Have I done something drunk?

[Onslow1985]

I know this is a real wake up call to stop drinking but I just needed to mention on here for accountability. I went out for a friends 40th last night ended up at my local pub afterwards. Last ones in the pub with my friend who booked a taxi and somehow lost me in the pub, said I wasn’t in toilets and I can’t remember getting home. I don’t know if I’ve decided I was too drunk and left to walk home as I got home safe with all of my belongings and woke up fully clothed in bed. My husband was away for the night and he isn’t happy with me and rightly so. However I’m in panic mode that I don’t remember getting home at all and coming up with all sorts of scenarios, that I’ve ended up getting a lift off a random and inviting them in my house although there is nothing to suggest doing so. We weren’t talking to anybody in the pub and last ones in there. I’m really panicking! Don’t want to ask neighbour in case she’s seen something of these hopefully made up scenarios!

YiI’m are catastrophising. You most likely took yourself off home and got into bed. In the absence of any physical signs of harm and no memory of anything sinister, why convince yourself something bad happened?

the anxiety will dissipate in a day or two

You’ve got hangxiety. You’ll feel better in a couple of days and it won’t seem so bad.

Do you have a ring doorbell you can check? Have you been through your phone to see if you ordered an uber or sent messages?

The fact you were fully clothed is a good sign.

Nothing bad happened but as you say, it could well have. Definitely a wake up call.

I think nothing significant happened on the way home so there's nothing to remember as such.
Significant happenings tend to come back the next day.

I don’t, the neighbour has a camera and stays
up late so she might have seen me come in. I’m worried I didn’t walk and ended up in a car with a random or someone who worked at the pub as we were the last ones there. Frightened to ask her in case there is something dodgy.

No calls or texts on my phone. Didn’t see the messages from my friend so I don’t think I was on my phone at all x

I find it near impossible to believe a person can function well enough to still get home but not remember a single thing? Nothing at all? How drunk were you?

You were the last ones there but your friend "lost" you?

Have you had instances of memory loss when drunk before? Is it possible you were spiked? The fact you were at home fully clothed is positive. Maybe chalk it up to experience. We've all done silly things when drunk. I'm sure you'll feel less anxious in a few days.

That’s the worrying thing so I’m wondering is someone has given me a lift.

Well if she disappeared off home that would make sense that the friend couldn't find her!

OP you're safe and were fully clothed. Even if you did get a lift home it doesn't sound in any way dodgy. As a pp said, hangovers can make you feel super anxious, just be kind to yourself and get a good sleep. It's a good reminder to take it slow and pace yourself!

You've had an alcohol induced blackout which just means your brain wasn't processing any new memories last night, but it doesn't necessarily mean that in the moment you were so drunk you didn't know were you were.

It's most likely that you've made your way home hoe you would normally, walking, taxi or public transport.

I wouldn't worry about it. If you'd woken up somewhere unrecognisable or NEXT to someone unrecognisable... that's when to be scared!

I had this once in my twenties! I remember calling a cab, but I would have had to direct the driver (this was before everyone had satnav) and I had no memory of doing so. I said later that I must be a homing pigeon as I had no memory of directing anyone but must have. It was a horrible feeling and I felt a bit 'wrong' about it for ages. I absolutely sympathise with you. Obviously, you'll want to lay off the booze a bit.

Oh - I see! I read it as her friend left the pub and she was still there.

As a previous poster says, at a certain point your brain stops creating memories, but this doesn't necessarily mean you were completely incapable at that time. I used to be a problem drinker (sober now) and this happened to me a few times. I know it is scary but it doesn't necessarily imply you were completely incapable or out of control while it went on (obviously you very likely weren't in a fit state to perform open heart surgery - but you see what I mean).

Your paranoia is a common effect of the alcohol too.

No judgement here at all (how could there be?) but if I were you I would think carefully about whether abstinence might be the way forward. And, more importantly, what prompted you to drink so much? It is often an attempt to escape some aspect of reality - and, as you know, there are better and healthier ways to deal with your problems. But first you have to work out why you feel like that in the first place.....

Really unlikely anything happened if there's no signs of it.

If you are sore or anything like that, then you might have reason to worry, but if you've no physical effects other than a hangover, you probably just got yourself home and just don't remember it.

Once you start having blackouts from drinking, you tend to have them more often - and you might not always be unscathed.

Time to really rethink your drinking habits. Let this horrible beer-fear motivate change.

Maybe you were spiked. Go back to the pub and ask about CCTV.

This, but it might be good to use this is a learning curve

At university I did that several times. Admittedly it was only a 10 minute walk, but you can certainly be that drunk and get home under your own steam.

We were out for bottomless & then returned to the local for more Prosecco, I honestly think it was just blackout. I’ve been thinking about contacting the pub just to see if they can shed any light on how o got home as like I say I’m now wondering if someone who worked there maybe even took me home. Don’t want to see it incase it’s bad just got such a bad feeling about it.

I second this.

Putting aside my absolute hatred of bottomless brunches and surprise that they’re even allowed (because they’re not only tacky, they also promote problem drinking), it feels as though many people who go to them don’t end up black out drunk. It is quite a stretch between very drunk and black out drunk.

From how you speak about your drinking in your post it sounds like this isn’t the first time? Is that right? Or you’ve felt that your drinking has been getting worse? If so, you need to stop. Basically as soon as you wonder if you’ve got a problem, you’ve already had a problem for a while.

But as for the not knowing, if you were fully clothed and no other signs, you made it home…I’d let it go. I used to black out a lot and would seem drunk but not black out drunk to other people. Apparently I’d just be functioning “normally”, and I’d find myself back home somehow. It’s horrible and frightening but as this poster says, you don’t necessarily lose all abilities, just your memory.

there are still times I think about from years ago. Worry I did something I shouldn’t or wouldn’t have otherwise. Just because it is so shocking and such an awful experience. I felt the way you’re feeling so many times - please don’t continue with your drinking but just relax now and look after yourself. And honestly anyone trying to guilt you can just piss off - it’s bad but not because you’re some bad person, it’s bad because it’s a clear sign you have a problem in some way with drink and need support and love and care. Not punishment or criticism.

I wouldn't unless you've got some other reason to think something happened beyond a "bad feeling" that's probably purely the beer-fear.

You can be left with these awful feelings of dread after drinking, it doesn't mean anything bad happened.

I know I convince myself I’ve done something horrendous like go off with someone or like I said in the OP invited someone back to my house. When my friend said we were the only two left in the pub and weren’t talking to anyone. I’m now thinking oh well if that’s the case it must of been the staff or something. I do struggle with five miscarriages and the pain around that so drinking does not help but this is also combined with the fact that Prosecco does not agree with me at all and had lead to blackout drunk in the past x