Family Drama vs serious activity

[Staceysmum2025]

I will delete this account shortly just looking for thoughts.

My sibling married someone had two children and has tried to reinvent himself to a degree.
But there are skeletons in the cupboard like ever family all bit these are serious.

Does someone marrying into a family with 2 small children have the right to know she is sharing space with a convicted/ imprisoned child sex offender for example?

The person pleaded guilty. Served the sentence. Its now being rewritten as they just thought theyd plea bargain.
This was after paying £15,000 to the victim in 2002 - alot of money at the time to pay them off.
Doesn’t sound like a lack of guilt to me.

The information has been kept from the parents by the grandparents.

I was told by our joint mother.
as I said at the time my children were little so I presume she had to tell me because he would’ve been on the sex offenders register at the time and my kids were toddlers.

So the victim of this crime offered him the option of paying her £15,000 to keep quiet and not go to the police.
Apparently this £15,000 was paid
And then they went to the police.
Absolutely no evidence of it anymore, it was on the front page of a newspaper at the time 2003 because I remember googling it.
That seems to have been removed as is his right to be forgotten apparently after a certain period of time so I’ve got nothing.

This.
Tell social services that a convicted sex offender is still around children and ask they check everyone is safe.

No, that was my mother. Who did that.
She told me that she has deliberately kept this from my younger brother. And then worked in the NHS herself.
But she’s retired now the damage is done,

I find it a bit worring that your DB is holding such a position but even refuses to look into what your DM's husband has done.

Was the case ever reported in the local paper....if so a name in the search bar should bring up the case.

Tell her. Just that tell her.

I wasn’t aware that the digital footprint of the trial etc would be removed after 10 years. In your case I’d approach newspapers in the area the court case was and ask them to look in their archives. I’m sure they will have a physical copy and let you have photocopies etc. Whilst they might not be on the register after 10 years, there isn’t a media blackout of the case after 10 years.

@Inthedeep I believe you can request to be forgotten on the Internet Google search engines along waves lines. I mean I could give the Birmingham a call. It was front page news at the time. And conveniently, he was sentenced the week before my wedding. So that I sort of sticks in my mind.

@Staceysmum2025

Above all else, you did the absolute right thing in telling your SiL. If your family ostracizes you, you'll have to find peace in knowing you did what you could to protect innocent children. And TBF, I wouldn't want to be around people who would 'whitewash' something like that anyway. Back away, don't bother trying to defend yourself. It'll only frustrate you all the more when they argue back.

As far as the future, that's pretty much out of your control. At this point if your DB and SiL choose to turn a blind eye to the truth there's nothing you can do to change that. BUT, if you hear that they are leaving their children alone with or to be cared for by this couple (your aunt and 'uncle'?) then notify SS. You may think his past has been 'scrubbed' by time, but I assure you that SS will be able to find it out.

I'm surprised though that there's nothing still online about him. Info on the internet seems to last forever. But if you remember the papers it was reported in, they'll have paper archives or microfilm you may be able to research.

The point is even if they were presented with other receipts as I believe the young people call them and proof that he was convicted. The antique and the mother will just counteract that with he was wrongly convicted.

Anybody coming into contact with adults or children with previous sexual or domestic violence offences has to be made aware. Everybody has a duty of care to protect others being adults or children.

Newspaper archives? Usually scanned, probably at that time, scanned & digitized. Since it’s copies of printed pages, good chance you could find it on the local news archives.
Doubt someone goes back to these and blots it out. But then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some sort of organization protecting sex offenders rights … travelling the nation with a black sharpie.

Visit your local library, say you are researching and looking for X newspapers from 2003. Do they have archives access??

I’d definitely contact the local papers for their archives. I’ve had a quick google and it says that is the best way to find the information as the press coverage will probably contain more information about the trial and conviction than the court documents. I’m assuming he was tried at Crown Court and not magistrates?

Plea bargains don't officially exist in England and Wales, it's more of an American thing, so this excuse of his sounds like bollocks.

If they say he was wrongly convicted I'd want proof that he fought tooth and nail for an appeal.

There's no way if I were indeed innocent when being accused of crimes against children that I'd let it lie, whether I had to serve the sentence or not once out I'd still be shouting to clear my name.

My thoughts exactly, especially given actually it was a completely separate matter. And there would’ve been absolutely no issue with securing the conviction against both of them. I can’t see the CPS wasting that opportunity.

He pleaded guilty

I do think you need to consult with children's services. There are two small children possibly being placed at risk of sexual abuse. None of ten adults around them seem understand the risk and therefore will not be able to appropriately safeguard. Children's services will be able to gather appropriate and relevant information so the risk can be properly understood. They will also be able to have more robust discussions with the parents that may support their understanding of risk and therefore their capacity to safeguard their children.

And this is where you have to 'make peace'. Right now it's 'your word against theirs', right? If it would help you to feel you've done everything possible to convince them, then research and provide the proof. But then you'll have to make peace with yourself if they ignore it or allow others to 'explain it away'. You will have done everything you can other than reporting to SS.

And reporting to SS is an option if you feel the children are in active danger. I'm sure SS will investigate and make a decision as to whether this man presents a danger to the children in question. At this point, what do you have to lose? But that decision is up to you. Perhaps you could speak to NSPCC anonymously. They can advise you about what reporting would mean. They can even take an anonymous report, although it's likely your family will know it was you.

I'm not in the UK. But where I am (US) even if someone has been removed from the register, the authorities can still use a prior conviction to 'ban' that person being around children or other vulnerable people if they feel that person still presents a danger. Because a conviction is still a conviction. Being taken off the registry doesn't negate that.

Are the "grandparents" looking after the children or picking them up from school? It might be worth contacting the school if there's a chance a SO could be on the premises.

I’ll tell you this, I’d rather wrongly go to jail and rot there for the rest of my life than voluntarily plead guilty to CSA.

But I guess that’s just my integrity talking.

Just to clarify; The police and child protection will have very different ways of viewing these situations. The police will need evidence to convict. Social services only need enough evidence that someone is a risk to a child to safeguard them. They do not need a criminal conviction to assess that somebody (on the balance of probability) is high rish to a child and should be kept the fuck away from them, nor should any responsible adult.

Oh! Another thing. Pleading guilty (and then insisting afterwards you only did so to avoid harsher sentence) is also a very, very good way to silence victims who have stacked the evidence against you.

You remain in control of the narrative: with no trial the victim’s evidence never gets officially released. This means whatever they had on him he can pretend did not exist and therefore maintain an air of innocence. But realistically, if innocent he would not plead guilty. You only plead guilty if you know for near enough certain the court will find you guilty either way. So question remains, why was he so sure the court would find him guilty?

They must have had quite substantial evidence if he was that scared.

I would tell everyone and anyone. I would also cut contact with my mother and brother.

I would also reach out to your cousin

And yes I would also tell social services your brothers children are at risk - and any other schools/groups if he (the offender) might be involved with. I’d go nuclear and would be very happy to pay the cost of losing family relationships