Hi, my long distance boyfriend (40) broke up with me almost two weeks or so ago . I am 33. I have two children from a previous relationship. He has no children.
He told me he had autism but after speaking to people and posting on here, everyone suspected he actually was a narcissist. I just don’t know.
He told me he wanted space as he was having a “meltdown” due to stress and being stuck offshore , he blocked me everywhere so I couldn’t get in touch as messaging me was “stressing him out”. I gave him a week and got in touch with him via email to check if he was okay. He got really angry at me for contacting him and went on a complete fit of rage, telling me to leave him alone, I was ruining his career and life and that if I had left him alone he would have been ok etc.
then he decided to just break up with me, he told me he wasn’t capable of liking me anymore, let alone loving me. If I wanted him to kill himself just so I would leave him alone
He then emailed me 30 mins later saying I always had his attention, I should have relaxed and let the relationship be good. he told me he would speak when his job is finished if there was anything we could save.
I was devastated but I have two children so I just had to get on.
A week later he emailed me saying “I will speak when this job is finished, I don’t want anymore stress right now, could be a week or two but we will talk things through ” whatever that means?
I think I’m struggling to understand that if he truly cared and loved me , he wouldn’t want to risk losing me by blocking me everywhere. But he told me that he is autistic and doesn’t “miss” people and that he struggles to tell people he loves them . I’m just wondering if he ever actually cared for me or whether because of his autism, blocking me seems like a normal thing for him.
I’m just trying to find tips to heal, as I keep hitting brick walls .
I keep dreaming about the situation, waking up feeling really sad. I miss him so much , I miss talking to him, being with him, his voice . He used to be so loving towards me and talk about our future. We went to beautiful places together and he used to be so excited about showing me all these places. I feel like I have nothing good coming for me and that I won’t find love or a man like him again and I’m going to be alone.
He could potentially contact me this week as he said before. What do I do if he gets in touch? Do I listen to what he has to say? Do I believe him that he was in crisis and has autism?
I want to be with him again so badly. But how can I make sure that he was telling the truth and he wasn’t cheating on me /deceiving me or anything while he had blocked me. And that he won’t do it again. If you’ve seen my other post, I had found a hair bobble in his bathroom which he swears was his exes and he questioned me after he left me in the car with his phone and asked if I had looked at his phone while he was out the car as a notification had vanished (I didn’t look at it) . There was also other various red flags etc and my brain has tried to make sense of it but I’ve just been left even more confused.