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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I think my husband has given me the ick

134 replies

CalmReader · 26/03/2025 08:52

I woke up with this realisation this morning and not sure how I can get past it!
For context we’ve been together 13 years, married 6 with 1 DS3

However he has this really annoying habit of shouting ‘boobs’ or ‘ooh boobs’ whenever I’m getting changed and they’re out. I’ve told him time & time again, I don’t like it, I mean, it’s not exactly a turn on is it?! It’s got to the point where I want to hide when I’m getting changed as I feel it’s childish - yes I have boobs, you’ve seen them countless times and they don’t need an announcement whenever they’re out!
He said it again last night when I was getting ready for bed and something in me just made me realise it’s a really annoying habit. It definitely doesn’t want to make me rip his clothes off, and in all honesty I think it’s given me the ick, but am I being silly?! How would everyone else react? Turn on or turn off?!

OP posts:
KarmenPQZ · 26/03/2025 15:23

Preempt it… don’t be shamed into leaving the room yourself but say ‘I’m getting changed now, can you be trusted to behave like the <his aged> year old adult or do you need to leave the room now’

Ellie56 · 26/03/2025 15:27

Yuck what a turn off. He sounds like a 12 year old.

I'd be changing in the bathroom behind a locked door and if he doesn't stop with the groping I'd be filing for divorce.

What a vile horrid little man.

Hufdl · 26/03/2025 15:33

He sounds like a moron.
I can well imagine you have the ick.

Original poster
CalmReader · 26/03/2025 15:42

Thanks everyone for all your responses! Too many to catch up on individually, but to answer a few questions:

husband is nearing 40

I do absolutely have a sense of humour, probably more than my husband to be honest, but this isn’t about finding it funny. Maybe it was funny the first few times but after years of it it’s really grating on me and really turning me off him!

Yes there are other issues, which is most likely why it’s grating on me so much now. Although it has always bothered me.

Reading your comments I do think he’s immature. He is objectifying me as one poster suggested, I just hadn’t seen it like that before. I think he thinks he’s being nice and giving me attention and showing me he’s attracted to me but it’s just not doing it for me. I don’t want a 12 year old that gets excited and squeals every time he sees my tits, it really is a major turn off!!

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 26/03/2025 15:44

You shout:
📣📣📣 TALLYWACKER 📣📣📣
whenever he strips off.

Thats’s equally unsexy.

honeyrider · 26/03/2025 15:46

Not surprised it's giving you the ick, I'd tell needle dick sex is off the agenda if he continues with the way he's treating you.

withlotsoflove · 26/03/2025 16:02

All these comments about “ small dick” are as ridiculous as the husband.
it doesn’t equate, and men should not be shamed for having a small penis ffs 🤦‍♀️

ItGhoul · 26/03/2025 16:03

LollyLand · 26/03/2025 15:12

My partner has given me the ick over boobs today too. He constantly pulls my top up or touches my nipples.
I didn’t have a bra on and he pulled my top up as I was stood by the window knowing my neighbours could have seen. Of course he thought it was hilarious.

Again, that is sexual assault

Tillybud81 · 26/03/2025 16:03

I thought it was just my ex that did this! He used the laugh and say "boobies" almost every time I got changed for bed. It got to a point that, like you, I didn't want to get changed in front of him and was pretty uncomfortable. As you say it was like being around a teenager and very much a turn off.

It created an ick with me that I just couldn't get past, he had no interest in seeing it from my point of view.

And to all those suggesting to shout something when you see his penis, I don't know about your DP but my ex would have loved that. Probably would've started waving it about grinning like an idiot.

Anyway no real advice sorry other than I know exactly where you're coming from. Maybe talk to him again and tell him stop or you're done, you want to have sex with a grown man not a man child

TrainGame · 26/03/2025 16:05
Groping vs affection... there's a difference!

Jimmy has much longer videos on this - but this gives an overall flavour of what most men are doing wrong and it sounds like your DH is at it too OP.

Mummyseen90 · 26/03/2025 16:24

thankyounextplease · 26/03/2025 10:28

I'd find it hard to get worked up about something so minor to be honest.

Either you have no problems in your life (lucky you) or you have zero sense of humour (not that I think it's funny, but it would be an affectionate eyerolling from me with my partner, especially because presumably he's been doing it for years at this point so seems odd to just get the ick now. I'd rather him yell boobs than not look at me or find me attractive or be scrolling other women on his phone and just grunt at me instead of talking to me, like apparently a lot of mumsnet men).

100% agree. You've been married 13 years and your husband clearly still fancies you and is showing affection. If that gives you thre ick maybe there's some other reason. Rather him be appreciating you than someone else

sweetpickle2 · 26/03/2025 16:27

Mummyseen90 · 26/03/2025 16:24

100% agree. You've been married 13 years and your husband clearly still fancies you and is showing affection. If that gives you thre ick maybe there's some other reason. Rather him be appreciating you than someone else

Show quote history

The bar is really on the floor isn't it.

"Rather him be appreciating you than someone else" honestly if that was my DH I'd much rather he took that immature teenage letching elsewhere.

It's perfectly possible to fancy and show affection to your partner in an adult and respectful way. Regardless- OP doesn't like it, she's told him she doesn't like it, and he does it anyway. That's about the unsexiest thing I can think of.

Gettingbysomehow · 26/03/2025 16:27

It must be like living with a teenage boy. I'd be brutally honest and say this behaviour turns you right off intimacy with him.

Snugglemonkey · 26/03/2025 16:46

Jessieshome · 26/03/2025 12:07

My husband does this! 😄And I do do it to him sometimes! It's just a bit of silliness, yes it's infantile and yes, sometimes it's irritating if I'm in a bad mood or in a hurry getting ready for work and there's some bloke shouting 'boobs' at me or whatever but I'd rather have a laugh about it. What's wrong with a bit of silliness? Embrace it!

This is very wrong. It is absolutely fine for you to engage in consensual banter with your husband, but it is entirely different for op. In her case it is unwanted and she had said so. So it is sexual harassment. Which is not something anyone should be advised to tolerate, let alone embrace.

TinyFlamingo · 26/03/2025 18:06

Lanaz20 · 26/03/2025 11:31

Shout "flaccid penis" at him...see if that does it for him.

But seriously, it's like living with a grubby leery 12 year old. Sorry to hear that may have other sleazy tendencies. Mine did too. He's the ex now. (Also had increasing obsession with watching porn and gaming.)

Lady boner gone.... 😂

Mummyseen90 · 26/03/2025 18:08

sweetpickle2 · 26/03/2025 16:27

The bar is really on the floor isn't it.

"Rather him be appreciating you than someone else" honestly if that was my DH I'd much rather he took that immature teenage letching elsewhere.

It's perfectly possible to fancy and show affection to your partner in an adult and respectful way. Regardless- OP doesn't like it, she's told him she doesn't like it, and he does it anyway. That's about the unsexiest thing I can think of.

Edited
Show quote history

Not really on the floor though is it.we've obviously got differing opinions but you don't need to be rude. If you're going to post something on a public forum asking for advice don't expect everyone to have the same view as you. There's obviously a reason she doesn't like it because when my husband is complimenting me on my body and me him, it keeps our marriage exciting. But what do I know I'm just happily married to a man who I fancy the pants off and have down for the last 17 years ✌️

K8ate · 26/03/2025 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sweetpickle2 · 26/03/2025 20:49

Mummyseen90 · 26/03/2025 18:08

Not really on the floor though is it.we've obviously got differing opinions but you don't need to be rude. If you're going to post something on a public forum asking for advice don't expect everyone to have the same view as you. There's obviously a reason she doesn't like it because when my husband is complimenting me on my body and me him, it keeps our marriage exciting. But what do I know I'm just happily married to a man who I fancy the pants off and have down for the last 17 years ✌️

Show quote history

I actually think you were rude, telling OP she’s wrong to dislike the thing she’s said she dislikes.

I’m also not convinced that shouting BOOBS counts as complimenting someone’s body but if it’s good enough for you then crack on.

Mummyseen90 · 26/03/2025 21:11

sweetpickle2 · 26/03/2025 20:49

I actually think you were rude, telling OP she’s wrong to dislike the thing she’s said she dislikes.

I’m also not convinced that shouting BOOBS counts as complimenting someone’s body but if it’s good enough for you then crack on.

Show quote history

She asked for opinions and I gave mine. If you didn't like or agree, you could have scrolled past. I didn't ask for opinions on my opinion. I'll crack on don't worry 😁 goodnight x

Original poster
CalmReader · 26/03/2025 21:45

I’m not sure you’d find it attractive or funny if your 40 year old DH said it in a weird childish way EVERY time he saw them.
However, appreciate it may not bother some people!

OP posts:
sorechalfonts · 26/03/2025 21:49

What a bore and immature and embarrassing

Redflagsabounded · 26/03/2025 22:05

Tell him you don't want to be married to Jay from The Inbetweeners, and certainly don't want to have sex with him.

Gettingbysomehow · 26/03/2025 22:09

If he's been doing this for years and hate it I'd suggest he's doing it on purpose to spite you. You need to do something and mean business.

em2001ily · 26/03/2025 22:13

CalmReader · 26/03/2025 21:45

I’m not sure you’d find it attractive or funny if your 40 year old DH said it in a weird childish way EVERY time he saw them.
However, appreciate it may not bother some people!

So he isn't saying it in an admiring way, he's just genuinely making a joke?

Ellie56 · 26/03/2025 23:16

Keep your boobs to yourself and stop letting the stupid infantile twat see them. If that means changing and sleeping in the spare room away from him so be it.

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