Yes, you do live with the possibility he may do it again BUT I think you live with a vague possibility of that happening within any relationship.
Yes, you do make a statement that you accept what he has done BUT you also make a statement that you can move on from that, that you love him enough to forgive him and build a 'new' relationship with him. You will never again have the relationship you had but with a lot of hard work you could have a good relationship.
I think at the moment you are thinking a heck of a lot, maybe too much and maybe too far ahead. Right now I think you should be taking it one step at a time, enjoying his company, letting him take you out, letting him do all the work. Try not to think of what you would like at the end of it, for the three of you to be back to being a family. If you think to hard about that you are in danger of rushing things to get there and compromising yourself, overlooking things you should be seeing IYSWIM.
You are also in danger of letting your fears of what might happen spoil things. Worrying about what might happen is like paying a tax before it is due. I would say you just need to stay alert, you yourself will know if things feel right or not, just don't fib to yourself in an effort to get back together with him. Be true to yourself!
I think I know what you want, you want your husband back, you want the life you had and the future you had planned. It was all very viciously (and quite deviously) taken away from you. Sometimes I wonder if you are still in shock, if you can quite believe what has happened to you. It is a horrible realisation, it really is but the hard fact is that you are never going to have back what was taken away from you. If you were to live with H again you may have to get used to living with a different H to the one you lived with first time round. So, ask yourself this, do you like the new H, just as he is or, do you like the man you believe he is? Do you love the new H or are you still in love with the H you believe him still to be? This is where you have to be true to yourself because if you aren't you will find yourself going round in circles constantly.
If you do love the new H, if you do like him and you do accept the changes in him and in the relationship then go for it! All the other stuff is to be worked on from within yourself, you will have to learn to trust him, you will have to learn to be secure within yourself etc or it may be your insecurities and doubts that will spoils things.
Now personally I wouldn't trust him not to hurt me again, I would trust myself that I could cope and deal with it without going under. You have to do whatever it takes to protect yourself. xxx