Page 7 | Found condoms...I have had Mirena for 11 + years

EdithBond · 26/03/2025 09:41

MeTooOverHere · 26/03/2025 03:10

They don't have 11 year "use by" dates.

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A quick google says shelf life of those type is 3-5 years.

Chunkilumptious · 26/03/2025 09:49

People keep mentioning the secret Santa possibility but these aren't purchased, they're in a paper bag with the date on. Clinic or sexual health giveaway. Teenage children is a possibility but I don't think secret Santa. Surely you would just buy a packet or give individual condoms for a joke not a free pack in a paper bag?

OP don't watch and wait on the basis of this find. These are fairly old and he may have bought more since. Not saying what to do/ confront/ it is definitely not your kids/ a blind eye isn't one strategy if you're genuinely ok with that but don't put your health at risk.

NeedToChangeName · 26/03/2025 10:14

Trust your instincts OP

Sorry this is happening to you

Chelsea2026 · 26/03/2025 10:19

noideaoffuturenow · 25/03/2025 17:38

So...I've had a Mirena in situ for 11+ years. Cleaning today-opened a random, unused cupboard (up v high & hard to reach) in the laundry room. Found a box..in it were a few of DH unworn Christmas jumpers, a tin of receipts and random objects inc a paper bag of 8 Skyn black packet condoms. UB 10/2026. Never ever known DH to use these even when we did use condoms. Many years ago....
Feel sick to my stomach.
What would you think?

I would feel sick to the stomach too! Unless your kids are using condoms, your husband is having an affair!

CandlePrick · 26/03/2025 10:21

So, providing no teenage kids are possible, not only has he been cheating OP but he has risked your health and decided to keep it a secret. The secrecy thing is a huge red flag on its own.

I would be prepared for him to deny like mad, but I would see this as irrefutable- those condoms are from the clinic for sure, not one buys condoms, opens the box, puts them in a paper bag and labels the bag. You just use the box. I’m so sorry OP.

LeaderBee · 26/03/2025 10:22

Doodleflips · 25/03/2025 22:37

They actually are. I checked on a forum with a lot of men, and the majority said they are a thing.

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Man here - Tried it once because you hear about it from mates or silly comments on Reddit, but it's shit and not convenient, it's more of a meme.

No man is having a posh wank seriously.

Anonforthis58 · 26/03/2025 10:24

CandlePrick · 26/03/2025 10:21

So, providing no teenage kids are possible, not only has he been cheating OP but he has risked your health and decided to keep it a secret. The secrecy thing is a huge red flag on its own.

I would be prepared for him to deny like mad, but I would see this as irrefutable- those condoms are from the clinic for sure, not one buys condoms, opens the box, puts them in a paper bag and labels the bag. You just use the box. I’m so sorry OP.

Edited

Sorry but had to laugh at this comment … of course he's going to keep an affair secret 😂😂 Honestly, do you expect a man to openly tell his wife he’s having an affair?? That’s laughable. The affair however, is not laughable.

CandlePrick · 26/03/2025 10:29

Anonforthis58 · 26/03/2025 10:24

Sorry but had to laugh at this comment … of course he's going to keep an affair secret 😂😂 Honestly, do you expect a man to openly tell his wife he’s having an affair?? That’s laughable. The affair however, is not laughable.

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Cool, glad you find it all so funny. How helpful.

I was talking about the fact that if he has been to the sexual health clinic, risking his wife’s health wasn’t enough for him to be honest to protect her, not the fact he hasn’t simply disclosed his affair. And yes - we’ve had threads here before of men who’ve come clean due to health risks.

Get on with you.

Anonforthis58 · 26/03/2025 10:33

CandlePrick · 26/03/2025 10:29

Cool, glad you find it all so funny. How helpful.

I was talking about the fact that if he has been to the sexual health clinic, risking his wife’s health wasn’t enough for him to be honest to protect her, not the fact he hasn’t simply disclosed his affair. And yes - we’ve had threads here before of men who’ve come clean due to health risks.

Get on with you.

Edited

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Well in this update you’re making things up, creating a scenario that you have no clue if it happened. IF he has been to a sexual health clinic. IF. If he’s been using condoms he’s unlikely to be going to a sexual health clinic. There are so many scenarios you could create - but you really should just stick to the facts.

I have not come across a single thread where a man has voluntarily told his wife he’s had an affair after going to a sexual health clinic. Not one. There are some where they’ve been found out then admitted it 🤔🤷‍♀️

CandlePrick · 26/03/2025 10:34

Anonforthis58 · 26/03/2025 10:33

Well in this update you’re making things up, creating a scenario that you have no clue if it happened. IF he has been to a sexual health clinic. IF. If he’s been using condoms he’s unlikely to be going to a sexual health clinic. There are so many scenarios you could create - but you really should just stick to the facts.

I have not come across a single thread where a man has voluntarily told his wife he’s had an affair after going to a sexual health clinic. Not one. There are some where they’ve been found out then admitted it 🤔🤷‍♀️

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Grow the fuck up and take your arguing elsewhere. I want to support the OP, I’m not reading your petty bitching.

Anonforthis58 · 26/03/2025 10:36

CandlePrick · 26/03/2025 10:34

Grow the fuck up and take your arguing elsewhere. I want to support the OP, I’m not reading your petty bitching.

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I’m not arguing 🤷‍♀️ Touched a nerve I think 🤔
I too hope the OP gets to the bottom of it and is okay.

CandlePrick · 26/03/2025 10:37

Anonforthis58 · 26/03/2025 10:36

I’m not arguing 🤷‍♀️ Touched a nerve I think 🤔
I too hope the OP gets to the bottom of it and is okay.

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How fascinating.

Isthiswhatmenthink · 26/03/2025 10:43

LeaderBee · 26/03/2025 10:22

Man here - Tried it once because you hear about it from mates or silly comments on Reddit, but it's shit and not convenient, it's more of a meme.

No man is having a posh wank seriously.

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Blows my mind how many women on here think men are using johnnies to have a wank. Seriously. They’re universally loathed at the best of times.

CagneyNYPD1 · 26/03/2025 10:47

Flippertygibbets · 25/03/2025 20:13

Gently, OP, you may have another issue here. Nobody with 4 kids and a job is so time rich and cash poor as to go and get free condoms from a clinic to have their affairs. You can buy them for a few quid. But they are given after clinic treatment.

You need an STD check up.

This was my first thought too. I’m so sorry @noideaoffuturenow

Sunnyside4 · 26/03/2025 11:02

You either bide your time and use it to dig, watch and wait.

If you can't do that then I'd be tempted to get things out of cupboard and those nearby when he's around with condoms mixed up in his jumpers. Initially see if he starts to panic.

If not, tell him you're having a clear out/tidy up and can he have a quick check to see if there's anything of his that can go out and leave him to it. Monitor who goes in that room over next hour or so and see if they disappear. If so and he's the culprit, you can again bide your time and work out what's right for you moving forward.

Redruby2020 · 26/03/2025 11:29

@mainecooncatonahottinroof

Why on earth would he have needed to go to a sexual health clinic if he hadn't been shagging someone other than his wife?

Yes that's why i said 'odd in this situation' and was explaining the bit about the paper bag, to say where they have most likely come from. Forgive me 😀 it was late, i literally read the post and wanted to say that before I went off.
Having come back today, I am not surprised that others have said the same.

Absolutely if he went to a clinic then yes I'm quite sure he has been up to something.

Redruby2020 · 26/03/2025 11:32

ARichtGoodDram · 26/03/2025 00:14

The paper bag does sound like a sexual health clinic.

I've never known one to give out Skyn's though - they're expensive. Most sexual health clinics give out Pasante or Durex.

The only time I've known Skyns be given out was a pop up clinic at a swingers club.

Oh crikey, a swingers club!

But in a bag with a date on the front and written, I think it is?
I'm thinking I can't remember a clinic giving me a bag with writing on, or a printed label or anything else, obviously writing if not overly obvious possibly, but usually that's the whole point to be discreet in the bag.
But then lol most know what it is if you walked out with one.

Yh I mean i haven't ever been given that brand was like you said.
I guess it could depend on what part of the country they are in.

Redruby2020 · 26/03/2025 11:34

2JFDIYOLO · 26/03/2025 00:49

There's the outside possibility they're a teenagers' - but why wouldn't they put them in their own room, probably hidden? Why in yours where they'd have to go in and retrieve them?

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's a duck.

Count them. Put them back and count them again after he's been away etc. Take a photo of where they are and see if they look the same next time you look.

Start digging. Go through his messy office and examine everything. Especially bank & credit card statements for anything odd, receipts, etc.

Or you could just ask him.

He'll lie. If he's bad at it, you'll know. If he's good at it you'll doubt yourself and think you're going nuts. And then he'll know you know - and will be super careful.

Without scrolling all the way back up, I'm sure OP said in the laundry room in an unused high up cupboard?
Not her room.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 26/03/2025 11:34

Init4thecatz · 25/03/2025 19:54

Ask any guy, posh wanks aren't a thing. I wouldn't be surprised if every guy hasn't tried it 'once', but given how they all complain how much sensation they miss out on while wearing them, you're not going to reduce the sensation with a condom.

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Yeah exactly...this is not a thing. Condoms make it feel worse, not better - no one uses one on themselves just for fun

It's like being caught smoking by your parents and saying you were just holding it for a friend

Digdongdoo · 26/03/2025 11:37

SmurfKingdom · 26/03/2025 09:20

No teenager would hide their stash of condoms in the laundry room.

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Wouldn't have thought the laundry room would be the hiding place of choice for many cheating husbands either....

user1492757084 · 26/03/2025 11:39

Could they belong to a previous owner of the house, a house guest, their teenager, someone who shared their car and left stuff in it, their cleaner?

Redruby2020 · 26/03/2025 11:40

Whatwouldyoudo26 · 26/03/2025 02:34

My ex found condoms in my room before but I had them way before our relationship... Do you think that's a possibility? Just condoms he had lying around before?
When did you last check this cupboard?

But OP has been with him many years from details given. With the exp date it's near to impossible that he could have had them all those years. I'm just thinking if I read right in the thread, that did they have to use condoms at some point I thought I read.
What ones if she knows, and where were they kept/could they be from then. But it's the paper bag with writing on doesn't add up.
I was thinking did he write it, does it look like his writing?
Rather than look inside and check the back of one of the packets for date.

Redruby2020 · 26/03/2025 11:42

Franjipanl8r · 26/03/2025 03:07

If they were in a bag with handwritten exp date on they could easily just be a free handout from a clinic. Just ask him.

That's if you can just pop in and get some without an appointment. I thought you can but not sure. And as they haven't needed them, then why would he pop in to get some.

Whohasseenmyglasses · 26/03/2025 11:44

Isthiswhatmenthink · 26/03/2025 10:43

Blows my mind how many women on here think men are using johnnies to have a wank. Seriously. They’re universally loathed at the best of times.

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I'm pleased to read this.

A few months back I was laughed off MN by someone saying I was naiive, ignorant etc etc as all men use them for wanking.

Whohasseenmyglasses · 26/03/2025 11:47

I never get this Sherlock Holmes type of advice- sneaking around, laying plots to catch the bastard out.

I'm afraid I'd just shove them in his face and ask why they were in the cupboard.

If he says he doesn't know it's clearly a lie.

Looking at the whole picture the OP has given of marriage issues, counselling on the cards, his frequent trips away, lack of openness with his phones etc- well, if it walks like a duck....you know the rest.