If you had to pick between having a child or having a partner?

[Verynice44]

I’m not asking you to pick between your actual child or partner, as of course everyone would (or should) pick their children.
but hypothetically, if you had to pick one or other for your life, and forgo the other, which would you choose?
I would pick having a child and forgo a relationship.

edited to add- please say if you have kids when you answer or are child free

Ask me 10 years ago I would have said child.
Ask me now with teenagers, I would say partner.

As much as my partner is my world - I’d pick children.

for me it’s an unimaginable love

I do think if you have young kids it’s quite easy to sway towards kids - I find it a bit odd to go the other way

I felt the same until my baby was here - and then for me - it changed quite suddenly to baby

but everyone’s different. I do still consider my dh my world and rock

Child. No contest.

Partner.

I have 2 small kids and can honestly say that nothing they do improves my life in any way. If I had my time over again, I wouldn't have kids at all.

At the age of 33 I married XH knowing that we might not haveDC due to medical issues.

i said I would rather be with him and childless than on my own. I’d been single for a long time and I thought he was The One.

we were lucky enough to have 1 DC before divorcing when she was 4. As much as I love her it’s been hard bringing her up on my own.

partner, yes I know people can't predict life but I think it is incredibly selfish to deliberately having a child without being a relationship where you both want to have and raise a child together

it is not fair on the child, it is not want the adults want or not

I would never have chosen to be a single parent - it would always be partner.

Child, I've managed without romantic love for many years

Another vote for cats.

Child free by choice and also remaining single by choice.

Child. As if you would pick your partner over your child!

Partner. I didn't want kids but my DH did and I would've been happy enough without kids but with dogs.

I adore my 2 kids now and in a fire I'd save kids over my DH because they're more important than us and we'd both want it that way. I'd struggle to raise kids without a partner though.

I always thought child but having been through the try to conceive journey now and having suffered the loss of my dad, a miscarriage, a house renovation and a shitty time at work - my DH. He's been my rock and best friend and doing life without him feels scarier than doing it without a child. I desperately want a child but if I couldn't have one we'd still have a nice life and adapt.

If I do it right, I'd have 18 years of a child before they go off and live their own life. I'll have 30-40 years of my DH hopefully till we die. And if not, my DC would never be a substitute for adult companionship so id be buggered anyway. Too many parents treat the child like a surrogate partner which is horrible for a child's growth so I think it's important we don't treat it as a choice - we have children to raise them and release them into the world. We have partners to be our companions through it all and beyond.

@Verynice44 why do you ask?

Child, I left a longterm partner to go it alone and become a parent.

Partner. My life would be dull and boring without my wonderful husband.

My partner, he makes life so much better

Stunned at all the people ( women) picking partners over children. No wonder so many kids have attachment issues and behavioural problems now!

Child. It’s a no brainer for me

Bloody hell! Nothing they do improves your life. I’m shocked/ surprised?! How old

Child. My ex and I split because he was never ‘ready yet’ to have children and age was not on my side. Now a solo mum and don’t regret it one bit

Child. I've never felt about anyone the one I feel about my dc - I absolutely adore them!

Child/ren. Been with my husband 21 years and have two teens together.

If push came to shove a partner is replaceable, my kids are not.

I’m really happy I have both!

however, I wouldn’t have wanted to be a single mum, not for me. So I’d say partner, but he’d have to be for life!

I always said I would have children on my own if I haf to through ivf before I met my exh at 31. I then married him very quickly and had 2 children very quickly. We are now divorced. But it was worth the pain and heartache as I'm left with 2 amazing kids. I have a full time career too so although I wanted kids, I never wanted to be a SAHM.