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Original poster

My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else

477 replies

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

OP posts:
Winterwonders24 · 14/02/2025 18:04

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

Piece of your mind? "How dare you do what i did?!?!" Raise your standards,improve your self worth

Findmethesmallestviolin · 14/02/2025 18:06

This reply has been deleted

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TheMasterplan23 · 14/02/2025 18:08

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Be angry with HIM then, not her.
You were her not that long ago….

Winterwonders24 · 14/02/2025 18:09

Charding0 · 14/02/2025 17:37

Let him get on with it, he will do exactly the same to her. You are worth so much more

Show quote history

Agree with first bit: second seems a leap of faith

Purplecatshopaholic · 14/02/2025 18:10

If he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you. Sorry op, but this is all on him - he will likely have told her the same shit he told you. This man lies remember - the OW won’t know the half of it - save your anger for the cheating rat!

catlover123456789 · 14/02/2025 18:11

He will do the same to her in a couple of years, once he realises having a baby means sleepless nights and nappies and a tired wife, he'll suddenly be 'unhappy', find someone new and she'll be lucky if he takes their child every other weekend. You've had a lucky escape even though you don't feel it now. Take it each day at a time and try to avoid your ex as much as possible.

TheCompactPussycat · 14/02/2025 18:12

I'm sorry that you've been hurt but he showed you exactly who he was when you got together. Your mistake was thinking you were special

He didn't love his first wife enough to treat her with respect and end their relationship before embarking on his next one (with you). He doesn't, and probably never has, loved you enough to treat you with the respect to end your relationship before starting on his new one.

What do you do? You move on. He doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you. He lies to you. He thinks you're disposable. He's treated you like a piece of trash.

Have some self respect and move on.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 14/02/2025 18:12

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Like you did to his first wife, you mean? What goes around...

pompey38 · 14/02/2025 18:14

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:34

I have every reason to be angry! He’s acting as if he never loved me and now I’ve been blocked and the last thing he said to me was “remove all photos of us on your soical media” and the divorce papers will be soon be with you. We did a prenup so I won’t get anything so he’s basically fucked me over. And now he’s parading her around like a bloody trophy just because she’s pregnant

It’s hard to believe your post is true, but if it is ,it’s oblivious that the man wants kids , that neither you or his ex wife could give him . This new bird and her ability to procreate might be the lucky one 😂😂

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 14/02/2025 18:16

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Sorta like how your stole the life away from his ex? OP seriously consider what you are saying here.

You don’t have any issue that you did it to another woman and now want to call another woman and give her a piece of your mind because you are angry? Now maybe you can understand how his first wife felt. Thats karma and I’m not sure many will have any sympathy for you. Move on.

Reputationtv · 14/02/2025 18:17

She’s stealing my life away from me.

😂😂 You stole another woman’s life first.
Karma caught up with you. You reap what you sow.

TequilaNights · 14/02/2025 18:17

I'm very sorry you are going through this terrible time, but I dont know what you was expecting, you knew who he was, when he cheated on his wife and left her for you and he is that same person, doing to you exactly what he did you his ex before you, and what he will probably do with his new lady.

Ang3leyes · 14/02/2025 18:17

Posted before I read

DoYouReally · 14/02/2025 18:17

You backed a bad horse!

You knew his form. He wasn't the champion prize.

You are in the exact same position as his ex wife found herself. Past behaviour being the best future behaviour.

I've no doubt it hurts but all the warning signs were there from the start!

Booboobagins · 14/02/2025 18:18

As hard as this sounds @Emilia90 if someone does not want you, they don't deserve you. You need to move on and not waste anymore time on this guy.

He obvs has probs settling....

crumblingschools · 14/02/2025 18:19

He's obviously a shit, but this woman isn't any different to you

Allthegoodhorses · 14/02/2025 18:19

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Oh for the love of god.. HE stole the life away from you.. HE is the lying scumbag. Do you think she dragged him into her bed and forced him to have sex with her? 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️😬

TheCompactPussycat · 14/02/2025 18:20

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:34

I have every reason to be angry! He’s acting as if he never loved me and now I’ve been blocked and the last thing he said to me was “remove all photos of us on your soical media” and the divorce papers will be soon be with you. We did a prenup so I won’t get anything so he’s basically fucked me over. And now he’s parading her around like a bloody trophy just because she’s pregnant

He’s acting as if he never loved me

Yeah, he's not acting. He has NEVER loved you. I can promise you that.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 14/02/2025 18:20

lnks · 14/02/2025 16:51

I agree. Threads like this generally are. There's been a spate of outlandish threads the last few day which all end up being delete by MN.

Show quote history

Yeah, similar outraged vibe to the woman wanting a spare room kept empty in a holiday rental.

IButtleSir · 14/02/2025 18:23

You accept that consequences of your actions, that's what you do.

And then maybe work on developing a bit of self-awareness?

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 14/02/2025 18:23

As Dolly Parton sang;
Why have you left the one you left me for...

TheLionandAlbert · 14/02/2025 18:23

But you do seem to have written every reply straight out of a book called 'Things to say to really wind Mumsnetters up'.

😂 I thought this too!

Friscodisco · 14/02/2025 18:23

Im sorry @Emilia90 - you are much better off without him. I know it hurts right now but you are free of a serial cheater. Chin up and focus on your new life, minus a cheating idiot 💐

Flopsythebunny · 14/02/2025 18:23

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

You mean like you did? 😂

pearbottomjeans · 14/02/2025 18:24

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Hang on, by that logic didn’t you do the same to his ex wife??