Glam & Fab Part 5 - Summer Loving

[macdoodle]

Gosh time for a new thread already
I'm up for a half term meet - tis the week of the bank hol here 26 May - I will be with sis in Hitchin prob from Sun 25 May most of that week so up for London or roundabout meetup

Sounds awful LL hope you're feeling much better now?

I think punching her would be too nice! If I was the one in the car and she was walking I know what I would have liked to do!!

She's just a pathetic little slapper who is actually proud that she made a man leave his wife and child for her. That's a victory in her eyes. Shows her that she's so much better/more important than his own wife and son.

I don't feel anywhere near this anger at women who genuinely fall for married men over a period of time and things lead from there. There's still no excuse. But at least it can be rationalised and in some ways, understood.

She told me straight to my face, she fancied him, she wanted sex regardless of the consequences (because she's 'addicted' to sex ) and then started to get jealous at him coming home to me, or when he came in her shop with ds because she wanted a child so much and wanted to be with him to bring up ds because ds is 'so gorgeous'
And she did everything she could to get my life, my husband and my son.

(In the last few months she'd even looked into how her and H could get custody of ds and what they would have to do in terms of living together etc to force me to allow ds to be in her company! Can you believe that!)

And that arsehole fell for all of it!

She was so addicted, and he was the most handsome man she'd ever met, and she just had to be with him as he made her so happy....

Can you tell I'm having a bad day!!!

Baffy, you have to be very strong and not be intimidated by her, if you don't feel it, fake it! You have to do it otherwise you are right, she will never be out of your lives because she knows she has some control. You can not let her initimidate you!! Whilever you are thinking in a defeatest way she is winning, she is getting exactly what she wants. Whenever you see her try not to show any reaction whatsoever, if she pulls up right in front of you ever again just walk around the back of the car, don't even give her a glimpse. Everytime she does something vindictive or nasty log it, log it with the police even. Keep a record, just incase. One day she will be out of your life, I promise you, until then you have to be strong

LL I hope you are feeling better soon. I've never had it myself but I have heard you get it from having a lot of sex maybe thats why I have never had it

You need a bad day now and then to be able to appreciate the good days.

Thanks ladies - improvement from last night thank feck.

TFM - we did the day before but wouldn't exactly say it was a lot

Baffy - sounds to me like she has some kind of personality disorder. What a twisted woman. The audacity of her And to try to force access.............unbelievable. She sounds like every woman's nightmare Yes, you are right............punching is too nice.

Thanks TFM

I didn't show her any reaction at all. But inside I was a wreck!

It's just so bloody frustrating. I had such a lovely little quiet life. Beautiful home, perfect husband and child, good job
It all had to go wrong somewhere didn't it!

I just can't believe a bloody teenager can cause such devastation to so many lives.

It's all H's fault though. He made the final decisions. I have to remember that.

She's not getting another minute of my thoughts!
(Well I'll try anyway!!)

Thanks LL

Do you think I should get all these rants out on H?!

I had a bit of a go last night, but then went to bed and decided to just shut up, stop the contact for a little while and try to sort it out in my own head.

But surely he should be listening to what I'm going through and be there for me so I can get all this stuff out!

Or not?!

Will I just push him further into oblivion??

How often do you see him Baffy?

It depends. Sometimes daily if it co-incides that I'm home when he's dropping ds back.

Sometimes can be over a week if I'm working late for a few nights and ds gets dropped with my mum instead.

We have pretty much daily contact though. Either just general stuff or about ds.

H OW exactly the same Baffy - she wanted my life and didn't care what she did - except she didn't want my lovely DD1 she wanted her own and thought that when she did he would play happy families with her and forget all about us
Bit miserable today - missing baby something terrible, worried milk will dry up, birthday today (never good as was a week later I found out about OW)..and because of shenanigans of H on weekend I don't want him babysitting tonight (my night out usually) so don't even get to go out on my birthday (TBH not that I feel up for it and my lovely friends are coming over when DD's in bed with cheese and wine)...oh and solicitor next week and will have to tell H (not looking forward to it at all)
On the up side - work is not too bad and it is quite nice to be using my brain again and having a coffee and a MN in peace ...thought would rather be with baby and picking DD1 up from school or not sure

Happy Birthday Macd!

I'm glad work is ok too. I know it's hard. But you sound like you enjoy it.

And I think that's a lovely plan for tonight. Friends, cheese and wine - excellent Am quite actually!

I think I'm going to go and have a glass of wine and some lunch! That should make me feel better!!

I'm not sure I totally understand the dynamic between you and your h baffy. Is the situation that he has moved in with the ow and is unlikely to return, or is it more vague than that? You asked whether venting will make him more oblivious.........it depends on where your relationship is going I think.

Happy Birthday MacD Your night in sounds lovely actually. Hope you manage to enjoy it.

FWIW I will feel the same on my next bday. I remember so clearly how happy I felt, then a month later how absolutely gutted. It was Valentines Day when I found out about dh's affair so now my birthday and Valentines Day are hurdles to overcome rather than days for celebration. I told h that. He hung his head in shame.

Hey all , back safe and sound just sinking under washing and ironing but had lovely time.
Will try and catch up but a round up would be helpful if anyone can summarise two weeks

Just flicked through and saw that Steve died will try and catch her thread now

LL apparently he's now finished with OW completely (he's never lived with her) and we've had discussions about perhaps trying to work things out between us.

But it's looking less likely by the day!

hello lilyloo

Baffy

Just saw it's your birthday McD 'Happy Birhday' and glad work going ok

Message withdrawn

Happy Birthday McD.

Baffy I would sit at home in front of the mirror and practice "who are you" and "ugh what is that?" looks in front on the mirror to use on SG next time...if she werent so obnoxious you would have to feel sorry for her really.

Would your EX really have applied for custody or was it SG pushing this?

Again you are a better person that me...would have had to give her a one fingered salute...(not the sophisticated response but it would feel good at the time)

better person than me

WW it was definitely SG pushing that.

I've no doubt that if the day ever came and he was with her properly, he would do whatever she said!
But I don't think for one minute he'd have even thought along those lines at this stage, never mind actually looked into the details. He's been very understanding when it comes to my bond with ds and how much I've needed to be with ds and be in control of that (ever since the day when ds had the fit and H was with SG so didn't ring me until they'd been in the hospital for an hour!) he's been very good.

And so he should be!!

Baffy I am not sure venting to H at the moment will really do any good.
Firstly you need to know 100% she is out of his life - and he needs to be the one doing all the running and begging to you.

I know it is hard but you really do need to just get on with your life regardless of whether you think there is a chance or not.

There will come a day when he will know you are better than her and he will hate himself and her for what they have done - but he needs to be in that place first. At the moment he can still justify it to himself in some way and is expecting you to 'help' him through it.

If he is committed he will find a way to get her out of both your lives - even if that means moving away and starting again. You will know if that is genuine epecially if he does not give up on you. Please dont worry about 'pushing' him away - if you need to shout scream stamp and strop then you should do it anyway.

I understand about the feelings you have when you see her - but again you must try not to let it eat you up - you are so much better than that.

McD - agian i urge you not to tell h about the solicitor until you are armed with all the info from them. Knowlege is power and at least if he then kicks off saying he will do x y and z you will know where you stand legally.

Make the decision to tell him after you have been - it will make you feel better and more in control.

Thanks HW

TFM has just said a very similar thing by text.

I think you're both right. I need to step right away from the whole situation. He still wants his cake and eat it.

At the very least she should be out of his life. And whether or not he's 'seeing' her, he's most definitely still in touch with her which is just not good enough. By any means.

He's not doing all he can to get me back. Because he's still weighing up if he has a better option or not!

Time to leave him to it I think.

Thanks so much HW xx

I agree with HW and TFM. Also I think that the reason why you still feel the need to vent is because there hasn't been closure. I vented a LOT for about 2 months after h's affair ended, it is getting less often now. Your h has not ended it really because even if he is not sleeping with her, he has not severed contact. It sounds like he has not grown up enough to earn your love and trust again. He will have to work a lot harder. Have you ever given him an ultimatum?