I think my husband has given me the ick

[CalmReader]

I woke up with this realisation this morning and not sure how I can get past it!
For context we’ve been together 13 years, married 6 with 1 DS3

However he has this really annoying habit of shouting ‘boobs’ or ‘ooh boobs’ whenever I’m getting changed and they’re out. I’ve told him time & time again, I don’t like it, I mean, it’s not exactly a turn on is it?! It’s got to the point where I want to hide when I’m getting changed as I feel it’s childish - yes I have boobs, you’ve seen them countless times and they don’t need an announcement whenever they’re out!
He said it again last night when I was getting ready for bed and something in me just made me realise it’s a really annoying habit. It definitely doesn’t want to make me rip his clothes off, and in all honesty I think it’s given me the ick, but am I being silly?! How would everyone else react? Turn on or turn off?!

With behaviour like his I would want to shout "dick" everytime I saw him!

I’m delighted that my partner likes looking at my tits. I’m also delighted if he compliments me on them.

I would not, however, be delighted if he just shouted ‘ooh, boobs’ like a fucking five-year-old every time he saw them. It would be a huge turn off for me, partly because of the childishness and partly the predictability of it.

That’s literally sexual assault.

This! Perfect response in my opinion.

Every time he yells BOOBS! reply with SEXIST IDIOT!

I don’t like that he says this but where are his insults in it? OP doesn’t need to lower herself to those standards.

myplace
The problem is, when your partner behaves like a 7 yr old, it’s very hard to have sex with them.

This is so true. To remain lifelong lovers can be quite difficult, especially when you become the "adult" in the relationship, doing the housework, cooking, childcare etc with no help. Add childish behaviour (and the sleazy comments and groping) to the mix and it becomes really difficult to picture the same man as a sexy lover, dedicated to your pleasure. It's no wonder so many women struggle with their libido - being tired is one thing, but sharing your life with another child, rather than an equal partner, is the biggest passion killer.

Yes, I know I'm old and cynical, but I have seen these kinds of relationships where sex has become a rather unpleasant chore, solely because of immature behaviour. The question is, what else is there in the relationship that keeps it alive?

Please do this 😂

I would just tell him straight, please stop doing it because you sound 12 and 12 year old boys are not sexy.

Urgh… he’s not called Kevin is he? I had one like that years ago and I just left him for a grown up.

My DH used to do the same - I get changed in the bathroom now!

Yes, this.

Also, how old are both of you?

Or dick for that matter 🤣

I can understand that. I think there is a difference between admiring glances/compliments and what the OP's husband is doing though.

Unfortunately I doubt any of my future boyfriends will look at my boobs with a 'twinkle' in their eyes as mine are small! 🙄

Tell him firmly that he is being childish and disrespectful to you, emphasise that you hate it and there will be consequeces if he doesn't grow up. You decide what consequences :-). It would get on my nerves too so I sympathise.

See my reply to UnctuousUnicorns

So much paperwork instead of just telling him to stop the nonsense

He's doing something that you don't like and which makes you feel uncomfortable. You have told him that you don't like it and it makes you feel uncomfortable so he is fully aware of the situation.

Despite that, he keeps doing the thing which he knows you don't like and which makes you feel uncomfortable.

Now you are considering changing your behaviour to adapt to his, such as covering up when changing or moving to another room for privacy.

This is not right. This is not acceptable. This is sexual harassment.

Or “knob” / “oh knob” …

If you want to stop him just open your bedroom window and shout tiny dick or similar very loudly so your neighbours can hear.

I didn't marry him. I didn't even live with him, which is probably how I put up with it. I repeatedly told him that he was behaving like a teenager and he'd stop for a while and then go back to doing it again.

My partner has given me the ick over boobs today too. He constantly pulls my top up or touches my nipples.
I didn’t have a bra on and he pulled my top up as I was stood by the window knowing my neighbours could have seen. Of course he thought it was hilarious.

My ex-DH did something similar (peered down my top like he was in a Carry On film every time we were having a conversation and I was displaying any kind of cleavage). It gave me the major ick and any time I asked him to stop he'd just say it was a joke and carry on doing it.

In my experience anyway, that behaviour and the subsequent ignoring of your boundaries doesn't exist in a vacuum- turns out mine was a porn addicted sex pest. Is yours a creep in other ways?

This is horrendous! If he does this without your consent then it's sexual assault.

Has he always been like that or is it a recent affliction? Weird.