Family Drama vs serious activity

[Staceysmum2025]

I will delete this account shortly just looking for thoughts.

My sibling married someone had two children and has tried to reinvent himself to a degree.
But there are skeletons in the cupboard like ever family all bit these are serious.

Does someone marrying into a family with 2 small children have the right to know she is sharing space with a convicted/ imprisoned child sex offender for example?

The person pleaded guilty. Served the sentence. Its now being rewritten as they just thought theyd plea bargain.
This was after paying £15,000 to the victim in 2002 - alot of money at the time to pay them off.
Doesn’t sound like a lack of guilt to me.

The information has been kept from the parents by the grandparents.

Sadly I’m not surprised but you have done the right thing.

You say this is your mother's sister's husband, so your uncle? Does your brother and wife spend any time with your aunt and uncle? It's good she is aware and can avoid her uncle in law but beyond that, I'm not sure what you want from your brother and sister in law. What is your experience with your uncle like?
In your mum's shoes, I would have done the same thing and given you a very sanitised version (depending on your ages, of course) on why we will very rarely, if ever, see uncle Ray again.

Unfortunately, this is much more common than people think. Paedophiles don’t go around with a big sign on them (sadly). They are dads, uncles, stepfathers, “nice” blokes in the garden centre. Never ever assume that it couldn’t be true of someone you know. You absolutely did the right thing and I’m sorry you’re being so unfairly blamed. Much respect for being the one to stand up for the truth.

Hi, have you tried the website (don't want to type it out properly) uk HYPHEN database dot org?

The newspaper will definitely have it in their archives. It’s possible you could find it here: https://www.britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk

How has he been allowed to be in such a position ?

They may have done so unknowingly for quite a while. More recently, however, they failed to disclose a knowledge of conviction when told. I’m not saying you have to tell their employer. I’m just looking at this from what you’ve said on the thread. And well done for coming out and telling people. Have you contacted the police to tell them he is living with children?

I would be concerned about the abuser having access to any children in the community, whether it be family, social or professional related.
Make an anonymous disclosure to Social Services setting out all the facts known to you and say those people who are aware are in denial and therefore cannot be protective.
An investigation ought then to be carried out regarding safety. Advising the wife of his prior conviction would not necessarily be at all useful if she is persuaded that it was a mistake or he has changed etc. Her ability to protect needs assessing, too.
Only by doing this can you feel assured that you will bear no responsibility for future abuse. Your family already blames you so let the professionals be blamed

When was your brother actually told the truth OP, or was he never told the truth until now?

I think you are being a little harsh to involve his employers etc if he has been lied to all his life and never told anything, how would he even know about it? Of course he is going to parrot the story he has been told, why would he have any reason to suspect a lie?

If you found out years ago have you never discussed it with him either? Why not?

JFC. Absolutely unbelievable. He should have been in prison or at least living a shit life. But no, he has a beautiful house and a wife. 🤬

So many decent single women around who can't find a good man, and a beast like that has a life partner! Can you imagine a man staying with a woman who's a paedophile? Sometimes I think we women should take a leaf out of men's book and care less about relationships. (I know that's a wild generalisation, but from all the marriage break-ups I'm seeing in midlife, it mostly seems to be the men.)

OP, it seems to me that your mother and brother are in deep denial.

I had reason to look up old newspapers recently, I registered with British Newspaper Archive and got hundreds of responses going back 150 years for the topic I was looking for, then I started looking for stories of people I know, luckily no crimes, but lots and lots of sweet little things, basically anything that has ever been in our local paper! But you can search specific areas/papers, names and dates.

I'm pretty sure you'd be able to find it there:

https://www.britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk/

The only other thing i would mention is that it does depend on the crime. I know two men who were very close to being charged as young men, in both cases they had met who they thought were young women in night clubs but turns out they were under 16, only the fact they met in an over 18’s club stopped them from being prosecuted, one case was 25 years ago, the other was much more recently. If you are convicted of statutory rape you are put on the sex offences register, this seems the right thing when the older person knew the true age, very unfair when they didn’t know

Well it was absolutely nothing along those lines. It was a child molested from the age of five till 12.

Statutory rape in the UK means sex with a child under the age of 13.

Sexual activity with a child under 16 is illegal but it's not statutory rape.

If your friend was accused of statutory rape then we are talking about a young child and they might be glossing over some of the detail.

Jesus fuck. No one, and I mean no one is pleading guilty to that unless they know - because there is substantial evidence - they will be found guilty at trial. With evidence given at trial they have no room to control the narrative, which is why they plead guilty first and can say they were trying to avoid a harsh sentence.

He was very obviously not in any way innocent. They will have had clear evidence and he denied them the chance to prove it so he could weasel around claiming it all got blown out of proportion. Vile scum.

Newspapers will have their own archive of stories.
Someone related to a friend of my aunts was convicted over 20 years ago and it can still be found with some digging on the internet.
It was minimised by his family, he thought she was 16 (police found messages in which the girl told him she was going to be 13 soon) pleaded guilty to get it over with. All big lies, judge called him a predator, he did it to more than one girl and served 17 months of a 3 year sentence.

He changed his plea last minute after the trial, there are very clear sentencing guidelines so I dont know what to make of the plea bargaining claims. The family legal eagle reckons unlikely unless he gave away other paedophiles in which case the plot thickens.

I cannot find it, ive spent most of today looking

It was a thick predator soup that we was steeping himself in. Ah yes, a very safe man all round.

Library is your source of info. It will be there in black & white.

No old man/woman pride is worth sacrificing a child. You won’t be the only person who remembers … women especially have long memories about dangerous men. Sadly, the wife often blind to it all.

https://www.britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk/

You should be able to find it here but you have to register.

It only goes up to 1999 for the newspaper that I need so frustrating

I’d contact the newspaper directly. My local newspaper has archives going back 100 years or more.