DP wants baby

[Teaandtwobiscuits]

I’ve been with my partner for 5 years. I have a DS from a previous relationship. When we got together I told DP that I didn’t see myself having any more children, he was fine with this and said that he wasn’t sure if he wanted any DC himself.

Anyway, DP told me at the weekend that he wants a baby and that he understands if I don’t want one, but it will mean that we will have to separate. I completely respect DPs position on this, he would be a great dad and I don’t want him to miss out on having that experience, but I just don’t have a desire to have any more children.

I’m now in a really difficult situation; I either have a baby, to keep him or he leaves and not only do I lose my DP but my DS loses his step dad who he loves. We have a lovely life together, we’re all happy and I’d be heartbroken if we separate, but I fear that I’d resent him if I have a baby to make him stay (also aware that if he stays now, it doesn’t mean that he’d never leave in the future).

My DS is 6 and absolutely does not want a sibling either, he cries anytime anyone mentions it (eg family members often ask “would you like a little brother or sister”).

FWIW I am financially independent so if we do separate I won’t have to move house etc.

Has anyone been in this situation, if so what did you do and how did it turn out?

I do have sympathy with this man because he is in a very difficult situation, he can't help the fact that he's strongly feels he wants to be a parent.
The problem is he left it too late, if you want to be a parent it needs to be a priority from a young age otherwise you will miss the boat and he has missed the boat.

He has chosen to live a life where he doesn't push himself or make much of an effort, that's a valid choice but he will reap the consequences of that choice.

I bet this loser will quickly backtrack when the OP remains firm.
He has it far too cushty to be going anywhere.

He hasn’t missed the boat fertility wise and plenty of people with little money have DC. OP understandably prioritises her existing DC, her health and wishes and financial stability over his wishes.

‘If you loved me…’
Those famous first words of abusers.

It's not just the lack of money, he's never been a proper adult and run a household, paid bills, financially planned etc. He sounds like a man-child.