
Have you informed your midwife about this?

You have chosen the most god awful man to have a relationship with, and now you are tied indefinitely to someone that has allowed a small dog to be mauled to death because the little dog ‘deserved it’?

He has now dumped a dangerous savage dog with his own mother, rather than be responsible and have it PTS. He is an absolute monster and you are having a child with him now, and moving in!

You are going to let this irresponsible, psychopathic man to parent a newborn?

In your place I would be getting a termination or be moving a very long way from both the man, his dog and his awful family. You and your baby are not safe. That dog could turn on you. It will certainly turn on a crying baby, and your dogs stand no chance.

Why you have allowed this to carry on I have no idea, but for goodness sake take action now before you end up as a headline and another statistic.

Tbh, you were selfish for demanding your OH move his dog for yours. That would have been a no-no from me, whatever the breed.
However, you promised his dog could return, now you are to renege on that promise (altho if the dog is snappy, it shouldn't be near anyone), but you keep your pets.
That's shit for your OH.

Did you miss the part where his dog killed mauled to death another dog?? Of course she is going to reverse her decision - she will have a tiny defenceless newborn here soon enough. Social services will probably remove the child as soon as they see a dog like that anyway.

Yes, you should. Any dog breed is capable of attacking anyone, particularly if the owners attention is fixated on something else.
And it's fair that you do. You made your OH get rid of his dog

I have had dogs around all of my children as do most families with no problems at all.

What you do is you get on a plane and move country before you have the baby

If you have the baby in the USA you are trapped there

If you leave him later after the baby is born then he will get visitation- how careful do you think he will be with the pitball and baby situation if you aren't there?

You give him an ultimatum- either I move in or dog moves in. If I move in that dog will never ever come in this house and if it does then I will be moving out immediately. What is it going to be?. If he makes any noises about you being unreasonable then you get on that plane and leave immediately. To do anything less would be being negligent.

Why are you having a baby with this horrible man?

I said the dog shouldn't come back. But that still makes OP unreasonable for forcing one dog out for her dogs. And for promising the dog can return, when obviously now it cannot.

Same here, but not pitbulls that have killed another dog. Our biggest dog is regularly mistaken for a wolf because of his colouring and huge size but he has never so much as growled at a person. The day he snapped at anyone would be the day he would be taken to the pound, very sadly.

When this dog dies, what will he do? He'll likely buy another Pit Bull.

Get on a plane.

Does he have a certificate of exemption for this animal, as “In the UK, owning a Pit Bull Terrier is illegal under the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991”? If not, the dog can be seized and he’s liable for a fine of up to £5,000. I’d be making an anonymous phone call to the police about a dangerous dog, and mentioning the fact that it’s already killed one small dog.

This covers what your focus should be.

They live in America

HRTFT. You can't change his behaviour (or the dog's) so you leave. There is no choice. If I was you, I'd be leaving for your home country before DC is born.

This is the most important post I've ever seen on MN. As in, the one for which ignoring it will have the gravest consequences for the OP. Please read it and really take it in, OP.

This is pretty much the exact same scenario and may help: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4747159-asking-him-to-get-rid-of-his-dog-after-7-years?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Honesty, how to people get themselves into these situations.

I'm not a bolshy lay down the law type in the scheme of things op, but I can guarantee I wouldn't be having this conversation.

You do ring a bell, you've posted before i think? Either flat refuse to discuss this dog madness. Or if, as I suspect, there are other issues here, then think carefully about returning to your home country before baby is born.

The dog should not even be alive! It is a danger to everyone. Op hasn’t forced the dog out, she is too afraid to live with it, regardless of whether she has dogs or not, as anyone would be. You sound very young. This is not a tit for tat situation, the dog should have been immediately put to sleep, and shouldn’t be living anywhere!

How the mother is tolerating caring and living with the same dog that killed her own little dog is beyond me. I imagine his mother was bullied into it by the thug op calls her partner.

The monster has to go, it may not like even the hormone related scents that a pregnant woman has.
Now for the part that many will disagree with: - Your small dogs might have to go. They are very used to having a 'family' that regards them as important. They will not be happy with the baby.
As you progress the pregnancy they may well become disturbed, taking things peeing on things in the house chewing items they previously left alone.
Rehome them, Spring Clean and look forward to a calmer life with baby (and bloke).

You keep that dog away from the baby .....

Even if you have to slip something in it's food!

Just keep it away op....if your stupid husband won't listen then you as a mother do what you have to do!

It should have been put down after it killed the poor smaller dog anyway 😪

Massive dog lover here. This is not worth the risk. It won’t be happening. You’ll be so protective of your baby. He’s being short sighted.

You say no.