Husbands pitbull becoming snappy in old age, and I’m pregnant

[Oliveover28]

It took me two years to convince my now husband to keep his pitbull dog with his mum for me to move into his house with my two small dogs. The reason for me not wanting my two dogs around his dog is his dog previously attacked and killed his mums small dog. Apparently he done this because the smaller dog kept snapping at him and the family seem to think it’s justified? Bear in mind this was a teacup senior dog. Awful.

anyway the agreement was the pitbull can come back once we buy a bigger house as I pushed for the can’t separate 3 dogs in a small house excuse. Anyway we are looking to buy a house this year, and husband is saying why wouldn’t his dog come back to live in the house he buys. Well, lately the dog has been snapping at people a little more, husband says oh it’s old age.

problem is, I’m now pregnant. I feel extremely uncomfortable around this dog, this dog around my dogs and now this dog around a defenseless baby? He says we will keep them separate, but that sounds like hell having a new born, and 3 dogs to keep separate whilst he’s at work all day. He said sometimes he will take him to work, and I could probably push for only having the dog at home on the weekends. But still, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to relax in my own home and I want to be in the best mindset possible to raise my first child. I want to feel relaxed at an already stressful time.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to say to my husband as to why I don’t want his dog coming back. He is saying oh he only snaps at people he doesn’t know, not his own family. I will also add the dog only snaps at weak people (a senior with cancer, and a friend with MS) it’s like they can sense weakness. He fully believes this dog is going to see our baby as his family, but this dog is already ten years old.

Thanks. It doesn’t help all his family will tell him oh you guys need to “make it work”, and have said they don’t agree with him “giving away his dog”. Absolutely ridiculous. They don’t need to agree with me.

You say you’re not willing to take the risk and I think you’re absolutely right not to. But what does that look like in practice?

You need to be clear with him because he clearly isn’t going to prioritise your baby when it comes to the dog. You need to tell him your baby will not, at any point, be living with this dog. So if your partner wants to live with the dog, he’ll be doing so without you and the baby.

I would be, tbh, deeply concerned about the ability of a grown man to prioritise a tiny baby if he thinks it should be raised under the same roof as a pitbull let alone one with a history of violence.

You’d be mad to allow the dog to share a home with your defenceless baby.

I think he sees it as his job to also protect his dog though, that’s the problem. To me it’s insanity.

You say "this relationship is over," and mean it.

Why even contemplate staying with a man who is showing that he will be a danger to his child before he/she is even born?

He clearly doesn't have the ability to be a good father if he loves his dog more and is willing to take these kinds of risks.

Go back to tour home country before the baby is born, and then you no longer can. If you break up after baby is born, you're stuck here and he gets unsupervised access.

Have the child adopted, it's its best chance. Hopefully it will get parents who are prepared to put its welfare first

And that is exactly why you leave. The dog doesn't take priority over the baby. If he can't make the appropriate choice, it should be over between you so that your child is being protected by you.

They are right - he shouldn't give it away, the dog is dangerous, he should kill it.

You say bye.

Snap Imy shihtzu is so loving to my little one. He's the same like how dare you go to the bathroom or get a cup of tea ! haha. He seems to sense when she's unwell too he stays nearer to her and then we get a bad cough or cold it's strange. You can't ever trust them 100% something could spook them but my dog has been so chilled and adored my youngest from day 1. I did have her at home too so it was nice he heard her first cries and shot in the room to see. I've had him 8 years he's never once growled at one of our children he loves them but I do a lot of training with him. I still think certain breeds are better for families for sure definitely not Pitbull

Are you the lady who was moving to tv US to be with this guy and was worried about your dogs? And now there is a baby in the mix?
Honestly just go home now before the baby is born and touch are stuck there for ever with this guy. You will never relax in the house, it only takes one sleep deprived moment and the dog is no longer separate.

OP, if you are set on living with this man, honestly, just move in, wait until your husband is at work (before the baby is born, obviously) and go and get the dog put to sleep. It's a dangerous dog and has no business existing in society. Tell your husband it ran out the door and got hit by a car or something. In fact don't do it yourself due to the risk, get someone trusted to do it.

Absolutely do not let that thing in the vicinity of your newborn baby.

But really, do you really want to be with a man who not only would risk the life of other animals, which is bad enough, but a tiny, newborn child?!? I wouldn't.

I agree but what do you say to someone who says “we will keep them separate” and is buying the house…

NO

Thats what you say. NO

And if he won't agree then you don't move with him. You do everything but choose to live with a dog you know has already killed another dog and already snaps. This man doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone's safety. He wouldn't chose to inflict it on his poor mum and to be honest, I would have seen him fibbing his dog off onto his mother and minimising its aggression and past killing as a massive fucking red flag and ended the relationship instead of choosing to have children with him.

Oh OP are you that poster again? This is madness.

OP you aren't in the States are you? This bloke sounds like he was dropped on his head. Come back before you have the baby or you might not be able to leave.

This

Absolutely this!

OP, the bottom line is this is a disaster waiting to happen. If you take the risk, you take it knowing the potentially devastating outcome. This isn’t a question you should even need to ask, you should already know the answer! I’m sorry to say, but your baby already has one parent who isn’t willing to prioritise her/his safety, so please make sure s(he) atleast has one who will!

No way would I have that dog around a newborn baby

This actually would be LTB territory for me. A bad tempered dog with a newborn? No way, absolutely not.

Umm, how about 'Do what you want, I'm not moving with you?'.

💯

working class problems.

Completely agree it would not even cross my mind it's just 100% no way that dog is coming by near my baby or my dogs. The husband is clearly a complete moron who is putting his dog before you your baby and your small dogs who are vulnerable. Unreal do you really want to stay married to such a loser. Also if you continue and allow this and anything happens it's manslaughter in USA 2nd degree life means life out there and so it should, magine the guilt you would feel and the loss can't really believe you need to ask either.

It seems to me whilst you are happily nodding agreement with all the PP'S concerns about your situation you're not actually going to take steps to deal with it sensibly. It is concerning that he is also likely to have the child staying with him at some point in the future; neither he nor his relatives think the dog is a problem, this is a tragedy waiting to happen. The dog is 10 let's hope he doesn't make it to 11 for all your sakes.

@Oliveover28 you say “goodbye”

There is just absolutely no way. Just not worth the risk