AIBU for expecting him to pay?

[fl00b]

My partner moved in 6 weeks ago after our son was born. Since then he hasn't paid, or offered to pay for anything towards bills or rent. The past week I've had to send him over £100 too as he's had no money for petrol or food at work. I also pay for all his food at mine. He used to live with his mum and pay her board.

I've received my first wage slip from work with my maternity pay on and I can't live on such a low amount whilst supporting a house, 4 children and him. I'm also not entitled to any benefits because he lives with me and works.

I hinted to him that I might need him to start helping out by showing him my wage-slip, and his words were that I could explore going back to work for 2 days a week (my son is only 6 weeks old) then I think the penny dropped for him and he offered to give me some money. However deep down I feel awful for taking off him which I know I shouldn't, but I don't know how else I'm meant to survive.

What fresh hell is this? Why are so many women putting up with - and PAYING for, and even worse, having kids with - these absolutely cretinous men-children?

OP - are you insane? Of course your partner should be paying for his own damn child and supporting you during maternity leave. It sounds like he's 12 years old from what you've posted. Either he steps up and pays half the bills or you boot him out. It's that simple.

This has to be rage bait, surely?

On what planet is it ok to have a man move in with you without a discussion of how he is going to contribute to rent and the bills. You have had a baby with this man - he should absolutely be paying his fair share and ‘hints’ clearly don’t work so you need to sit him down and lay it out - include what you’ve lost by him living there. You should not e facing additional stress - you’ve just had a baby.

Do you don't need a sponger, soaking up your money, living for free and then expecting you to do 90% of the housework thereby soaking up all the energy uni have?

Say what now - you feel bad for asking him for money? Seriously, are you bonkers? This is his child, and he needs to step up. FFS op, why was this not discussed earlier? He should be supporting you financially just now as you are on maternity leave - simple. If he won’t, send him back to his mother, where frankly he should have stayed all along...

He needs to support his child and contribute if he has moved in.

Who is the father of the other 3 children?

If people wish to get enraged, I suppose. How many pages in, and only one post from the OP!

Is this a joke, 3 kids already and a 4th with someone you weren’t even living with, recipe for disaster!

Move him on and get CS from him or you'll end up with 5 kids

This! Three of the children aren’t his.

So, you have 3 children, added another with this waster with no plan or conversation, he slides into your home with no discussion around responsibilities, he contributes nothing, you still GIVE him money, and now you're broke?

You have 4 children FFS! Catch a hold of yourself, get rid of the loser and start making better choices. Absolutely ridiculous 🤦🏾‍♀️!

Why has he not paid anything? That’s absolutely ludicrous!

He’s suggesting you go back to work whilst your baby is only 6 weeks old - or he can do more hours at work if more money is needed.

He has only now offered to give you money - this should never have been an option to him.

He’s a parasite.

Let him move back in with his mother - you can claim benefits and he can pay child maintenance.

Interesting though how you don’t feel bad taking money from the state by way of benefits but you do feel awful for asking him to contribute to his own child. It’s your partner’s responsibility to be paying for the child he fathered. The state will support you but first and foremost a child’s parents should be doing their bit where possible - he clearly is not. You will be much better without him in your home.

He's not acting like a child at all, but a calculating con artist and you are his willing victim. Sending him a hundred pounds, FGS.
Work out how much he owes, including the £100 and divide it in to future payments. That, or pack his bags. This is your child's money he's stealing.

These type of threads are becoming depressingly regular on here. I have read so many lately!
What on earth is your boyfriend spending his money on?
If you want the relationship to have a future, you need to sit down and work out finances between you. If he drags his feet or refuses to contribute, you'd be better off without him.

helpful. should she pop the baby back in?

Kindly.....how were you expecting to raise 3 children who aren't his when you decided to get pregnant with a 4th. He's a dick but you aren't entirely blameless here. You are both adults and should have had these conversations long before having another child

Why did you have a baby with him?
Why do women do this to themselves m?? 🤦🏾‍♀️

This post can’t be real, surely?! 😱

You won't feel so bad asking for cash when your children are hungry (I hope)

YABU both of you for not having a conversation about money and bills before he moved in, YABU for hinting, you need to outright tell him he has to contribute or he’ll be back at his mums. Why would you feel awful for taking money from him when he is quite happy to take from you? He’s a grown man, a father who needs to contribute.

Are you crazy? Why are you looking after this manchild? You had 3 children already - does their father pay anything? He certainly should (if alive, apologies if he's passed away).
Your new DP and father of your baby should be looking after you while you're on maternity leave, not the other way around. AND he should be paying towards the house AT LEAST what you lose out on by him moving in, plus half the cost of his own baby.
Did you not discuss finances when he moved in? Did you not discuss the cost of raising this child?

OMG

Taking off him when you shouldn't? Bloody hell woman.

Everyone listen up. Don't get knocked up by someone who can't support himself and you while you're growing and caring for his tiny baby.

He pays a minimum of a fifth of all costs or he fucks off back to mummy and you put in a claim for child support. Also he needs to pay more than 50% of the baby's costs as you are on a lower wage.

Make sure you don't get pregnant again.

Get it together, girl. Use your head.

"However deep down I feel awful for taking off him which I know I shouldn't, but I don't know how else I'm meant to survive."

FFS, why shouldn't you ask him to pay his way?? He paid board and lodging at home with his mother and should expect to cough up now he is living with you.

Stop bank rolling him and chuck the freeloading twat out.

Also, stop with the hinting nonsense. If you can't use your words with someone you're having sex with you shouldn't be having sex with them.