Crushing so badly on my sons primary school teacher.

[93Queen]

Ok so before anyone jumps on me for this, I KNOW how wrong and inappropriate this is. My son started in his class in September and from the moment I first clapped eyes on this man, I couldn’t help but find him extremely attractive. I’m not with anyone by the way and haven’t been for a few years now. Just recently, I think I’m seeing things that just aren’t there and it won’t go away. We had a meeting in school recently, and I’m not joking when I say the chemistry is real! For me obviously, not him. It’s all one sided. Anyway, as I walked to the school, my heart was racing and I’ve never felt ‘butterflies’ as bad as that before. As I waited in the reception area of the school, I could see him staring at me through the glass whilst he was quickly getting himself a drink. I also saw him give me a quick stare as he walked into the office. As I said, I know this is wrong but I can’t help the way this man makes me feel. I’m not sure if he’s in a relationship, all I know is, he’s the same age as me but doesn’t yet have any children. How do I stop this ridiculous behaviour of mine? It’s an embarrassment feeling this way in my 30s! He has also invited me in for an additional parents evening, that was just before Christmas, but again, I know all of these things are just him being nice and a lovely teacher. Even if he did find me attractive, how would I know? Is there any body language or anything I can look out for? Reason I ask is I’m pretty sure there’s another parents evening coming up soon, and I just wondered how he would act whilst siting directly opposite me if he was to find me attractive too. Thank you for reading if you got to the end and sorry for rambling on.

If he’s a beautiful man, lots of mums will have noticed him. He may enjoy the attention. Doesn’t make him wrong or unfit to do his job.
But please let this lie. He is a man with a career which is respected. Of course, he’s also a fella who can have a life of his own.
But you aren’t really seeing this from his point of view at all. He will come across attractive young mums all the time, some of whom he will sense are vulnerable. So I would think he takes a hands-off approach.
Even if you did both go there, if it ended, and ended badly that’s not good for either of you.
Let this one go.

A friend of mine married her children’s primary school teacher. Not sure why the posts I’ve read have been so negative.

So not the equivalent of “any plans with your missus” at all

Out of interest do you have children at school @YourAzureEagle ?

Do a little low key stalking on social media, try and find out if he’s with someone, if you get the chance to talk to him again you could ask if he has any weekend/half term plans to try and gauge it too.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you adding him on SM at the won of the school year and shooting your shot, like you say if you never try you’ll never know.

I didn’t think you would chat him up either, I meant you will be able to gauge when it’s just you two how he is towards you. I think men make
it pretty blatant when they are into somebody.
A lot of people on this thread are being unnecessarily cruel.
Having a crush at any age is normal!

That's the difficult bit 😂
First I would check if he was single; I think your getting back to the missus comment is a good idea. If he replies that there is no missus tell him you are single too. Hold his gaze longer than normal, find excuses to bump into him and chat some more in friendly kind of way and observe how he reacts. If he matches your friendliness ramp it up. Something like that

they do say the 3rd love is the one you’re not looking for and comes from no where.

I've never heard this said and don't think it's true, and also doubt he's your 3rd love. I like a good crush but it's always much more about the crusher than the crushee. He's a goodlooking man who's being nice to your son, that's a crushy combo but from his side you're one of many parents he's dealing with at work and nothing you've said suggests anything beyond the usual parent teacher interactions. The 'staring' feels like a reach, I wouldn't read anything into it. Just enjoy the crush and it will very likely have passed by the summer. If he's that hot and a male primary school teacher, he's very likely to have been snapped up already or if not, it will be through choice. I wouldn't use the 'missus' line either in case he's gay, you can't assume anything.

Put your number in your sons school bag or school book if he checks it and write something like ‘are you single if so here’s my number’ but only if you can face the embarrassment if you don’t hear nothing 🫣 good luck haha. X

For the love of all that is holy do not do this 😂

I'd totally ask the other mums if he's single,they must know surely.i imagine lots of mums fancy him.and check out his social media and Google him.

I currently have this at work. He's a fit, handsome and charming guy who's
half my age and I'm married - now that's totally inappropriate and awkward!

I can tell it's mutual. I have had the staring thing from him - and can sense eyes on me when I walk around the office. . There is a difference between a look in your direction and a stare. If you feel he's staring he probably is and finds you equally attractive. Don't doubt yourself.

I agree with what others have said unfortunately there's not a lot you can do about it right now.

I empathise with you having this intense crush - it takes up a lot of headspace having a guy living in your head.

Is he really half your age @Summervibes24 ?

A teaching assistant is probably more likely to check their book bags than the teacher... Could be awkward 🤣

Why on earth are you asking? I guess she’s making it up about the mutual attraction?

Jesus. Do NOT do this.

Just enjoy your teenage crush but be realistic. Even if he did like you, he’d be unlikely to pursue something with a pupil’s parent.

No, this is very school disco 😂 And I mean what if a kid had done it as a joke and he replied 😆😂

@Ooorhead Why would I lie about this to a bunch of strangers on MN?

I'm 54 and he's 27.

Huh?

I was asking if actually half your age or just much younger. It’s an expression “half his age”.

it transpire he really is exactly half your age 😂

I haven’t read all of the pages (sorry!) but it would likely be against professional rules for him to date a parent of any of the children in the school, not just in his class. It was certainly a rule at the school I taught at. Additionally, teachers are often moved around year groups for professional development reasons, so he could end up teaching your child again when he is older.

Oh sorry, I misinterpreted your tone. 🤣. I thought you were thinking it's not possible to fancy someone half your age which to be fair I am a bit weirded out by.

So engaging in polite conversation then? Honestly, you do not want to be known in the staff room as the flirtatious mum.

They call you something I imagine

I thought that person was being passive aggressive that someone could be attracted to someone twice their age. Which, going by some comments on this thread, some people would be really judgmental about.

Good heavens no I didn’t mean that!