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Original poster

Crushing so badly on my sons primary school teacher.

398 replies

93Queen · 30/03/2025 08:35

Ok so before anyone jumps on me for this, I KNOW how wrong and inappropriate this is. My son started in his class in September and from the moment I first clapped eyes on this man, I couldn’t help but find him extremely attractive. I’m not with anyone by the way and haven’t been for a few years now. Just recently, I think I’m seeing things that just aren’t there and it won’t go away. We had a meeting in school recently, and I’m not joking when I say the chemistry is real! For me obviously, not him. It’s all one sided. Anyway, as I walked to the school, my heart was racing and I’ve never felt ‘butterflies’ as bad as that before. As I waited in the reception area of the school, I could see him staring at me through the glass whilst he was quickly getting himself a drink. I also saw him give me a quick stare as he walked into the office. As I said, I know this is wrong but I can’t help the way this man makes me feel. I’m not sure if he’s in a relationship, all I know is, he’s the same age as me but doesn’t yet have any children. How do I stop this ridiculous behaviour of mine? It’s an embarrassment feeling this way in my 30s! He has also invited me in for an additional parents evening, that was just before Christmas, but again, I know all of these things are just him being nice and a lovely teacher. Even if he did find me attractive, how would I know? Is there any body language or anything I can look out for? Reason I ask is I’m pretty sure there’s another parents evening coming up soon, and I just wondered how he would act whilst siting directly opposite me if he was to find me attractive too. Thank you for reading if you got to the end and sorry for rambling on.

OP posts:
Emanresuunknown · 30/03/2025 15:46

Oh op. It's really obvious you are looking for some silly poster that tells you if he looks at you like 'this', or comments x/y, then he's definitely into you. You sound desperate for some guaranteed sign he's into you when the reality is it's very unlikely he is, come on be realistic.

Please stop embarrassing yourself as honestly you are almost certainly seeing things that aren't there. As if he 'stared' at you, he's not a teenager, he's an adult and that's not how adults behave around people they like!

Go and splash your face with cold water and stop fantasising. I've never met a single male primary school teacher - they are generally nice blokes, who are brill with kids, have a secure job and work in an environment that's predominantly female.... He'll already be taken!

Poorabbeywalsh2 · 30/03/2025 15:54

I'm so excited for you OP. If he's interested, you will know. Perhaps he'll wait until next year when your son leaves his class. He might not want to lose his job. Would he ? Good luck girl

MadeofCoffee · 30/03/2025 15:56

This does sound like limerance OP - an infatuation.

Start online dating or something to take your mind off. Then in July, if you still have feelings/attraction to this guy, simply ask him on a date. If he says no, then at least you won't have any awkwardness while he's still your son's teacher.

But you do need to get a grip of your feelings before it becomes all-consuming.

Squiggletime · 30/03/2025 15:57

I used to be a TA in a primary school a couple of years ago. There was a lot of talk/gossip in the staff room at one point as it came out that one of the parents fancied one of the teachers. There were a lot of jokes made (by him too) and he’d say how uncomfortable it made him as she’d always stare😩 Sorry OP probably not what you want to hear and of course that doesn’t mean this would happen in your case

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 16:03

I probably should have included this in my original post, as it would appear from the comments that a lot of you probably just assume I’m some skanky, single mum who he wouldn’t look twice at. I’m a teacher too! And have been for the last 6 years! We don’t have any rules as such about this sort of thing in my contract and at my place of work. Im a SEN teacher so only have 6 children in my class, but I get the whole stigma around it. I just don’t want anyone here thinking I’m some tart because I too have a good job, my own home and two lovely children.

OP posts:
Poorabbeywalsh2 · 30/03/2025 16:12

😆😆😆😁😁😁😄😁 "skanky single mum"... not asking the definition of "skanky" to offend anybody lol

UpUpUpU · 30/03/2025 16:16

OP you seem to think you know an awful lot about what he knows.

Does he know you are a teacher? If so, he’s probably trying harder to make sure he’s doing right by your kid as you know how it’s supposed to be.

You do sound quite obsessive if I’m honest.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 16:17

UpUpUpU · 30/03/2025 16:16

OP you seem to think you know an awful lot about what he knows.

Does he know you are a teacher? If so, he’s probably trying harder to make sure he’s doing right by your kid as you know how it’s supposed to be.

You do sound quite obsessive if I’m honest.

Yes he does. And I don’t know where I’ve said in my comments that i know what he knows

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 30/03/2025 16:18

That’s a weird thing to say. And there’s no reason he’d be more attracted to another teacher than a ‘skanky single mum’ anyway. He might be into ‘tarts’ for all you know!

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 16:18

Poorabbeywalsh2 · 30/03/2025 16:12

😆😆😆😁😁😁😄😁 "skanky single mum"... not asking the definition of "skanky" to offend anybody lol

thats how some of these comments are coming across, as if I’m just a local tart at the school who’s got the hots for this teacher when in reality it’s not like that at all. I have a respectable job as well

OP posts:
Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 16:19

pinkdelight · 30/03/2025 16:18

That’s a weird thing to say. And there’s no reason he’d be more attracted to another teacher than a ‘skanky single mum’ anyway. He might be into ‘tarts’ for all you know!

I didn’t say he would be into me because I’m a teacher as well? It’s not weird when that’s how I’ve been made to feel

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 30/03/2025 16:23

You literally said that ‘I’m not a skanky single mum he wouldn’t look twice at. I’m a teacher myself!’ which says you think he’d look twice at you because you’re a teacher not a SSM. I’ve not made it up, you said it.

Kitchensinktoday · 30/03/2025 16:24

PrincessofWells · 30/03/2025 10:39

Having just been through this whole thing with an acquaintance about whom I had pure lust and a huge liking for - I'd say ask him out. Mine didn't work out, he wasn't the slightest bit interested in anything other than friendship, but I'm pleased I asked as it has had a positive knock on effect in other areas . . .. And now I know, I can try to stop wasting my time and emotions on him.

So what did you say and what was his reply?

Noperope · 30/03/2025 16:28

I had a 2 year crush on a teacher at my dcs school. Well, me and half the mums did to be honest. He was gorgeous and an incredibly nice man.

I sometimes got the feeling that liked me too. Lots of eye contact, smiles and he would say really nice things to me and my dc. I fancied him so much it felt like Bridgerton, 'I burn for you' 🤣🤣

In reality he was just a young, gorgeous man enjoying all the attention. I'm sure half the mums in the school also had their own imaginary relationship with him. Just enjoy the butterflies and eventually it will wear off.

PrettayGood · 30/03/2025 16:41

I don’t think anyone thinks you’re ‘skanky’, but you are a single mum so you should accept that’s not a plus point in pursuing a relationship. That plus the boundary crossing makes this a bad idea.

tonyhawks23 · 30/03/2025 16:45

We had a teacher who dated one of the dads recently in our school,it can't be that unusual.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 16:45

PrettayGood · 30/03/2025 16:41

I don’t think anyone thinks you’re ‘skanky’, but you are a single mum so you should accept that’s not a plus point in pursuing a relationship. That plus the boundary crossing makes this a bad idea.

People get into relationships having already had children all the time, it’s not uncommon and I don’t think my children should be an issue for anyone. Yes people have their own minds and yes not everyone wants to take on someone else’s kids which is fair enough, but some do. If I ever asked him and he said no, or said he didn’t want to be with someone who’s already got kids or anything like that, I’d respect that, that’s totally fair enough. I just don’t get how fancying someone can make you ‘obsessive’ etc. I’ve done nothing or said nothing to this man what so ever, or anyone else for that matter

OP posts:
Overhaul54 · 30/03/2025 17:06

@93Queen Ok so if you are both teachers he’s got the perfect “ in” to discuss something you have in common over coffee.
He needs to ask you.You have the most to lose and the most to protect. Let him show you who he is.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 17:12

Overhaul54 · 30/03/2025 17:06

@93Queen Ok so if you are both teachers he’s got the perfect “ in” to discuss something you have in common over coffee.
He needs to ask you.You have the most to lose and the most to protect. Let him show you who he is.

i guess you’re right. I’ll just have to subtly make it known to him that I like him and just see if he does anything. If not, I suppose at least I’ll know and it’s not long until the summer holidays now so I’ll soon forget this whole thing

OP posts:
OchreRaven · 30/03/2025 18:19

I would go with the “Do you have any Easter plans?” Then when he tells you what his plans are ask him “Are you doing that with your girlfriend?”

It makes it obvious that you are interested without putting him in the position that he has to turn you down if he’s not interested. Instead he can confirm his relationship status and if he is single and doesn’t ask you back or suggest meeting up then you can leave it knowing you gave him an ‘in’ and he didn’t take it. And if it ever comes up it’s easy to brush off as asking a harmless question.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 30/03/2025 18:20

Hello again AI.

redsun246 · 30/03/2025 18:20

'any Easter plans with the missus?'

For the love of god, please don't say this OP. It's so comically transparent and monumentally cringey.

Ooorhead · 30/03/2025 18:23

redsun246 · 30/03/2025 18:20

'any Easter plans with the missus?'

For the love of god, please don't say this OP. It's so comically transparent and monumentally cringey.

Don’t say this to anyone OP ever

let alone your child’s teacher

SmileEachDay · 30/03/2025 18:51

OchreRaven · 30/03/2025 18:19

I would go with the “Do you have any Easter plans?” Then when he tells you what his plans are ask him “Are you doing that with your girlfriend?”

It makes it obvious that you are interested without putting him in the position that he has to turn you down if he’s not interested. Instead he can confirm his relationship status and if he is single and doesn’t ask you back or suggest meeting up then you can leave it knowing you gave him an ‘in’ and he didn’t take it. And if it ever comes up it’s easy to brush off as asking a harmless question.

If a parent had this conversation with me at parent eve it would be deeply awkward.

The Easter bit would be ok, if parent eve was in the last week of term but the rest of it…

Not ok.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 18:53

OchreRaven · 30/03/2025 18:19

I would go with the “Do you have any Easter plans?” Then when he tells you what his plans are ask him “Are you doing that with your girlfriend?”

It makes it obvious that you are interested without putting him in the position that he has to turn you down if he’s not interested. Instead he can confirm his relationship status and if he is single and doesn’t ask you back or suggest meeting up then you can leave it knowing you gave him an ‘in’ and he didn’t take it. And if it ever comes up it’s easy to brush off as asking a harmless question.

This is such a good idea, thank you. It’s something I wish I’d have done back last year just before Christmas when he told me he was going away to see some friends. I wish I’d have said then aww are you going with your partner but I didn’t have the bottle at the time, I got all nervous and idk why. This week though it was really bad, I’m not even joking when I say I haven’t ever felt nerves like that before, that chemistry that I felt was real. Maybe not for him but it was for me

OP posts: