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Original poster

I think my husband has given me the ick

134 replies

CalmReader · 26/03/2025 08:52

I woke up with this realisation this morning and not sure how I can get past it!
For context we’ve been together 13 years, married 6 with 1 DS3

However he has this really annoying habit of shouting ‘boobs’ or ‘ooh boobs’ whenever I’m getting changed and they’re out. I’ve told him time & time again, I don’t like it, I mean, it’s not exactly a turn on is it?! It’s got to the point where I want to hide when I’m getting changed as I feel it’s childish - yes I have boobs, you’ve seen them countless times and they don’t need an announcement whenever they’re out!
He said it again last night when I was getting ready for bed and something in me just made me realise it’s a really annoying habit. It definitely doesn’t want to make me rip his clothes off, and in all honesty I think it’s given me the ick, but am I being silly?! How would everyone else react? Turn on or turn off?!

OP posts:
WhatAPrettyHouse · 26/03/2025 08:54

Yuk.

That would grate on me too.

Does he think it's a turn on?

Original poster
CalmReader · 26/03/2025 09:01

@WhatAPrettyHouseI'm not really sure, whenever I’ve brought it up he says it’s because he likes them and no matter how many times he sees them he still loves them. Doesn’t make me want to rip his clothes off though, or mine for that matter. It’s like he’s 12!

OP posts:
Errolwasahero · 26/03/2025 09:04

Ok as a joke once or twice perhaps, but not ok that he’s ignoring your wishes! I think I’d be inclined to shout ‘prick!’ Whenever I saw him…

RunLikeTheWild · 26/03/2025 09:05

Eugh I wouldn't like to be reminded how much he objectifies me all the time either.

It's completely disrespectful to keep doing it as well when you've asked him not to.

Yanbu

Topjoe19 · 26/03/2025 09:08

Tell him if he ever wants to see them again to cut it out.

Sulu17 · 26/03/2025 09:22

Does your DH behave in any other inappropriate ways, OP? He seems to have a bit of growing up to do.

GoAwayNow7 · 26/03/2025 09:30

You’ve asked him to stop and he’s refused. So now take steps to actively prevent him from doing this by getting changed away from him. Expect him to sulk about it.

If you tell someone you don’t like something they’re doing and they carry on they are doing it on purpose. The comments are deliberately degrading and objectifying.

What else is going on? Groping? Other sleazy comments?

Original poster
CalmReader · 26/03/2025 09:40

GoAwayNow7 · 26/03/2025 09:30

You’ve asked him to stop and he’s refused. So now take steps to actively prevent him from doing this by getting changed away from him. Expect him to sulk about it.

If you tell someone you don’t like something they’re doing and they carry on they are doing it on purpose. The comments are deliberately degrading and objectifying.

What else is going on? Groping? Other sleazy comments?

All of this unfortunately which I’ve only just come to realise since you’ve said it!

I’m sure he would like more sex, but this isn’t the way to go about it. I think I do feel objectified

OP posts:
RickiRaccoon · 26/03/2025 09:50

Next time he does it, I'd emphasise how much you don't like and tell him it makes him sound like a 12yo and is really off-putting. Presumably he won't like the comparison to a child.

HouseCaptain · 26/03/2025 10:02

Tell him that if does it again your vagina will close to him forever.

gannett · 26/03/2025 10:02

It sounds exceedingly off-putting but you've been with him 13 years. So either he's only just started doing it, in which case you can tell him not to be so weird and to stop it. Or he's been doing it all this time and it's taken you 13 years to realise it's off-putting (during which time you got married and had a kid with someone constant yelling BOOBS!)

Bitofanchange · 26/03/2025 10:10

Urghh 🤢! What more can you do? You’ve told him, you’re ignored.

Go crazy at him everytime, until he stops. Have another brutally honest conversation that he’s turning you off him?

RedHelenB · 26/03/2025 10:11

Topjoe19 · 26/03/2025 09:08

Tell him if he ever wants to see them again to cut it out.

This. Do you shout dick whenever he gets undressed ?

thankyounextplease · 26/03/2025 10:28

I'd find it hard to get worked up about something so minor to be honest.

Either you have no problems in your life (lucky you) or you have zero sense of humour (not that I think it's funny, but it would be an affectionate eyerolling from me with my partner, especially because presumably he's been doing it for years at this point so seems odd to just get the ick now. I'd rather him yell boobs than not look at me or find me attractive or be scrolling other women on his phone and just grunt at me instead of talking to me, like apparently a lot of mumsnet men).

thankyounextplease · 26/03/2025 10:28

RedHelenB · 26/03/2025 10:11

This. Do you shout dick whenever he gets undressed ?

Show quote history

Thing is, he'd probably find it funny.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 26/03/2025 10:33

thankyounextplease · 26/03/2025 10:28

I'd find it hard to get worked up about something so minor to be honest.

Either you have no problems in your life (lucky you) or you have zero sense of humour (not that I think it's funny, but it would be an affectionate eyerolling from me with my partner, especially because presumably he's been doing it for years at this point so seems odd to just get the ick now. I'd rather him yell boobs than not look at me or find me attractive or be scrolling other women on his phone and just grunt at me instead of talking to me, like apparently a lot of mumsnet men).

I think you underestimate how much this can grate on your nerves. Maybe it wouldn't grate on yours but it does on OPs. I had an XP with the mindset of a 13 year old boy once and I put up with it for eight years before it all just got too much for me (compounded by other issues). I had tolerated it with a weak smile up until that point but then it became just one more nail in the coffin of our relationship.
So it might be a minor thing to you, but I expect you have something that, if done to extremes by someone asked to stop, would make you finally snap.

Gerwurtztraminer · 26/03/2025 10:36

thankyounextplease · 26/03/2025 10:28

Thing is, he'd probably find it funny.

Show quote history

He wouldn't think it funny if she shouted 'Tiny Dick'. But I wouldn’t stoop to his level as this is actually quite serious.

OP, I'd tell him what you said above about feel objectified and disrespected. If he's also grabbing and groping then that is a very big red flag - it's assault if he's doing it without your enthusiastic consent. It's also him saying he has the right to do what he wants regardless of your feelings and that you don't have bodily autonomy.

I'd really put my foot down if I was you, deadly serious rather than shouty, and make it clear it stops or there will be consequences (whatever you choose them to be, such as changing out of sight, stopping all sex, moving into the spare room). And let him sulk all he likes, don't back down.

myplace · 26/03/2025 10:41

thankyounextplease · 26/03/2025 10:28

I'd find it hard to get worked up about something so minor to be honest.

Either you have no problems in your life (lucky you) or you have zero sense of humour (not that I think it's funny, but it would be an affectionate eyerolling from me with my partner, especially because presumably he's been doing it for years at this point so seems odd to just get the ick now. I'd rather him yell boobs than not look at me or find me attractive or be scrolling other women on his phone and just grunt at me instead of talking to me, like apparently a lot of mumsnet men).

The problem is, when your partner behaves like a 7 yr old, it’s very hard to have sex with them.

I say 7, because I taught a 7yr old whose mum was breastfeeding and he’d often laugh about boobies. It’s totally understandable from a 7yr old. But can think of sex with a 7yr old?

He does it because he sees your body as his playground. A toy. Forgets you are autonomous.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 26/03/2025 10:44

Gerwurtztraminer · 26/03/2025 10:36

He wouldn't think it funny if she shouted 'Tiny Dick'. But I wouldn’t stoop to his level as this is actually quite serious.

OP, I'd tell him what you said above about feel objectified and disrespected. If he's also grabbing and groping then that is a very big red flag - it's assault if he's doing it without your enthusiastic consent. It's also him saying he has the right to do what he wants regardless of your feelings and that you don't have bodily autonomy.

I'd really put my foot down if I was you, deadly serious rather than shouty, and make it clear it stops or there will be consequences (whatever you choose them to be, such as changing out of sight, stopping all sex, moving into the spare room). And let him sulk all he likes, don't back down.

Edited
Show quote history

'Tiny Dick' is an insult. 'Boobs' is likely not.

kitchentablegardentable · 26/03/2025 10:44

Show him this thread.

Pricelessadvice · 26/03/2025 10:47

I’d be shouting ‘acorn’ when his manhood is out...

RaininSummer · 26/03/2025 10:48

Tell him to admire your magnificent chesticles quietly or he won't get to see them any more. It would really put me off as so juvenile and reminds me of someone like Benny Hill salivating and chasing women about.

its2025 · 26/03/2025 10:51

I can totally understand how something minor like this - you can put up with it or dismiss it for many years and then at some point the annoyance gets too much.

I think it's unlikely this is the only thing going on with him. Am i right @CalmReader ?

He really needs to understand how this one word (and his attitude behind it) is impacting you. Once you've had a proper conversation about this - perhaps it will open up discussion in general and you can find ways that you will find him more attractive.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 26/03/2025 10:52

That would turn my stomach.

foxxxxy · 26/03/2025 10:54

You could shout ooooh tiny penis whenever he’s getting changed and see how he likes it.