Husbands food preferences driving me crazy - NEW THREAD

[Jessa85]

NEW THREAD for those following my thread from yesterday!

I will post the update of my conversation with my husband in a second.Original thread

Sending you strength and positivity today @Jessa85 💪 🧡 💐

Another following your threads and admiring your strength. Wishing you and your girls a bright new future. Keep that star shining today.

I'm sure you know this but be prepared for it all to hit you like a sledgehammer once you've finalised everything Jessa, this is so huge and you've put everything into getting things sorted you must be physically and emotionally exhausted. I'm glad you'll have Mum and Grandad's support, make sure you look after yourself, you have been an awesome and formidable woman, nothing less than he deserves I hope it works out well, but remember to allow yourself some time to heal, it could be a tricky ride if he has a tendency to be cold.

One thing that I've wondered is if he was planning UAE with OW why did he show you the accounts/investments? Does he have further accounts tucked away?

Best of luck with everything, your girls should be very proud. Take good care

Good luck. Thinking of you and wishing you every happiness!! You so deserve it 😘

I have only just read both your threads.

You are one amazing lady, I salute you. 🫡.

I sincerely wish you all the best for today and the coming weeks.

I used to have a very taxing job, but the mundane stuff clears your head, it's part of family life, he's obviously too important for that.

Erm, are you on the right thread? Or did you get take a wrong turn at the 1950s? Read the updates dear

I’ve read every post from the start, and your strength shines through. You and your daughters will be so much better off as a team without his negativity. I can just imagine the wonderful Christmas you are going to have this year, all joyful and loving with your little family unit safe and content.

I would be very inclined to batch cook 20 or so meals of stuff he likes, (all the same in a big pot), freeze into portions, and dish up the same thing until he's eaten them, then just do another batch cook.

I would also leave him after getting my fair share of what's going, that is yours by right.

Why are so many men like this? It's so sad to see the attitudes of men on here.

Take care, and good luck.

You need to RTFT

And just think of all the lovely christmas food the family will have without old fussy guts around to ruin it!

Good advice about recording F2F conversations on your phone. I just wanted to let you know how to record phone calls as well...

Go and find an old phone. Download Voice Recorder on to it. Put your 'ordinary' phone on speaker to record both sides.

Yes, I know this sounds obvious, but it's to warn you against using Voice Recorder on your 'main' phone - due to clever GDPR stuff, it (and any other recording app) will record only one side of the conversation.

Good luck with today! Love and support beaming their way through the ether.

Yes, I've just read the whole of these threads and now just about in tears. Everything you have done could form the basis of a manual for a woman who needs to leave her husband. Why not take a copy of the thread and when you have recovered, write that manual?

You have so much courage and stamina. All good wishes to you and may you have a happy future with your girls.

Food luck today Jessa. Sending comforting thoughts of chunky vegetable soup with a big dollop of sour cream. I wish you all the best.

Oh heck just been reading your threads. It's all been covered, the power of MN at its absolute best, BUT to add, you will be running so hard on adrenaline and rage right now, and that's good. It should get you through this bit. When he knows, and he crawls off to her to lick his wounds, that will start to subside and that's the bit to take extra care of yourself. Even with all this rage and realisation, some grief and shock will be normal, and it's hard to manage in the face of the contempt and dislike you hold for him.

Drab, tho. Fucking fucker. Not as drab as his miserable, shrivelled up little soul. You're fabulous.

Good luck today, thinking of you and wishing you strength!

Sending a message of good luck too OP. I spent far longer than I should have getting out of a relationship with a financially abusive, gaslighting cheat of an ex husband years ago.

Now 14 years after I left this year I'm very happily married, and have climbed the career ladder to senior status with the pay to go with. Anything is possible for you from here! Wishing you all the luck dropping the bomb later

Every decent person here is cheering you on, you go girl, you have so got this!

Rooting for you today, @Jessa85

Just a thought, though. Wouldn't doing the transfers while he's in the air (or moving the car before he's at her's) alert him too soon & risk him reacting by coming straight home to defend his right to be in the house (when he pleases), and make it hard for you to get him to clear out?

I'm thinking it's in your best interest to let him smugly travel to her's from the airport as he planned, and get his feet under her table with his guard down - then deliver car whilst having finger poised to press 'confirm on bank transfer'.

That'll put a spanner in their cosy loved-up evening, and he's less likely to then try to dig his heels in with awkward presence at the marital home, because he'd risk losing face and favour with OW if purposefully choosing not to move in with her when it's clear to her you aren't stopping him - (and to the contrary that you're actively wanting shot of his sorry ass).

All the best, Jessa!

I've been following your posts and wish you all the very best of luck for today, and for everyday. You're amazing. He doesn't deserve you or your DDs. Sending you loads of love and best wishes xx

Another here adding my support. Your daughters have an amazing, strong and resourceful mum.

I was thinking exactly the same. It is certainly a warning to listen to your gut, to start looking for evidence to back it up. Not to put up with emotional or financial abuse. I will remember to his thread to recommend to friends if they need a complete guide to handling shit with dignity. Good luck today op xx

@Jessa85 it would have been wonderful if the divorce papers were ready to serve and you could have left them for him on the passenger seat of his flash car!! good luck xx

Don't know if this advice is to late but..

Don't tell him you know about his finances.
Let him hide money.
Let him be caught red handed.
That's massive leverage in settlement process.

Food luck

As someone who works in this area GDPR shouldn’t be an issue if you are recording the call for your personal life/ recollection of events. GDPR doesn’t cover people in their home life. It would only become an issue if you wanted to use the actual recording in court etc. but it may still be permissible depending on the circumstances and your solicitor can advise. I’d say record if you can even just for your own piece of mind!