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Original poster

Crushing so badly on my sons primary school teacher.

398 replies

93Queen · 30/03/2025 08:35

Ok so before anyone jumps on me for this, I KNOW how wrong and inappropriate this is. My son started in his class in September and from the moment I first clapped eyes on this man, I couldn’t help but find him extremely attractive. I’m not with anyone by the way and haven’t been for a few years now. Just recently, I think I’m seeing things that just aren’t there and it won’t go away. We had a meeting in school recently, and I’m not joking when I say the chemistry is real! For me obviously, not him. It’s all one sided. Anyway, as I walked to the school, my heart was racing and I’ve never felt ‘butterflies’ as bad as that before. As I waited in the reception area of the school, I could see him staring at me through the glass whilst he was quickly getting himself a drink. I also saw him give me a quick stare as he walked into the office. As I said, I know this is wrong but I can’t help the way this man makes me feel. I’m not sure if he’s in a relationship, all I know is, he’s the same age as me but doesn’t yet have any children. How do I stop this ridiculous behaviour of mine? It’s an embarrassment feeling this way in my 30s! He has also invited me in for an additional parents evening, that was just before Christmas, but again, I know all of these things are just him being nice and a lovely teacher. Even if he did find me attractive, how would I know? Is there any body language or anything I can look out for? Reason I ask is I’m pretty sure there’s another parents evening coming up soon, and I just wondered how he would act whilst siting directly opposite me if he was to find me attractive too. Thank you for reading if you got to the end and sorry for rambling on.

OP posts:
Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2025 19:06

93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:42

as I said in the post, I’m in my 30s and I’m well aware I can’t influence anything. I was just simply asking if there’s any ways for me to find out if he did like me as well, because that way when my son leaves the class, I could possibly ask him 🤷🏼‍♀️

The way you wrote your post was begging for people to say omg he definitely fancies you!

You made a point of saying you know it's all one-sided but then said he was staring at you through the glass etc. All very cringe worthy. If you'd have said you fancy him and you think he might fancy you back, it would be less cringey because you're at least being honest.

Ariel896 · 30/03/2025 19:08

93Queen · 30/03/2025 18:53

This is such a good idea, thank you. It’s something I wish I’d have done back last year just before Christmas when he told me he was going away to see some friends. I wish I’d have said then aww are you going with your partner but I didn’t have the bottle at the time, I got all nervous and idk why. This week though it was really bad, I’m not even joking when I say I haven’t ever felt nerves like that before, that chemistry that I felt was real. Maybe not for him but it was for me

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oohhh good luck OP! And update us when you get a chance to chat to him. Rooting for you! 🙌

Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2025 19:10

93Queen · 30/03/2025 16:03

I probably should have included this in my original post, as it would appear from the comments that a lot of you probably just assume I’m some skanky, single mum who he wouldn’t look twice at. I’m a teacher too! And have been for the last 6 years! We don’t have any rules as such about this sort of thing in my contract and at my place of work. Im a SEN teacher so only have 6 children in my class, but I get the whole stigma around it. I just don’t want anyone here thinking I’m some tart because I too have a good job, my own home and two lovely children.

God, you sound utterly grim.

Confusedformer · 30/03/2025 19:13

Wow, you’re going to ask ‘are you doing that with your girlfriend?’

That’s incredibly presumptive and intrusive and I don’t think it will end well. Firstly, he may be gay. Then how will you both feel?

Secondly, it’s just crossing a line - you’re a parent, you don’t have the sort of relationship where you can ask that. I think you’re going to look back and be mortified tbh.

Gogglebox189975 · 30/03/2025 19:25

I really think you should just ask him at the end of the term! If u think he was staring he probs was!

Overhaul54 · 30/03/2025 19:25

It's none of your business if he has a girlfriend.

What difference does it make?

If he thinks your the one he'll still want to get to know you.
If he's single...well then what? You going to grind him down with your best lines and moves?
Just stop. If he likes you you'll know. You don't have to.do anything.

westisbest1982 · 30/03/2025 19:25

“Are you doing that with anyone special?” is better.

SmileEachDay · 30/03/2025 19:28

Jesus.
He. Is. At. Work.

It’s so intrusive.

ChessorBuckaroo · 30/03/2025 19:38

Gogglebox189975 · 30/03/2025 19:25

I really think you should just ask him at the end of the term! If u think he was staring he probs was!

I'd do this. Best of luck in whatever you decide OP.

outerspacepotato · 30/03/2025 19:51

I think you should back off.

This is your son's school where he has to be for some more time. Don't make it uncomfortable for him by hitting on his teacher.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 19:58

Gogglebox189975 · 30/03/2025 19:25

I really think you should just ask him at the end of the term! If u think he was staring he probs was!

He definitely was and that part wasn’t in my head. I was always going to wait until my son has left his class, I’d never do anything right now and make things awkward for both of us

OP posts:
Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 19:59

Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2025 19:10

God, you sound utterly grim.

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A bit like you then using this space to bully a stranger. Is there something bothering you in your own life that you deem it acceptable to bully someone you don’t know?

OP posts:
Kitchensinktoday · 30/03/2025 20:04

OchreRaven · 30/03/2025 18:19

I would go with the “Do you have any Easter plans?” Then when he tells you what his plans are ask him “Are you doing that with your girlfriend?”

It makes it obvious that you are interested without putting him in the position that he has to turn you down if he’s not interested. Instead he can confirm his relationship status and if he is single and doesn’t ask you back or suggest meeting up then you can leave it knowing you gave him an ‘in’ and he didn’t take it. And if it ever comes up it’s easy to brush off as asking a harmless question.

There’s no harm in doing this. At least you’ll know whether he’s single or not or, and then you could possibly ask him for a coffee at the end of the school year?

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 20:08

Kitchensinktoday · 30/03/2025 20:04

There’s no harm in doing this. At least you’ll know whether he’s single or not or, and then you could possibly ask him for a coffee at the end of the school year?

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exactly that. I know why people would think it’s none of my business if he’s single or not, which I get it isn’t. But I’m not someone to go after another woman’s man, I’d never do that which is why I think it’s best if I know beforehand because if he was taken, I would just forget the whole thing and not ask him out. If he was single then yeah I’d love to ask him if he fancies a coffee in the summer holidays

OP posts:
Kitchensinktoday · 30/03/2025 20:15

93Queen · 30/03/2025 20:08

exactly that. I know why people would think it’s none of my business if he’s single or not, which I get it isn’t. But I’m not someone to go after another woman’s man, I’d never do that which is why I think it’s best if I know beforehand because if he was taken, I would just forget the whole thing and not ask him out. If he was single then yeah I’d love to ask him if he fancies a coffee in the summer holidays

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I really hope this doesn’t happen, but if he declined a coffee, you can probably brush it off without too much embarrassment.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 20:24

Kitchensinktoday · 30/03/2025 20:15

I really hope this doesn’t happen, but if he declined a coffee, you can probably brush it off without too much embarrassment.

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And I would do exactly that, brush it off. I firmly believe there is someone out there for everyone, even if it’s not him for me, there will be someone that is for me and I’m ok with that. If he said no, at least I can say I had the guts to ask him. A comment on here from a deputy head who’s also a male said women don’t often ask and he’s probably right on that, they don’t. So even if he says no, I hope he would still feel flattered and then we’d just leave it as that. I wouldn’t really see him anymore after that anyway as my son will be in someone else’s class after summer break

OP posts:
DrCoconut · 30/03/2025 20:39

beautyqueeen · 30/03/2025 13:48

Do a little low key stalking on social media, try and find out if he’s with someone, if you get the chance to talk to him again you could ask if he has any weekend/half term plans to try and gauge it too.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you adding him on SM at the won of the school year and shooting your shot, like you say if you never try you’ll never know.

Teachers at my DC's school are not allowed to accept friend requests from parents of children in the school. It's considered to be blurring professional boundaries. The policy doesn't explicitly forbid relationships/encounters but I'm guessing it would be deeply frowned upon. So if you're waiting for him to make the first move you may be disappointed.

Moier · 30/03/2025 20:43

Why are people saying it won't go anywhere? Do you all have crystal balls?
Op...just carry on doing what you're doing.. l hope he does fancy you as much as you fancy him and that he asks you out.. it's not illegal..so not sure why so many negative comments..
Good luck and keep us informed.

Sunshineofyourlove · 30/03/2025 20:48

I call bullshit

In 24 years of teaching I've never met a teacher who would say"skanky single mums"

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 20:49

Moier · 30/03/2025 20:43

Why are people saying it won't go anywhere? Do you all have crystal balls?
Op...just carry on doing what you're doing.. l hope he does fancy you as much as you fancy him and that he asks you out.. it's not illegal..so not sure why so many negative comments..
Good luck and keep us informed.

Thank you so much 🫶🏻

OP posts:
Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 20:55

Sunshineofyourlove · 30/03/2025 20:48

I call bullshit

In 24 years of teaching I've never met a teacher who would say"skanky single mums"

Well I guess today is your first day because I qualified as a primary school teacher in the summer of 2019 😊

OP posts:
CheekySnake · 30/03/2025 21:01

It's just quite hard to take it seriously when it based on brief eye contact and thirty seconds of ordinary small talk which you've persuaded yourself had deeper meaning when there's no evidence of that. You talk about fancying him but you don't know him from Adam. Come on, OP. These are not feelings to act on.

CantStopMoving · 30/03/2025 21:08

CheekySnake · 30/03/2025 21:01

It's just quite hard to take it seriously when it based on brief eye contact and thirty seconds of ordinary small talk which you've persuaded yourself had deeper meaning when there's no evidence of that. You talk about fancying him but you don't know him from Adam. Come on, OP. These are not feelings to act on.

Edited

if people never acted on attraction then we’d never couple up surely? We can’t always be sure if the other person is interested before we ask them out can we?

CheekySnake · 30/03/2025 21:11

CantStopMoving · 30/03/2025 21:08

if people never acted on attraction then we’d never couple up surely? We can’t always be sure if the other person is interested before we ask them out can we?

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You can have a lot more evidence that things are mutual than exists here.

Original poster
93Queen · 30/03/2025 21:11

CheekySnake · 30/03/2025 21:01

It's just quite hard to take it seriously when it based on brief eye contact and thirty seconds of ordinary small talk which you've persuaded yourself had deeper meaning when there's no evidence of that. You talk about fancying him but you don't know him from Adam. Come on, OP. These are not feelings to act on.

Edited

Isn’t that how people meet? All couples are strangers before they get together? I’m not saying we will become a couple by any means, but surely that’s how people meet. You begin a relationship with someone based on attraction right?

OP posts:
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