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Original poster

Husbands pitbull becoming snappy in old age, and I’m pregnant

367 replies

Oliveover28 · 10/04/2025 22:17

It took me two years to convince my now husband to keep his pitbull dog with his mum for me to move into his house with my two small dogs. The reason for me not wanting my two dogs around his dog is his dog previously attacked and killed his mums small dog. Apparently he done this because the smaller dog kept snapping at him and the family seem to think it’s justified? Bear in mind this was a teacup senior dog. Awful.

anyway the agreement was the pitbull can come back once we buy a bigger house as I pushed for the can’t separate 3 dogs in a small house excuse. Anyway we are looking to buy a house this year, and husband is saying why wouldn’t his dog come back to live in the house he buys. Well, lately the dog has been snapping at people a little more, husband says oh it’s old age.

problem is, I’m now pregnant. I feel extremely uncomfortable around this dog, this dog around my dogs and now this dog around a defenseless baby? He says we will keep them separate, but that sounds like hell having a new born, and 3 dogs to keep separate whilst he’s at work all day. He said sometimes he will take him to work, and I could probably push for only having the dog at home on the weekends. But still, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to relax in my own home and I want to be in the best mindset possible to raise my first child. I want to feel relaxed at an already stressful time.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to say to my husband as to why I don’t want his dog coming back. He is saying oh he only snaps at people he doesn’t know, not his own family. I will also add the dog only snaps at weak people (a senior with cancer, and a friend with MS) it’s like they can sense weakness. He fully believes this dog is going to see our baby as his family, but this dog is already ten years old.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Bearlady · 11/04/2025 10:32

TubeScreamer · 10/04/2025 22:52

No child of mine wouid ever be in the same house as a pitbull. I say that as a dog person.

@TubeScreamer surely as a dog person you should know that it doesn't matter which breed it is. Any pet is still an animal capable of harm. I have had large terrier types around my small kids with no issues fortunately. I understand though why people feel uneasy due to their size and strength.

TinyFlamingo · 11/04/2025 10:39

Life with a newborn is carnage having the extra responsibility is a no go, that's without his dog being a killer and sensitive to noise. (If a small dog yapping triggered it, how is it going to react to a newborn screaming). - hard no based on safety and end of.

But, even if we could separate for the newborn years. What happens when baby begins to toddle around and have two year old full on meltdowns. This is a fatal accident waiting to happen.

There is nothing more unattractive than an irresponsible animal owner. This dog won't be rehomed it will be PTS.

But also what happens when you visit mum, with baby and/or toddler. Same scenario!

This is a hill I would die on, emphatic no.

GreenFields07 · 11/04/2025 11:01

An article in the Daily Mail this morning OP:

A six-month-old baby girl has died after being mauled by her family's pit bull, it has emerged.
The infant, identified by her family as Kyomi Temple, was attacked last week at her family's apartment in Baytown, Texas, part of the greater Houston metropolitan area.

Please dont let this be your baby!!

WendyA22 · 11/04/2025 11:07

Oliveover28 · 10/04/2025 22:37

I agree but what do you say to someone who says “we will keep them separate” and is buying the house….

Show quote history

You say that it's not feasible to try and keep the dog away from a new baby, then a toddler.

You CANNOT take the chance!

Bennetty · 11/04/2025 11:08

I am very much an animal person and tend to advocate for animals above a lot of other things. This is not one of those times. I also can't advocate for your husband in this case, he seems to have no clear sense of right or wrong and his judgment is atrocious. I would never want to raise a child with this man. Leave the man with his dog, and go find a safe future for you and your child.

Beccaboo0979 · 11/04/2025 11:10

Oliveover28 · 10/04/2025 22:37

I agree but what do you say to someone who says “we will keep them separate” and is buying the house….

Show quote history

I'd say, "if you want me to live in the house with our baby, then the dog is a deal breaker."
If he uses the 'I'm buying the house' it is a case of 'fine live alone with your dog....see where his priorities lie.
You and baby, or dog.

MistyMoistyMorningCloud · 11/04/2025 11:13

I would probably leave him over this anyway and come back to UK asap, as with his attitude he'd probably be visiting dog with baby at his mum's anyway and you'll never escape this.

Sassybooklover · 11/04/2025 11:16

The dog killed another dog. It doesn't matter if the other dog 'snapped' at it or not. Clearly your husband's dog, can't be around other dogs. It's now older, and is snapping at people. These are all huge glaringly obvious red flags. No dog can be fully trusted around a baby, but a dog that has already killed one dog and snaps at people, is a danger to a child (newborn or otherwise). You can't practically look after a newborn, and manage 3 dogs, 1 of which is unpredictable. Your priority is your baby, and it should be your husband's too. The safety of your child is paramount, and there's no way on planet earth a dog should come before that. Your husband has zero idea how his dog is going to react to a child, let alone a newborn. Dogs can get jealous, and also babies are naturally noisy, it's their way of communicating. The dog is likely to find the noise from the baby an irritant. The dog has proven capable of killing a dog, it's perfectly capable of mauling a child, especially a baby to death. You need to put your foot down. If he won't budge, then you move out somewhere safe.

Pherian · 11/04/2025 11:19

Oliveover28 · 10/04/2025 22:17

It took me two years to convince my now husband to keep his pitbull dog with his mum for me to move into his house with my two small dogs. The reason for me not wanting my two dogs around his dog is his dog previously attacked and killed his mums small dog. Apparently he done this because the smaller dog kept snapping at him and the family seem to think it’s justified? Bear in mind this was a teacup senior dog. Awful.

anyway the agreement was the pitbull can come back once we buy a bigger house as I pushed for the can’t separate 3 dogs in a small house excuse. Anyway we are looking to buy a house this year, and husband is saying why wouldn’t his dog come back to live in the house he buys. Well, lately the dog has been snapping at people a little more, husband says oh it’s old age.

problem is, I’m now pregnant. I feel extremely uncomfortable around this dog, this dog around my dogs and now this dog around a defenseless baby? He says we will keep them separate, but that sounds like hell having a new born, and 3 dogs to keep separate whilst he’s at work all day. He said sometimes he will take him to work, and I could probably push for only having the dog at home on the weekends. But still, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to relax in my own home and I want to be in the best mindset possible to raise my first child. I want to feel relaxed at an already stressful time.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to say to my husband as to why I don’t want his dog coming back. He is saying oh he only snaps at people he doesn’t know, not his own family. I will also add the dog only snaps at weak people (a senior with cancer, and a friend with MS) it’s like they can sense weakness. He fully believes this dog is going to see our baby as his family, but this dog is already ten years old.

Don’t buy a house with him.

The dog should have been put down when it killed another dog.

Having that dog around your new born and eventually a toddler is just stupid.

marsala1 · 11/04/2025 11:24

Willandra · 11/04/2025 05:39

That's right.

When I was a baby my family had to re-home a cocker spaniel because she was aggressive and jealous towards me.

Edited to remove random word.

Edited
Show quote history

Cocker spaniels, as adorable as they mostly are can get in a rage. I wouldn't have one with a baby.

Uricon2 · 11/04/2025 11:25

I don't know why the OP continues to ask for advice on MN when she's ignored all that given on her many threads in the past. It is a highly identifiable situation.

There is only one thing you need to do, next possible flight back across the Atlantic before you condemn yourself and your baby to this life for 18 years. You won't be able to leave at will with the baby when its born.

GoldEagle · 11/04/2025 11:44

Your husband has a choice, you and the baby, or his dog, one or the other, not both.

Joystir59 · 11/04/2025 11:51

Oliveover28 · 10/04/2025 22:37

I agree but what do you say to someone who says “we will keep them separate” and is buying the house….

Show quote history

What you say is " I will not live with your dangerous dog. We are finished if you move your dog in to live with me, my dogs and my baby."

WhistPie · 11/04/2025 11:58

Joystir59 · 11/04/2025 11:51

What you say is " I will not live with your dangerous dog. We are finished if you move your dog in to live with me, my dogs and my baby."

Show quote history

But she looooooves him

EPN · 11/04/2025 11:58

Dog needs to go ASAP it's insane that people keep these types of dogs around children. Well it's child endangerment in my opinion. People shouldn't own dogs that are physically capable of killing a human it's crazy. Anyone who thinks oh my dog is fine I've trained it bla bla oh he would never hurt the child. Bollocks they have no idea and they are idiots. Follow your instincts you are 100% right. Your uncomfortable around this Dog you know what needs to happen.

EPN · 11/04/2025 12:01

Derbee · 10/04/2025 22:41

What do you say to someone who is so weak and clueless that they have moved in with a man who has a dog that has killed another dog, but doesn’t really see it as a problem, and decides to have a baby with him?

Show quote history

I mean it sounds harsh but it's fair if your gut is telling you something you have to listen. This guy is a moron he needs to get rid of his stupid fucking dog and if he won't you need to walk away and refuse him access to the child in a house with a dog like that. The dog needs to go

EPN · 11/04/2025 12:03

I mean ffs these type of dogs are a fucking epidemic. There's no reason to have them. And they always seem to be owned be absolutely stupid rough arse idiots who you wouldn't trust with the remote control let alone a dog that could take your arm off. It's a disgrace that anyone would contemplate having one around a child.

DrRedT · 11/04/2025 12:11

I took a 999 call, a child under 12 months, family dog. Child didn’t survive.

worst call of my life.

do not be that parent screaming down the phone at me.

Codlingmoths · 11/04/2025 12:13

sunbum · 11/04/2025 04:07

The mum in the Bennard case I linked ro earlier in Tehnesse was weariing her baby in a sling and holding her toddler and the pitbulls ripped them off her and ripped them apart.

Show quote history

This makes me feel ill. To think the op hasn’t already left the man and fled back to her country when this is the risk she is putting her baby in…

Bonbon249 · 11/04/2025 12:21

Does your DH not think that dog would see a baby as 'weak' or you when you are newly post partum? I love animals and am all for giving a dog a chance but this one has proved itself to be aggressive so, no I wouldn't have it in the home with my baby. Also, very surprised his mum took it in, it having killed her dog. I don't think I would.

Vye1988 · 11/04/2025 12:23

Oliveover28 · 10/04/2025 22:17

It took me two years to convince my now husband to keep his pitbull dog with his mum for me to move into his house with my two small dogs. The reason for me not wanting my two dogs around his dog is his dog previously attacked and killed his mums small dog. Apparently he done this because the smaller dog kept snapping at him and the family seem to think it’s justified? Bear in mind this was a teacup senior dog. Awful.

anyway the agreement was the pitbull can come back once we buy a bigger house as I pushed for the can’t separate 3 dogs in a small house excuse. Anyway we are looking to buy a house this year, and husband is saying why wouldn’t his dog come back to live in the house he buys. Well, lately the dog has been snapping at people a little more, husband says oh it’s old age.

problem is, I’m now pregnant. I feel extremely uncomfortable around this dog, this dog around my dogs and now this dog around a defenseless baby? He says we will keep them separate, but that sounds like hell having a new born, and 3 dogs to keep separate whilst he’s at work all day. He said sometimes he will take him to work, and I could probably push for only having the dog at home on the weekends. But still, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to relax in my own home and I want to be in the best mindset possible to raise my first child. I want to feel relaxed at an already stressful time.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to say to my husband as to why I don’t want his dog coming back. He is saying oh he only snaps at people he doesn’t know, not his own family. I will also add the dog only snaps at weak people (a senior with cancer, and a friend with MS) it’s like they can sense weakness. He fully believes this dog is going to see our baby as his family, but this dog is already ten years old.

Would absolutely not have that dog in the house with a new baby and two smaller dogs to separate, exhausted thinking about it (I adore dogs, this poor dog has been let down).

I would say however you lied from the start, you never intended to allow this dog back into the home regardless of the house size, he was daft to believe you. You made this bed unfortunately.

DraigCymraeg · 11/04/2025 12:38

Oliveover28 · 10/04/2025 22:17

It took me two years to convince my now husband to keep his pitbull dog with his mum for me to move into his house with my two small dogs. The reason for me not wanting my two dogs around his dog is his dog previously attacked and killed his mums small dog. Apparently he done this because the smaller dog kept snapping at him and the family seem to think it’s justified? Bear in mind this was a teacup senior dog. Awful.

anyway the agreement was the pitbull can come back once we buy a bigger house as I pushed for the can’t separate 3 dogs in a small house excuse. Anyway we are looking to buy a house this year, and husband is saying why wouldn’t his dog come back to live in the house he buys. Well, lately the dog has been snapping at people a little more, husband says oh it’s old age.

problem is, I’m now pregnant. I feel extremely uncomfortable around this dog, this dog around my dogs and now this dog around a defenseless baby? He says we will keep them separate, but that sounds like hell having a new born, and 3 dogs to keep separate whilst he’s at work all day. He said sometimes he will take him to work, and I could probably push for only having the dog at home on the weekends. But still, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to relax in my own home and I want to be in the best mindset possible to raise my first child. I want to feel relaxed at an already stressful time.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to say to my husband as to why I don’t want his dog coming back. He is saying oh he only snaps at people he doesn’t know, not his own family. I will also add the dog only snaps at weak people (a senior with cancer, and a friend with MS) it’s like they can sense weakness. He fully believes this dog is going to see our baby as his family, but this dog is already ten years old.

I'm sorry OP - you know the answer don't you?
We have always owned dogs, very well trained dogs, they never snapped or attacked anybody.
That doesn't mean we trusted them - ANY dog can turn.
This Pitbull is extremely dangerous, it should already have been put down. It has attacked and killed already.
Are you seriously even thinking about having it near your baby?
Please, please don't.

YourWinter · 11/04/2025 12:40

OP you asked the question. You’ve had pages of answers all saying the same thing. Will you listen?

LizziesCat · 11/04/2025 12:56

Oliveover28 · 11/04/2025 01:00

Now he is saying he doesn’t trust my two small dogs around the baby and I should get rid of mine too?

Show quote history

Then you agree to rehome your 2 dogs as well. If that is the only way you can get him to not have a pit bull in the same house as your baby.

MsJinks · 11/04/2025 13:01

Like everyone else I can hardly believe I'm reading this.
The very least thing - though none of you seem to care about this tbh and it will impact on your child ultimately - is that none of the dogs are going to be happy - that includes his pittie who is not going to be happy moving into a new home, with some new people, one of which is nervous of him - rightly so but dogs don't like it when you're fearful - he will also be mainly sidelined from the family.
I accept animals need to be PTS when aggressive but I do mainly blame their owners, and your guy is exactly why I do so - the dog isn't being cared for correctly, if it ever has been, it needs the vet and it doesn't need to move into this 'bigger house'. I mean it should have been pts and I don't know why the mum can stand it living with her - so I presume that whatever your guy wants is exactly what everyone bends over to give him.
Your own dogs will be very scared too - a room or 2 apart won't stop that - and why do they have to be pushed out of their family for a nasty dog - being scared will then make them aggressive too, when you already have the problem of not trusting them around your baby (I hope!)
This is before you even think about the actual baby - a living human being who does actually have to come above any dog's needs - though your guy has no thought for it obviously. If the child or dogs or you don't end up dead it would be a terrible existence of fear - and I expect he'll replace his dog at some point with another willy waving type that he can't be arsed even to care for properly.
If you hang around waiting much longer you will never, ever be able to leave - probably soon would just look forward to the end of time, or the dog just solving it all - that sounds harsh but it's so beyond my comprehension here, and honestly I am no mumsnet naice person living a wholesome perfect life ever and normally at least understand why it's hard to leave - can't do that here though.